The Purpose of Life
by A.J. Kelly
Summary: Jasper Whitlock has come to Forks to live out the last few weeks of his life in the comfort of his mother and father.  Doctor Edward Cullen will stop at nothing to know the young man his father is treating, no matter how long they have. AU. Slash. Hu/Vamp
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hello! Here's another story that's been floating around my head for a while. It would leave me alone so I needed to write it. To those reading 'That Which Cannot Remain Silent', don't worry I'm still working on it. This one will be more angsty than TWCRS. Sorry,but I'll try to lighten it up at times. Just be warned though._

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all recognisable characters, no infringement is intended. Only the plot is mine.

Gaily I lived as ease and nature taught,

And spent my little life without a thought,

And am amazed that Death, that tyrant grim,

Should think of me, who never thought of him.

~René Francois Regnier

Chapter One

"Honey, I just want you to be taken care of."

"I know Mom, I just…" Jasper tried to breathe deeply, calming himself so he wouldn't start getting irritated, "I'm not ready for people to take care of me yet."

"I understand, but eventually you will need someone to take care of you. It scares me that you are alone."

"Well you're the one who moved to Washington, of all places," Jasper pointed out.

"And you should come be with us. Forks has one of the best doctors around, if anyone can treat you it's Dr. Cullen."

"Mom, no. I'm not ready for that yet."

"Then when will you be?" Margaret Whitlock yelled, "When will you be ready to admit that you need our help. It's not your fault Jasper. You are not weak, but you need help. You are my son, my only child and I won't watch you suffer alone."'

Jasper hated upsetting his mom. In many ways, she took his disease harder than he did. In the final stages of Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, Jasper had accepted that, while he would fight with everything he had, the inevitable outcome was his death. His mother, however, was unwilling to accept that.

Jasper had lived in Texas his entire life. When he moved to New Haven, Connecticut to attend Yale, his parents, for reasons Jasper still didn't understand, moved to Washington. As if that wasn't enough, they moved to the obscure town of Forks.

It was Jasper's junior year when he was diagnosed. He underwent chemo, and eventually went into remission. It went away for three wonderful years. However, his cancer returned several months ago, and the doctor's told him that it was worse this time. He was back in chemo every week and it was taking its toll.

He had friends who were willing to help of course, but they had families and careers to focus on. Jasper was very self-sufficient, but he knew that he needed help. Especially when he was having a bad day and could barely leave his bed. Even though he was twenty-five years old, having his mother take care of him sounded appealing.

"Please Jasper, let me help you. It's not so bad in Forks, it's relaxing and you'll love all the trees. You can go for walks; you always loved walking in the woods. And Dr. Cullen is an excellent doctor."

Jasper wanted to stay independent. He didn't want help from his mother, and he was perfectly happy with his doctor in New Haven. He wasn't ready to be babied. But perhaps a change of scenery would be nice. He could always keep his apartment and see how it went. If it turned out to be a disaster he could move back.

"Okay mom, we'll try it." Jasper heard his mom sigh with relief. If nothing else, this would make his mom feel better.

"Thank you sweetheart. I'll get the guest room fixed up for you, you can bring whatever you need, and I'll set up an appointment with Dr. Cullen for you."

"Okay, I'm going to talk to my editor. Maybe they'll still let me write my articles and email them in."

"Of course they will. Call your editor and let me know when you're coming. I'm so happy that you are finally doing this Jasper."

Jasper tried to smile, but wasn't able to. He still tried to sound happy for his mom though, "yeah, mom. I'll let you know. Bye."

Jasper hung up the phone. What had he done? Cancer was destroying everything. First it was his body, and now it was controlling his life. Yes, it would be nice to have his mother take care of him when he was too sick, but that also came with a price: moving back in with his parents.

Deciding that he should get everything over and done with, Jasper dialed his editor's number. As he waited for him to answer, Jasper pulled his suitcase out from underneath his bed.

"Matthews," his editor answered.

"Hey Matthews, it's Jasper." Jasper's editor was one of the few people who knew that Jasper was sick. Jasper didn't want people to pity him or tip-toe around him, but Matthew's needed to know for the days Jasper was too sick to come in to work.

Jasper had interned at the New Haven Register in his senior year and after graduation was offered a job. Over the years, he had managed to work his way up to the national news, one of the most prized positions. He loved his job and his co-workers; they were what had kept him in New Haven for so long.

"Hey Jasper, what's up?"

"Well," Jasper started, not knowing what to say, "I need to talk to you. About me."

"What about Jasper, are you okay?"

Gathering his courage, Jasper plunged in, "I'm getting sicker Matthews. And I'm going to go live with my parents for a while. Just to have someone look after me, you know."

"Okay, I understand. What do you want to do about work?"

"Well, I was hoping I could write my articles there and I'd email them to the copywriters. I know it's a hassle, but I love this job and I don't want to lose it."

Jasper waited anxiously for Matthews to answer, "Of course Jasper. You don't need to be here to do the national articles. You know our schedule, and I'll email you info about your beat."

"Thanks, Matthews. I owe you."

Jasper got off the phone with Matthews and immediately went to his computer to book a plane ticket. Dread filled him as he thought about how his life had turned out. It was a cruel trick, in his opinion. He called his mom to let her know that he would be arriving at the beginning of next week. When he hung up, he was unable to shake the sense that he had given over his freedom to become a prisoner.

* * *

Forks wasn't so bad. It was green and rainy, but Jasper expected that. When he first met his parents it was a joyful reunion. It had been months since he had seen his parents, and Jasper was truly happy to see them.

"How was the trip dear, did you sleep on the plane? Or eat? Are you hungry? If you think you can wait until we get home then I have some chicken to cook up, otherwise we can stop and get you something."

Jasper loved his mom dearly, but he wasn't used to having anyone other than a nurse hover over him. Five minutes off the plane and his mother was already fluttering about him.

"I'm fine mom. I don't need to eat anything. I can wait." Margaret nodded, looking him over. Jasper turned to give his father a hug.

"Hi Dad."

"Hey son," Richard Whitlock said, "how are you feeling?"

"Fine, it's a good day," Jasper smiled.

They got Jasper's bags from baggage claim and walked to the parking ramp to get his parent's car. Jasper sat in the back seat, once again feeling like child while his parents sat up front.

"I've got you an appointment with Dr. Cullen on Wednesday morning. That gives you tomorrow to relax, unpack, and get used to the town a bit. I can drive you in, or if you feel comfortable you can borrow my car and drive yourself," his mother said. She rifled through her purse before pulling out a piece of paper, "This is his number for you to have."

"Thanks mom. I think I can drive myself. Unless it's hard to find?"

Margaret laughed, "Not at all. Forks is so small, you drive down the main street and the hospital is off to the left. If you hit dense forest, you've gone too far."

"And it's just a meeting? No treatment right?" Jasper checked. If there would be no treatment, there would be no reason for Margaret to drive him. He may have moved home, but Jasper was still determined to be as independent as possible.

"Yes, he just wants to meet with you. You might have some tests, but no treatments."

"Then I should be okay. If I have any problems I'll call you."

"Of course dear." Margaret said, before immediately launching into telling Jasper about the people in the town. Charlie Swan, the police chief; the local diner that they ate breakfast in every Sunday; and the Newton's who owned the outdoors store. Richard promised to take Jasper there to get a pair of hiking shoes and a jacket that would work with Forks' rainy weather so Jasper could walk in the woods without getting too cold.

Jasper tried to pay attention, but it was impossible. Too many thoughts were racing through his head, but the most prominent was that this would be a nice place to die. It was far away from his friends and the life he had built for himself, but his parents were here. Plus, he would be able to spend time in the forest, among all the green, which had always been his favourite colour. Jasper found that he was already looking forward to breathing in the pure forest air.

Before he knew it, they were pulling into the driveway. Jasper got out of the car and looked at his new home. It was two stories, painted light blue, and had a small porch in the front with a swing on it. Jasper's eyes lit up when he saw the swing. No matter how old he got, Jasper always loved swinging and trying to see how high he could get. There had been a porch swing at their home in Texas. At least, there had been until Jasper broke it. His parent's refused to get another swing for him after that. Jasper smiled at the memory, and began planning afternoons of seeing how high this swing would go. Robert brought Jasper's bags up to the porch before unlocking the door and ushering Jasper into the house.

"Welcome home son," Robert said, then he smiled and grasped Jasper's shoulder, "I know this is hard for you, but we are really glad you're here. I'll try to contain your mother so you can keep some control over your own life."

Jasper smiled, thanking his father for his effort even though they both knew if wouldn't do any good. Margaret was a force to be reckoned with, and neither of the men in her life would ever convince her to do something once she was committed to an idea. And her new commitment was to nurse her baby boy back to perfect health.

"Okay darling," Margaret's voice flitted into the house as she walked through the door. She grabbed Jasper's elbow and pulled him after her down the hallway, "here is the kitchen, right off the hallway. At the end is the living room and dining room as well has a half bathroom. And there's a closet for cleaning supplies. The vacuum and broom are in there if you ever need it. Upstairs are the rooms. Our room is at the top of the stairs and your room is at the end of the hall. I've fixed it up for you so it's ready for you to unpack and take a nap. You look a bit tired, dear. Oh, and your bathroom is across from your room. You have it all to yourself; your father and I have our own bathroom.

Jasper took it all in, but he had to agree with his mother. He was exhausted. It had been a good day, but all the traveling and new information had taken its toll.

"Thanks mom. I think I'll find my room and take a nap. You're right, I am tired." He kissed his mom on the cheek and walked up the stairs and down the hall. He found his room and was pleased that it was on the opposite side of the hall than his parent's room. At least he wouldn't have to share a wall with them. His mother had painted the walls a soft cream colour, which looked nice with his oak dresser and blue comforter. Best of all, in his opinion, was the window seat overlooking the forest in the back yard.

His father had already brought his suitcases to his room, so Jasper spent the next hour unpacking and making the room look more 'Jasper'. He unloaded his books on the bedside table and put some pictures of his friends and family on top of the dresser. Then he put his laptop on the other bedside table before sitting on the window seat.

He thought about his new home and new life and was surprised that he was relived to be in Forks. It was restricting, but the slow lifestyle was exactly what he was looking for. And it was nice to have his mother here, if only for someone to take care of him on his bad days. Jasper resolved that he would not mope. He would not get depressed or upset when his parents tried to help him. He would no longer look at this place as a prison.

Jasper got up to head to the bed when something caught his attention in the forest. He looked out at the trees, swearing there had been a flash of red, but nothing was there. Rubbing his eyes, he assumed that he was just tired and needed a nap. He looked at the trees, just to check again, but still nothing there. Shaking his head, Jasper decided his mind was playing tricks on him.

"Jasper," his mother called up the stairs, "We're going into town to have dinner. In all the excitement I forgot to go grocery shopping. When will you be ready?"

Jasper really didn't want to go into town and be stared at. He just wanted a quiet night at home so he could watch TV, catch up with his parents, and go to bed early. But if he admitted that, then his mother would baby him for the next few days, and that was something he desperately didn't want.

"I'm coming," he yelled down. He opened the drawers where he put his t-shirts and changed into a fresh one. He looked at himself in the mirror and tried to decide what ball cap to wear. He had adjusted to his hair loss easily as it wasn't the first time in had happened. He decided during his first round that he wouldn't wear a wig. He felt no need to hide what was going on, but he also didn't want it to be obvious. The day he received his diagnosis, he went out, shaved his head, and bought a brand new collection of ball caps. He settled on his favourite, his Yale cap that he had bought during his senior year. He smiled as he remembered his old life, then turned away from the mirror to start his new one.

* * *

The next day went by quickly for Jasper. His mother introduced him to the town the day after he arrived. They walked through the streets, his mother telling him all the little details about everyone they walked past. He met the Police Chief, Chief Swan, the owner of the diner his parents loved, Mrs. Rice, and was even able to sneak away from his parents long enough to take a walk in the woods.

Wednesday arrived, and Jasper was already dreading his doctor visit. He wasn't feeling in top form, but he was too stubborn to ask his mother to drive him. He would be fine. He drove to the hospital following his mother's instructions. As she had said, it wasn't hard to find. Jasper walked into the main office and stood in front of the receptionist, waiting for her to notice him. She appeared to be doing something on the computer, so Jasper waited for a minute before getting annoyed. He looked over the counter and saw that she was playing Solitaire. Well, that was the end of that, he thought.

Jasper cleared his throat and the woman finally looked up at him, "can I help you?"

"Yes, I'm Jasper Whitlock, I have an appointment with Dr. Cullen."

The woman tapped on the keys of the computer before nodding. She got a clipboard and pen and stuck an information request sheet on the board, "fill this out. When you're done bring it back to the desk. Dr. Cullen will be with you as soon as he can."

Jasper took a chair and looked at the sheet. It only asked for basic health information, age, weight, allergies, previous illnesses and surgeries. Jasper scoffed, but still took his time filling out the sheet. It was better than paging through a magazine only to be interrupted once he found an article he was actually interested in.

Jasper had been waiting for 10 minutes, when a voice reached his ears and caused him to stop what he was doing. He looked up and saw the most beautiful man in front of him. He was tall and a bit lanky with ghostly pale skin, but what caught Jasper's attention was his hair. It was a brilliant bronze colour, thick and sticking out as if a hand had been run through it many times. Or he had just been thoroughly fucked. Jasper wasn't sure which option he preferred. The man's eyes were a piercing gold, hidden behind black square-framed glasses.

"Are you Jasper Whitlock?" The man asked. Jasper nodded, feeling unable to speak to the man in front of him.

"I'm Dr. Edward Cullen, Dr. Cullen's son. He's busy at the moment with a patient, so he asked me to show you to a room and get your basic information. Would you come with me?" Jasper nodded again, and stupidly held out the clipboard to Dr. Edward Cullen.

"Oh, well, thank you. I'll just take this with me and put it in you file. This way." He walked away from Jasper, and Jasper had to blink and inhale deeply before he was able to follow.

They went into one of the rooms and Jasper sat on the examination table while Dr. Edward, as Jasper had suddenly taken to calling him, sat in front of a computer.

"Okay," Dr. Edward said, looking at the computer screen, "So you're here…"

"Because I have stage four cancer," Jasper said bluntly, not wanting to beat around the bush, "My parents moved up here a few years ago and I came here to spend my last amount of time with them."

Dr. Edward looked over at Jasper. There was tenderness on his face that Jasper didn't understand.

"So young," he heard Dr. Edward mutter under his breath.

"You're not much older than me," Jasper retorted, hating when people felt pity from him. A small smile flickered across the doctor's face before it was wiped away and the serious doctor returned.

"What have your doctors back home told you?" Dr. Edward asked.

"Shouldn't this be something I tell my real doctor? I thought you were just getting my basic info?" Jasper hated how he was treating this man who only appeared to have his best intentions in mind, but he had suffered too much with people asking questions because they thought it would make him feel better, or because they were trying to indulge their sick curiosity. Dr. Edward seemed to care, but he didn't know Jasper from Adam, and Jasper wasn't going to give any information out to just anyone. Though there was something about Edward that made Jasper want to tell him. Jasper didn't understand this and resisted the urge.

"Yes, I'm sorry I just…" Dr. Edward trailed off, "Let's get back, yes? Do you have any allergies?"

"Penicillin." Dr. Edward nodded before typing that into the system.

"And how are you feeling today?' Jasper didn't know if that was a question Dr. Edward was supposed to ask, but he felt a little guilty about how he had been acting, so he answered.

"I'm a little tired. And my stomach is queasy. I shouldn't complain; the past two days have been great. I can have a slightly bad day."

"How often do you get chemo?"

"My last cycle just ended. That's another reason why I came here now. I had just finished four weeks, every other day." Dr. Edward continued to watch Jasper, typing absolutely nothing into the computer.

"Aren't you going to enter that?" Jasper asked. He was uncomfortable with the scrutiny he was getting from the doctor. He had already told him more than he intended to, but something about Dr. Edward made him want to open up and talk.

Dr. Edward's eyes widened, as if he had been caught, but at what, Jasper had no idea, "I'll remember it," he said quickly," I'm going to take your vitals. My father should be in soon."

Jasper sat on the examination table as Dr. Edward checked him over. Halfway into his blood pressure being checked, the door opened and Dr. Cullen walked in. It briefly crossed Jasper's mind that he had majorly lucked out in getting the two hottest doctors in the US, but he pushed the thought aside so he wouldn't be caught staring at the handsome blonde doctor. Besides, he had always had a thing for redheads.

"Jasper? I'm Dr. Cullen, thank you for waiting. I hope Edward was able to get you comfortable?"

"I've got his vitals and medical history. Is there anything else you need?" Edward asked.

"No that should be fine. Thank you." Dr. Cullen looked at the computer, checking to make sure everything was filled in. But Jasper just watched Edward; he hadn't left the room yet, instead lingering at the door watching Jasper, as if unwilling to leave him alone.

Dr. Cullen looked up to talk to Jasper when he noticed his son was still in the room, "Yes Edward?"

Edward's lips tightened at getting caught and he left the room, muttering a goodbye as he left. Dr. Cullen turned back to Jasper with a smile spread across his face.

"How are you today, Jasper?"

"I'm good," Jasper said. He shifted on the table and winced when the paper crackled. After spending so much time in doctor's offices, he had grown to hate that sound.

"Wonderful, why don't you tell me about your treatment history." Jasper repeated everything that he had told Edward, leaving out the information that he had come to Forks to die. For some reason, that didn't seem like something he could tell Dr. Cullen. He still wasn't sure why he had told Edward.

"I'd like to get some x-rays of you today and then set up an appointment to discuss your options, okay?"

Dr. Cullen led Jasper down the hall to the x-ray room. By this time, Jasper's head was pounding and his vision was starting to blur. It had been too much today, and all Jasper wanted to do was go home and sleep. He didn't even notice when the x-ray was done, he was too intent on seeing straight. Only Dr. Cullen's voice, trying to set up an appointment, brought him back.

"Jasper, are you feeling alright?" Dr. Cullen asked, putting his hand on his shoulders. Jasper noticed how cold his hand was, and the drastic temperature change only made him feel worse. He pulled away and sat on the floor, trying to breathe as deeply as he could.

When his vision straightened out, Jasper looked back up at the concerned Dr. Cullen, "It's just… I have a headache and it was making me dizzy. But the dizziness has passed. I'm okay now."

Dr. Cullen didn't look convinced, "Do you have someone here with you? I don't want you driving home like this."

"I'm fine, Doctor, see," Jasper lifted himself off the floor, he was a little wobbly on his feet, but his vision remained normal.

"Be that as it may, I would feel more comfortable if someone drove you home. What about your mother?"

"She can't. I'm driving her car and my dad's at work. I'm fine doctor. Really."

Dr. Cullen smiled at him, "I can see you're determined Jasper, and I like that. But I'm putting my foot down. Come with me." He opened the door and let Jasper into the hallway first. As they walked, Jasper could feel Dr. Cullen's presence behind him and he felt like Dr. Cullen was just waiting for him to collapse. They walked into the waiting room and Dr. Cullen instructed Jasper to take a seat.

"Linda," Dr. Cullen said to the receptionist, "Would you page my son? Ask him to come up here. I need him to drive Jasper home."

"No, that's not necessary," Jasper protested, "I'm fine. There would be no use in him getting stuck at my house. I live on the other end of town, he'll have no way back."

"I imagine he'll enjoy a nice walk," Dr. Cullen said, the kind smile stretching across his face again, "Please Jasper? For my sanity as a Doctor, let Edward drive you home."

Jasper hesitated for a moment, caught between his desire to be independent and his desire to see the beautiful man again. Finally he gave into his desire to see Edward, "Fine Dr. Cullen."

"Thank you Jasper, and please call me Carlisle. I have a feeling we'll get to know each other very well." Jasper wasn't so sure about that, but he nodded anyway.

"Dad?" Edward said, walking into the room. His gaze flickered over Jasper for a moment before returning to his father.

"Edward, Jasper isn't feeling well and I need you to drive him home."

"Sure," Edward said. He walked over to Jasper, "may I have your car keys?"

Jasper fished his keys out of his pockets and handed them to Edward. He internally shivered when their fingers brushed and he thought he saw a reaction out of Edward. Jasper got up from his chair to leave while Edward watched his every movement.

"Thank you Dr—Carlisle. I'll see you in a few days." He said.

"Make sure you bring someone with you next time, just in case," Carlisle instructed before going back down the hall.

Jasper and Edward walked into the parking lot quietly, "Thanks for driving me," Jasper said.

Edward smiled at him, "I don't mind. Besides, it lets me get to know the new guy in town. Everyone's curious about you."

They had reached Jasper's car, and he groaned as they got in, "I just want to be left alone. I didn't come here for them."

"Why did you come, then?" Edward softly asked.

"I told you. My parents wanted me with them so they could take care of me. And I wasn't a fan of dying alone."

"What makes you think you're going to die?" Edward asked.

Jasper looked over at Edward and once again wondered why he cared, Edward's hands gripped the steering wheel, and there was an intense look on his face. Jasper could only assume that it was for him—nothing else had happened to cause that reaction—but he didn't know why.

"Besides my doctor's telling me so?" Jasper responded dryly.

"Doctor's can be wrong, trust me."

Jasper was quiet for a while, again wondering how much to tell him. Finally deciding that it couldn't hurt, and remembering his prior promise to not hide away and resent people, he answered, "I can feel it. In my body, in my mind. I can't do things as quickly as I normally would. I'm weaker. I'm tired all the time. Some nights I go to bed and I'm sure I'll never wake up. Or I'll wake up but I won't be functioning."

Jasper hadn't noticed that while he was talking, they had pulled into his driveway. Edward cut the engine and turned his body to face Jasper.

"What are you doing tonight?" Edward asked.

"Why?"

Edward took a deep breath, "I'm going to the movies tonight. I know you're probably tired and you aren't feeling well, but…" Edward stopped and closed his eyes, "if you do feel better, would you like to come? With me?"

Jasper was speechless. Well, not quite speechless, "like a date?"

Edward nodded before swallowing heavily, "yes, a date."

"Just to check. I just told you I'm going to die in a few months—maybe weeks. And you're asking me out on a date? How do you even know I'm gay?" Jasper enjoyed watching Edward open and close his mouth while he tried to answer.

"I just… know. And your sickness, well, I've been taught to hope. And I would really like to get to know you. Regardless of what will happen. So please. Will you go out with me tonight."

Jasper knew he shouldn't. It wasn't why he moved to Forks, and to start a romantic relationship at this point in his life was stupidity with a capital S. But Edward drew him in and against every rational bone in his body, Jasper wanted to know him. This was one thing that Jasper wouldn't let cancer take from him.

"Yes, if I feel better tonight." The brilliant smile on Edward's face made Jasper know at that moment that whatever would come, it would be worth it. They exchanged cell numbers with the promise that Jasper would call if he were still too sick to go and said goodbye. Jasper briefly wondered how Edward was going to get home, but the thought was lost as he headed straight upstairs to sleep for several hours. He was going to make sure he was healthy so he could see Edward that night.

* * *

_Read and Review! Thanks. ~AJ Kelly_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thank you all for your great response to this story! And a great big thanks to everyone who reviewed, I appreciate it. Well, here's chapter two. I'm sorry it took so long, it's been a crazy week. But here you go!_

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all recognisable characters, no infringement is intended. Only the plot is mine.

Chapter Two

Jasper bit on his bottom lip, looking around the parking lot. Not wanting to look like he was eagerly waiting for a date, he waited in his car for some sign that Edward was at the theatre. He had been waiting for ten minutes. Ten horrible minutes filled with worry and self-doubt. Jasper didn't understand why he cared about the date so much. He had only met Edward hours before but there was something about him.

It was because he inexplicably cared for Edward that this was so hard. Jasper wasn't bothered by the idea of a relationship, but if one did grow out of this date, Jasper was worried for Edward. Jasper had gone over this in his head for hours, debating whether to come or not. He always came to the same conclusion: Edward could make his own decisions, and if he wanted to spend time with Jasper, despite knowing about his illness, then who was Jasper to stop him? But he still questioned whether he should be that cruel.

Growling in frustration at his thoughts, Jasper decided to walk up to the theatre. He hoped some fresh air would calm his thoughts and his nerves. It was times like these when he wished he smoked. Just so he could have something to do, something to focus on.

Jasper was beginning to think about all the different things he could do to distract himself, when he saw Edward climbing out of a car farther back in the parking lot. All conflicted thoughts went out the window as Edward turned to look directly at Jasper and smiled brilliantly at him. Jasper couldn't help the grin that stretched across his face and grew ridiculously wider as Edward walked towards him.

"Good evening, Jasper," Edward said when he reached him.

"Hello."

"I'm sorry that you had to wait. I was held up by Alice, my sister. She was originally going to come with me, but when she heard that you would be here she insisted that I go on my own. I had to spend a considerable amount of time trying to assure her that she wouldn't be an inconvenience, while subtly implying that she would be an inconvenience. It was a delicate line, and it made me late. I'm sorry."

"It's not a problem. I was a bit early too so… Alice could have come if she wanted," Jasper added. He didn't want to seem like a jerk, but he was pleased that Edward's sister wouldn't be a third-wheel. Or that he would be the third-wheel.

"Maybe some other time," Edward smiled, "Shall we?"

They decided to go to an action movie. Neither wanted to see the comedy that was playing, and Jasper flat-out refused to see the romance.

"I may be gay, but I'm still a man. I'm not wasting two hours on a chick flick with the same recycled storyline as every other chick flick," Jasper protested.

"But nothing's original anymore. All stories are influenced by what came before it," Edward said.

"True. But if I'm going to watch the exact same story only with different actors, slightly different dialogue, and a different location, then something better explode. That all I'm saying. I'm fine if all movies are the same, just make something explode and I won't care anymore." Edward laughed and Jasper felt a swooping in his stomach at the sound.

They got their tickets and moved into the lobby, stopping in front of the concessions counter. Jasper tried to decide what he wanted to eat. His nausea from earlier had gone, but he didn't want to ruin the date by getting sick and puking popcorn. Even though Edward was a doctor, puking was the most unromantic thing that Jasper could picture happening.

When it was their turn Jasper just ordered a bottle of water. He turned to Edward to let him order, but Edward refused anything.

"Not hungry?" Jasper asked as they walked to their theatre.

"No, I ate before I came. I was starving when I got home from the hospital and couldn't wait."

"I meant to ask you, how was the walk back?" Jasper felt guilty about that, knowing that it would have taken Edward at least half-an-hour to get back to the hospital. If Edward had waited, Jasper would have asked his mother to drive Edward back, but when he turned around to recommend it, Edward had been gone.

"Invigorating." Jasper waited for Edward to say more, but Edward was already walking towards the seats. Following him, Jasper tried to think of something to say, but came up with nothing.

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Edward said when they sat down, "I was worried you'd be too sick to come."

"Well, I slept all afternoon so that helped a lot." Edward nodded in agreement, and they slipped into silence, Edward looked forward and watched the ads playing on the screen and Jasper picked the label of his water bottle. Jasper, again, tried to find something to ask Edward, but his mind was blank. Everything he would normally ask on a first date didn't seem to apply here. He knew what Edward did for a living; there wasn't enough time to ask about family, or hobbies. All Jasper could think to ask was what Edward's favourite colour was. And no way in hell was he going to ask that. It was just too lame a question.

However, the silence began to gnaw at him, making him crazy and before he could stop himself he blurted out the only thing he had thought of, "What's your favourite colour?"

Edward laughed loudly and covered his mouth with his hand when the people around them turned around to look at them, "Where did that come from?"

"Sorry," Jasper muttered, "but the silence was driving me nuts. It was the first thing that popped into my head."

"Red. My favourite colour is red. Yours?"

"Green," Jasper answered. And just like that, the conversation was over again. Jasper didn't feel uncomfortable. He didn't thing anything about Edward could make him feel uncomfortable. But sitting in silence worried Jasper. It gave him too much time to think about whether Edward was having a good time. Would he think he had made a mistake in asking Jasper out? What if he didn't ask Jasper out again? "_This has been a nice time, but I don't think it'll work out. See you at your next appointment."_ Jasper didn't like that at all.

Finally the movie started, allowing Jasper to immerse himself in violence and sweaty, shirtless men for two wonderful hours. At one point in the movie, Jasper's hand brushed Edward's when he was reaching for his water. Jasper quickly pulled away from the ice-cold hand lying on the armrest. He didn't feel any air-conditioning, and wondered how Edward could be so cold. Years of dealing with an inconsistent body had taught Jasper to bring a sweater with him wherever he went, in case he got cold; just as he always had a t-shirt on, in case he got too hot. He leaned over so he could speak to Edward quietly. He heard Edward's breath catch, but continued until his mouth was level with Edward's ear.

"Would you like my sweater?" He whispered.

"What?"

"My sweater," Jasper grabbed his sweater off the chair next to his and dropped it in Edward's lap, "I noticed that your hand is freezing, so would you like to use my sweater? I don't need it now."

Edward picked the sweater up from his lap, muttered a quiet 'thank you' and put it on. Jasper thought he saw Edward smell the collar, and found himself extremely pleased that he had given Edward his sweater. With any luck, when he got it back it would smell of Edward.

After giving Edward his sweater, Jasper was no longer able to focus on the movie. He constantly watched Edward out of the corner of his eye, every shift of Edward's body, every sigh, drawing his attention. He didn't even notice when the movie ended until Edward turned to ask him a question.

"Would you like a drink?"

"What?" Jasper asked, not completely hearing the question.

"A drink? Maybe some coffee or tea? There's a little diner down the street we could go to so we can talk." Edward stood up and removed the sweater, handing it to Jasper.

"Sure." When Edward turned his back, Jasper took a quick sniff of the sweater. Edward's smell had permeated the fabrics. Jasper let the smell fill his senses. It was light and sweet and Jasper wanted more.

They walked quietly to the diner and got a table in the corner. After ordering their drinks—chamomile tea for Jasper, a coffee for Edward—Edward leaned back into his booth and launched into questioning Jasper.

"So what do you do?" He asked. Jasper was pleased that he didn't immediately assume that he didn't have a job. It was another thing to add to the ever-growing list of reasons why Jasper wanted to know Edward better.

"I'm a journalist. For a newspaper back home."

"Really? How does that work with you here?"

"Well, I do the national news. Don't really need to be in New Haven to write about that. My boss is letting me cover the stories from here and then send them in."

"And do you like it?"

Jasper smiled, thinking about the job that had taught him so much about the world and himself. "Yeah, I love it. I love getting to the bottom of an issue and finding out the truth. I do that a lot with the national news, especially when reporting on politics or social issues. I can't always print what I find; sometimes it's just not important to the piece. But I always learn something new."

Their drinks arrived, and Jasper watched amused as the waitress spoke with Edward for a good five minutes about his family. Edward tried to imply that he was on a date but the women either didn't care, or didn't understand, and kept talking. Finally, they were left alone. Jasper chuckled when Edward started grumbling about nosey, annoying women.

"So what are you reporting now?" Edward asked, blowing on his coffee to cool it down.

"Nothing. I'm waiting for my boss to give me a story. But I should probably watch the news to see what's been going on. I've been out of touch for the past few days." Jasper frowned. He had forgotten about work. When he got home he would need to turn on the news. Otherwise Matthews would give him a story and he'd have no fucking idea what it was about.

"What about you?" Jasper asked, taking a sip of his tea, "How are you possibly old enough to be a doctor? Residency sure, but full-fledged doctor?"

Edward laughed and put his coffee on the table, "Well, the only way to explain it is that I'm brilliant." His cocky smirk caused an unexpected reaction from Jasper. Normally something like that would make him aroused, or at least shut down his brain in a lust-filled fog. Instead he blushed. Blushed for a reason he didn't fucking understand. There was nothing embarrassing about what Edward had said. Maybe he was blushing because he had expected a different reaction?

Willing the redness to leave his face, Jasper decided that there was no time like the present to lay out all his cards, every worry he was having. He was already blushing, how could it fucking get worse?

"If you're so brilliant then why are you here?" He asked. Subtly had never been one of Jasper's strong points. He hated when someone _implied_ something. Better to just say it and deal with the consequences. He couldn't count the amount of times that had backfired on him.

"Excuse me?" Edward asked taken aback. He crossed his arms and fixed Jasper with a cold stare.

"Why are you here? Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled. You're hot, we get along great, and you are smart so I won't feel like I'm talking to an idiot, but you're my doctor. You've seen my charts. Hell, you probably know the results of my tests today before even I do. So why are you investing in me?" He had to know. He had to know that it wasn't pity, or curiosity, or any fucking charity. He also had to know that when everything went south, Edward would be okay and accepting.

Edward glared out the diner window, unmoving except when he would swallow or suddenly exhale violently. Jasper waited, imagining all the horrible things that Edward could possibly be thinking and how he could react. Jasper looked down at the table and spotted Edward's cup of coffee still completely full. He suddenly had a vivid image of Edward throwing the hot coffee in his face, storming out of the diner, and vowing to never speak to Jasper ever again. Jasper looked up to see that Edward's glare had now turned on him.

Then Edward spoke, the cold never leaving his eyes, "I want to be here. I told you that before. I'm not doing it for charity. I don't feel bad for you. Am I upset that you're sick, of course. Will I encourage you to do all you can to get better? Naturally. But I don't pity you. I'm here because I like you. Please don't insult me by thinking otherwise."

Jasper felt truly ashamed for thinking about Edward like that. He had no reason to do it, but past experience crept up on him, driving him to accuse the one person in this town who treated him normal.

"I'm sorry Edward. I really am. I don't think you're like that," Edward snorted, and Jasper smiled apologetically, "Fine, I don't think you're completely like that. I guess I just had to know that you're really in this. Because when I'm too sick I don't want you to get hurt, and—"

"I'm an adult, Jasper, " Edward cut in, "Let me make my own decisions. I'm in this, regardless of the outcome."

"You're sure?"

"Yes. And this ends this discussion. No pushing me away, no trying to keep me safe. You won't bring it up tomorrow or ever again."

"Tomorrow?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah. I have lunch around one and was hoping we could meet."

Jasper ignored the damn butterflies in his stomach and the way his heart was racing, "My mom will have the car tomorrow for work. But you could come to the house."

"Great." Edward smiled, his beautiful, light features replacing the terrifying ones from earlier. "I should probably get you home. It's late and you're looking a little pale."

Jasper didn't have the courage to tell Edward that his paleness had nothing to do with feeling sick. Edward had been truly terrifying, but that still didn't keep Jasper from wanting to be with him. He leaned over to get his sweater from the bench when he noticed that Edward's coffee was still completely full.

"We don't have to go. You haven't touched your coffee, I can wait." Jasper pushed the mug closer to Edward to show that he really was okay with waiting.

"I'm done. I've had enough." Jasper didn't think it had been touched at all. The mug was completely clean; there were no stray coffee marks anywhere. Shrugging, Jasper slid out of the bench and followed Edward out the door.

* * *

Getting ready for bed, Jasper couldn't keep his thoughts away from Edward. That he was willing to get to know Jasper, knowing that very soon he would die, touched Jasper beyond words. Apart from the fact that Edward was the sexiest man Jasper had ever met, and he had fantasised about Edward several times that day, including a dirty dream, Edward was also kind, smart, funny, and had no intention of leaving.

Jasper had experienced that before. Since getting sick, all his ex-boyfriend had left when things got too difficult. Ryan had been his boyfriend when he had first been diagnosed. He had stuck around for a few months, but slowly distanced himself from Jasper. He wouldn't come home some nights, or would back out of plans they had together. Eventually, Ryan said that Jasper's illness was too much for him to handle. He said that he loved Jasper, but taking care of Jasper was too much, and he had school and a job. Never mind that he wasn't the one who could barely move most days, yet still called all their friends wondering and worrying about where his boyfriend was.

Ryan was followed by Sean and David, but they left as well. Eventually Jasper decided that it was easier to be on his own. Friends would help out, but only when necessary. Jasper became completely independent. But he missed the connection of a lover; he missed having someone who knew him completely inside and out. Of course, upon refection, Jasper wondered if he had ever known that.

He hung up his hat and went to the window to look at the moon. The moon and stars had always fascinated him. The shear magnitude of the universe and the beauty of it was what made Jasper want to be an astronaut as a child. Of course then he had discovered that you had to be good at math to be an astronaut, and that dream was shot to hell. He couldn't do math to save his life. But he still loved the stars and often wondered who else in the world was looking at the exact same star as him.

Jasper was thinking about his lost dreams of being an astronaut, complete with a fantasy of drinking water in zero gravity and walking around in the suit pretending to be the Stay Puft monster from Ghostbusters, when he saw the same flash of red from two days ago in the forest. He quickly pressed his face up against the window trying to get a better look, but once again it was gone.

Curiosity was getting the better of him. Before he had chalked it up to being tired and imagining things. But it was definitely there this time. Before falling asleep, Jasper resolved that in the morning, before Edward arrived, he would go into the woods and find what the red thing was.

* * *

Early the next morning Jasper explored the woods. He went where he had seen it the night before, in a little opening between some trees. But when he got there he didn't find anything. He was completely surrounded by green. There was no bird's nest to suggest that it had been a bird and nothing reflective that could have created an illusion of red. There were just trees.

He walked over ten feet to where he had seen it the first time, and again, there was nothing there. Growling in frustration, Jasper kicked a stump and immediately regretted that decision when his toe began to throb.

"Damn it," he muttered, limping back to the house, "Fucking perfect."

He got some ice for his toe and went into the living room to sit down and watch TV until Edward arrived. Remembering that he was still employed, he grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, turned on the news, and began writing down each story that was on as well as some basic facts about them.

When it got to be 12:30, he wondered if he should prepare anything for them to eat. He was already starving and he hadn't done anything, whereas Edward had been working. He went into the kitchen and looked around. There wasn't much to eat, his mother had yet to go to the store. But there were fixing for sandwiches. Hopefully Edward wasn't picky about what he ate.

As it got closer to one, Jasper began to notice that the butterflies in his stomach had returned. His reaction amused him in an I'm-acting-like-I'm-in-fucking-junior-high kind of way. Mostly, though, it annoyed him. He was an adult, with previous relationships. There was no reason he should be acting like a little boy with a crush. What would be next? Would he pull Edward's hair, stick his tongue out at him, and then push him to the ground?

Actually, those didn't sound like bad things… in the right situation.

When the doorbell rang, Jasper nearly ran to the door before stopping himself. He tried to put on an air of nonchalance, but it was broken the second he saw Edward standing on his porch. A brilliant smile stretched across his face.

"Hey, come on in," Jasper let Edward into the house and led him into the kitchen, "Sorry, but we don't have much food. My mom hasn't shopped, and they aren't use to having me here to eat all their food. But we do have some things for sandwiches." Jasper opened the fridge and began pulling thing out and placing them on the counter.

"Don't worry about me, I'm not hungry." Edward leaned against the counter and watched Jasper who looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

"You didn't eat last night, you didn't even drink your coffee and now you don't want lunch?"

Edward shrugged, "I'm not much of an eater."

"Ah, that must be how you stay so very…"

"Don't say it. Don't you dare," Edward warned teasingly, pushing himself off the counter to tower over Jasper, "I get enough of it with my siblings, I don't need you telling me that I'm too skinny."

"I wasn't going to say skinny," Jasper said, feigning innocence as much as he could. Edward studied him for a few seconds before back off. Jasper waited until he was leaned against the counter again before finishing his statement, "I was going to say trim. That's prettier than skinny."

Edward growled and advanced on Jasper, "Say you're sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Jasper couldn't wipe the half-assed smile off his face. For the first time in a long time he felt completely normal.

"Say you're sorry for teasing me." Edward said coming closer. Jasper shut the fridge door and backed into a corner.

"Would you appreciate it more if I said you were lean? Slim? Slender? Lanky? I'm running out of synonyms."

Edward trapped Jasper in the corner, placing both hands on the counters, "I much prefer to keep my manly ego intact, thank you very much."

Jasper could feel his breath on his face and could smell the sweet undertones of his cologne. He breathed deep, capturing the sent of Edward, the one that he had smelled on his sweater.

"So lanky then. That's what you want me to call you," Jasper scrunched his face to make it look like he was thinking very deeply, "It wouldn't be my first choice, but whatever you want."

Edward looked like he was about to reply until he looked down studying their position for a moment. When he looked back up to Jasper his eyes had seemed to darken considerable, with what Jasper assumed was lust. Edward pushed off the counter, away from Jasper, and walked to the other side of the kitchen. Standing far away from Jasper, he still continued to watch Jasper with darkened eyes.

Jasper stood still, wondering what had just happened. One moment Jasper had been sure that Edward was going to kiss him. It was a kiss that would have been very welcomed. But the next, he was across the room.

"Are you okay?" Jasper asked completely bewildered.

"I'm fine," Edward said, but his voice was tight, and Jasper didn't believe him.

"Okay. Well would you like something to drink?"

"I'm really fine. I just wanted to spend time with you." Edward said.

"Then do you want to sit down?" Jasper walked to the living room and sat on the couch. Edward sat next to him and looked around the room. He seemed to notice everything, and when he looked at the coffee table and saw the icepack sitting on it, his eyes narrowed.

"Why did you need an ice pack? Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah, I was just in the woods and stubbed my toe. No big deal," Jasper brushed it off.

Edward's lips tightened, "You're sure you're alright?"

"It was just my toe, Edward," Jasper laughed, "I'm fine. I limped back, cursed any and all forest gods that people have ever believed in, and iced it. I'm good."

"I just don't want you hurt," Edward muttered.

Jasper felt the familiar swooping in his stomach again, "You're just saying that cause you're a doctor. It's ingrained in you to take care of everyone."

"Not everyone. Just you. I couldn't care less if anyone else stubs their toe, but you…" Edward trailed off. He turned his head and stared out the window.

The TV in the background was the only noise as Jasper waited for Edward to finish his thought. He desperately wanted to know why Edward cared so much about him. He understood that he did, he just didn't know why. Edward could have whomever he wanted in this town, and he had chosen the new guy, the guy that he hadn't even known for a day and the guy who would leave him in a few weeks or months.

Feeling compelled to touch him; Jasper reached out and grabbed his arm, squeezing it lightly, "Edward?" He softly said.

Edward turned back, the darkness in his eyes before completely gone, "Sorry, kinda dazed there for a moment."

"It's fine. It gave me a chance to catch up on some of the soap opera."

"Well, great, wouldn't want you to get behind on those," Edward laughed.

"Hey, don't knock 'em til you tried 'em!"

"I have, in college. Nothing else was on so I got a little addicted to soap operas. Not as a serious watcher, but the characters were fascinating. My brother Emmett and I watched them together."

"You watched soap operas with your brother?" Jasper had a hard time picturing Edward watching soap operas in the first place, add in watching them with his brother, and Jasper was floored. "Is your brother gay too?"

Edward let out a barking laugh, "No, and if he ever heard you say that he'd pummel you to the ground. He's married. To Rosalie."

"Wait," Jasper thought back to the previous night when Edward had went through his family, "I thought Rosalie was your sister. They're both your siblings?" Jasper tried not to let the horror creep into his voice, but he failed. He felt a little better, though, when Edward started laughing at him.

"We're adopted. No blood."

"Okay, that's slightly less creepy." Still a little creep, he added inwardly.

"Yes," Edward smiled, "You'll meet them someday."

"Really?"

"Yes, but for now I need to get back to work. Can I see you later tonight?" Edward asked.

"What would we do?"

Edward gathered his things, looking at Jasper out of the corner of his eye, "Whatever you want. We can walk in the woods if you'd like."

"Okay. I'll be here."

As soon as the door was closed on Edward, Jasper ran to the window to watch his car pull out. When he realised what he had done, he snorted in disgust. He would have to watch football or something to make up for how lame Edward was making him act.

He couldn't regret it though. It was exciting to feel this way about another person. And judging by the fact that Edward wanted to see him again, he could safely conclude that Edward felt the same. He still had his reservations. But whenever he pictured Edward's face, his reservations flew out the window, and he didn't care about anything except seeing Edward again.

* * *

_Please Review! ~AJ Kelly_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: *Peaks head out from behind pile of books* Hello... anyone still there? So I know it's been forever (months) since I updated this. Sorry. For those who don't read "That which Cannot Remain Silent" then you don't know that I moved to another country and started grad school so I've been busy. But I finally found time to write! Thank you all for reading this story and for all of your reviews. Okay, enough rambling from me. Hope this was worth the months long wait!_

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all recognisable characters, no infringement is intended. Only the plot is mine.

Chapter Three

To Jasper the rest of the afternoon went by too slow. He took a nap, even though he wasn't tired. He ate dinner, even though he wasn't hungry. And he waited for Edward.

Margaret asked him what was wrong, but he didn't want to tell her what he was doing. He thought that she would warn him not to be cruel and play with Edward's heart. Or maybe he was worried that she would be fine with it. He wasn't sure which was worse.

At 6:30 he heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Before his parents could ask him who it was, or even more humiliating, ask Edward in to talk, he grabbed his coat and rushed out the door to meet Edward.

"Hi," he said as soon as Edward had opened the door. Edward shut the car door and looked up at Jasper.

"Hello."

"Ready to walk?" Edward nodded and they walked side by side into the woods behind the house. Once they entered the woods, they began to walk along the edge of the tree line.

"How was the rest of your day?" Edward asked.

"Long," Jasper answered. He pulled his sweater tighter around him, blocking out the light breeze. Briefly he considered putting the jacket on, but with the sun still out, Jasper didn't want to get too hot, or seem like he overreacted to wind.

"Mine too," Edward said. He turned his head to watch Jasper, a small smile playing on his lips.

"What did you do?"

"Oh you know, filled out charts, set a broken arm, told Mrs. O'Neil down the street that yes her husband has to stick to his heart healthy diet and yes I'm aware that the food tastes like shit, no he can't eat a McDonald's burger ever day. The usual." Japer chuckled under his breath and tried to remember who Mrs. O'Neil was. Forks was a small town, and he was convinced he had met everyone even though he couldn't remember anyone's name.

"Which one is Mrs. O'Neil again?" He finally asked after coming up with nothing.

"She's the women who lives across from the church and has the small annoying dog that tries to jump over the fence whenever people pass. The thing causes hell on Sundays." Jasper remembered her now. He especially remembered her dog. His mother felt that it was important for Jasper to make at least one appearance at church. So on Sunday, Jasper reluctantly walked to church with his parents. Jasper hadn't been warned about the dog, though, so when he they walked past the fence and that damned dog jumped up almost to eye level and barked at him, Jasper was scared shitless. He wouldn't walk past the house after that.

"Nice people," Edward continued, "She loves her husband and wants him to be happy. Unfortunately, fast food makes him happy, and she doesn't want to say no to him. She keeps asking if there's something she can put in his food to make it taste like fast food, but still be healthy."

"She probably doesn't appreciate it when you tell her 'fat,' huh," Jasper said. Edward smirked and shook his head.

They fell into silence, walking next to each other, each lost in their own thoughts. Jasper breathed the fresh air, smelling the flowers and trees surrounding them. He loved smelling the cool air and the scents of the forest. It was one of the many things Jasper resented about his illness. He didn't want to lose this feeling, the feeling of being alive and surrounded by the best of nature.

"Jasper?" Edward grasped Jasper's hand to stop him from walking. Jasper tried to pay attention, but all he could focus on was the feeling of Edward's cool hand in his.

"Your hands are cold," Jasper said. He cupped Edward's hand in his own, trying to warm him up.

"Poor circulation. I always have cold hands." Edward's voice was deep and heavy. Jasper looked at Edward, seeing the dark desire in his eyes. Earlier in the kitchen when Edward looked like that, Jasper had been sure that Edward would kiss him. Instead he pulled away and there wasn't another opportunity. Until now.

Before Edward could pull away, Jasper leaned forward and pressed his lips against Edward's. Edward froze against Jasper's assault, but Jasper didn't stop. He tilted his head and opened his lips, trying to deepen the kiss. For a moment, he thought he felt Edward's lips move beneath his, but Edward quickly pushed Jasper away. Jasper tried to kiss him again, but Edward had his hands on his shoulders, holding him away.

Jasper glanced up questioningly at Edward. The kiss had been wonderful; he didn't understand why Edward had pulled away so quickly. His eyes appeared black and his face was strained and tight. Jasper brought his hand to Edward's face and brushed his thumb against his cheek, "Edward, are you okay?"

"I just need to use the restroom," Edward said. His voice sounded odd, cold, and it sent shivers down Jasper's spine. Edward backed away and darted into the forest faster than Jasper thought was possible.

Jasper stood alone in the woods, wondering what had just happened. He couldn't figure out why Edward had acted that way. Had the kiss been that bad? He had thought that Edward was attracted to him, but maybe he just wanted to be his friend. Had Jasper overstepped his boundaries?

After waiting for a few minutes, Jasper sat down on a log. He sighed heavily and leaned his chin on his hand. He wasn't even sure if Edward was still in the woods. All had been silent since Edward had left, and Jasper couldn't imagine anyone being that quiet. Not even a twig snapped, except the ones Jasper stepped on.

"Edward," Jasper called out hesitantly.

"I'm here," Edward said after some time. He sounded fairly close by, so Jasper stood up determined to find him and apologise.

"Where are you?" He walked straight in the direction Edward's voice seemed to come from. He got a few feet before tripping over a hole covered by leaves. Jasper closed his eyes and braced for impact, but instead landed in cold, hard arms. Edward pulled Jasper up against him, and Jasper's breath was taken away from the feel of Edward's chest pressed against his back.

Jasper quickly stepped away, remembering Edward's reaction to the kiss. He didn't want to make Edward uncomfortable or make him leave again. He couldn't explain his attraction to the man. Edward was beautiful, sure, but it was deeper than that. In fact, Edward's beauty nagged at Jasper's mind, he appreciated it, but almost seemed like a warning to stay away. It was Edward himself, how he spoke to Jasper, treated Jasper, that attracted Jasper to him.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked.

"Yes, thank you."

Jasper couldn't seem to look away from Edward. He still felt the adrenaline racing through his veins from his almost fall. Then he realised something, "How did you catch me?"

Edward cocked an eyebrow, "well, I reached out my arms, and— "

"That's not what I meant," Jasper interrupted, "you were far away. I heard you, and your voice was farther away. How did you get here so quickly?"

"I wasn't far away, Jasper, I was just speaking quietly. I was only a few feet away from you and was able to reach you as soon as you tripped."

Jasper wanted to accept that answer, but something about it didn't sound right, "No, the sound wasn't right. You were far away. And I didn't hear you around me."

"It's not important Jasper. I caught you, you're fine, let's continue our walk." Jasper didn't understand why Edward wouldn't tell him the truth. It couldn't be a big deal, he didn't understand Edward's hesitation about telling Jasper what was going on.

"Are you okay?" Jasper asked. Edward had been acting strangely, and it was beginning to unnerve him.

"I'm fine, now."

"Look, I'm sorry that I kissed you. I clearly read the signs wrong, somehow. I won't do it again. You don't have to be mad at me."

"I'm not mad. And…" Edward hesitated before looking Jasper in the eyes, "I did enjoy the kiss. I just… have control… issues. I'm working on them. For you, I'm working on them."

Jasper struggled to understand Edward, but gave up. He nodded and took Edward's hand and began walking again. He couldn't keep the conversation from his mind though, and Jasper's bluntness wouldn't allow him to let Edward off the hook.

"What the hell do you mean when you say 'control issues'? How could kissing be an issue of control?"

Edward halted, and Jasper turned to him. "I can't tell you. Not now."

"Why not?" Jasper insisted, "I want to understand. You liked kissing me, but you need to control yourself before we can kiss again." Edward nodded in affirmative, clearly stressed by this line of questioning. "Okay, but if you need to practice control, shouldn't you practice through experience?" Jasper thought he had finally hit the jackpot with this argument.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if you need to practice control to kiss, shouldn't you kiss to get that control?" As an afterthought, Jasper softly muttered, "Debate that doctor."

He saw the smile flit across Edward's face before he composed himself, "that's not really how it works."

"What? That was a flawless argument. Come on, just tell me what's up."

Edward cupped Jasper's face in his hands. He stepped closer to Jasper and dipped his head down to bury his face into Jasper's neck. Edward breathed in deeply, and Jasper relished in feeling Edward's cold breath on his neck.

"I promise I'll tell you some day Jasper," Edward said into his neck, "But I can't. You're not ready."

"Would you stop talking in fucking riddles?" Jasper muttered. He felt Edward smile into his neck, before Edward pulled away and looked at the sky.

"It's dark," Edward said, "you should go inside. You never know what comes out a night."

Jasper snorted, "Please, the dark doesn't scare me. And I stopped being afraid of owls when I was 12."

"That's not what I meant," Edward said, then paused, "Wait. You were afraid of owls?"

"What? No." Jasper quickly denied. He turned his head to hide the blush spreading on his cheeks.

"What's so scary about owls? They're cute."

Jasper whipped around towards Edward, "What's so scary? That noise they make, fucking horrible."

"The hooting?"

"Yes, the hooting. Like a ghost crying. It scared the shit out of me. And don't even get me started on the huge yellow eyes." Jasper shuttered.

"But owls? Most people are afraid of bats."

"Bats are cute, like little mice who fly. And for the record, I'm not scared of owls, I just have a very healthy respect for them."

"Respect?"

"Yes. Anything that can hunt that quietly and swiftly should be respected."

Edward stumbled and braced himself against Jasper. He smiled at Jasper as he straightened himself and they continued walking.

"But the hooting," Edward said, returning to the conversation.

"Oh, God, the hooting," Jasper said, and he continued relaying the horrors of the owl and other animals that he didn't like, Edward's strange behaviour completely forgotten.

Later that night, though, Jasper couldn't forget the day's events. His inquisitive journalist mind kicked in, and he had to get to the bottom of the mystery. He created a mental list with every weird thing that had happened with Edward. He was always cold, though that could be explained with poor circulation. Really, really poor circulation, Jasper amended with a frown.

Next on the list was that Edward never seemed to eat anything, but with the exception of lunch earlier that day, they had never shared a formal meal. Edward was slim; perhaps he managed that by not eating as much as other people. Or maybe he just wasn't hungry whenever they were together.

He was fast. Inexplicably fast. Jasper knew, though it made absolutely no sense, that Edward had been nowhere near him when he had caught him. There was no rational explanation Jasper could think of that would explain how Edward moved so fast.

Finally, there was the odd behaviour Edward had displayed today. He seemed uncomfortable with the kiss, but said he liked it. And he had reacted to the kiss, even if only momentarily. He always tensed up when he got too close to Jasper, and on some occasions he would literally flee from him, like today.

Jasper even noticed, as outrageous as it was, that Edward's hair seemed to match the odd red that he occasionally saw in the woods outside his window.

Nothing made sense, and Jasper couldn't explain it, which pissed him off. There had never been a story he couldn't uncover, a mystery he couldn't crack, and Edward would be no different. Jasper turned over in his bed and vowed that he would figure Edward out, or die trying.

* * *

"Are you ready Jasper?" His mother's voice rose up the stairs.

No, Jasper though, but he grabbed a hat and went downstairs so they could leave. It was time for his second appointment with Dr. Cullen. Today they would be going over the tests he had done last week. Edward had called the day before to remind Jasper to have someone drive him this time, in case he got sick.

Jasper agreed, and was pleased that he did, because today was a bad day. Even inch of him hurt, his skin tingled and burned with every touch, and nausea assaulted him every time he moved.

Jasper knew that he looked as bad as he felt as soon as Edward saw him. Jasper hated that a concerned frown marred Edward's beautiful face, but he did enjoy that it was there for him. Edward walked up to him and placed a hand on his cheek.

"Are you okay," Edward asked.

"Yeah, just not a good day today."

"If it gets bad let me know."

"Jasper?" Jasper's mother came up behind him and eyed Edward appreciatively.

"Err, mom, this is Dr. Edward Cullen, Dr. Cullen's son. We're um… friends," Jasper said. He didn't know how to introduce Edward to his mother. They hadn't discussed labelling their relationship. It hadn't progressed beyond a few light kisses, and with the limited timetable their relationship was on, boyfriends didn't quite seem right either.

"Hello Edward. It's nice to know that Jasper has made a friend," Margaret said, causing Jasper to blush. It was like he was back in elementary school, bringing a friend home to play for the first time.

"Mrs. Whitlock, it's nice to meet you properly. I've seen you around, but we've never been introduced." Edward placed a hand Jasper's lower back out of the sight of Jasper's mother.

"Oh call me Margaret, dear."

"Margaret," Edward smiled, "I wish we could talk more, but I need to take Jasper back."

Edward led Jasper back to the same room he had been in before. Jasper sat on the patient seat and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. He tried to breathe deeply and control the pain throbbing through his body. He sighed in relief when he felt Edward's cool hand on his forehead.

"Are you sure you're okay, Jasper?"

"Do I look that bad?" Jasper asked, trying to relieve the tension in the room.

"You look like you're in pain."

Jasper let out a bitter laugh, "My body is collapsing in on itself, so yeah, I'm in pain," he immediately regretted his harsh words when he saw the anguish in Edward's eyes. He quickly tried to assure him and see his eyes sparkle again, "but I've had worse, Edward. I'm fine now. I'll be fine."

Edward studied Jasper for several moments before opening his mouth to speak, but at that moment Carlisle knocked on the door and stuck his head in.

"Afternoon Jasper. How are you today?"

"Sucky. And you?" Carlisle chuckled and took out his chart.

"I've been better Jasper. We should get started, there's a lot to talk about today. I know your mother brought you here today, would you like her to sit in on our discussion?"

"No. No, this is my decision. My mom doesn't need any more guilt about what happens to me. I'll let her know later what we talk about."

"That's fine. I thought it might be more comfortable if we discussed this in my office. Would that be okay with you?"

Jasper agreed and Carlisle led him towards his office. As they walked away, Jasper stole a backward glance at Edward, who had headed back to the reception room to see another patient. Jasper wanted Edward in the room, he wanted the comfort and acceptance that Edward gave. Mostly though, no matter how much he didn't want his mother to be burdened with this, Jasper didn't want to do this alone.

"Right in here," Carlisle held open the door to his office and motioned to the seats in front of his desk. Carlisle sat down and opened Jasper's file. He looked up at Jasper, and Jasper knew it wasn't good news. He wasn't expecting good news, but there was still that little sliver of hope that maybe he would get better. That hope was lost.

"It's not good, Jasper," Carlisle said, the regret evident in his eyes.

"I assumed as much." Jasper tried to sound brave and kept his voice as steady as he possible could.

Carlisle looked down and read the chart again, "The cancer has spread too far. I could give you chemo, but I honestly don't think, at this stage, that it would do any good. It would just put you through more pain without any results."

"How long?" Jasper asked. He just wanted the facts. The room was getting very hot and he was having trouble breathing.

"Weeks. A month or two tops. I'll support you if you want to fight Jasper, but in my professional opinion, you'll have a better quality of life this way. It's up to you."

Jasper closed his eyes, trying to focus on the conversation. "I just—" Jasper took a ragged breath and composed himself, "Thank you Carlisle. You haven't told me anything my body hasn't already said. I just want to live my last few weeks as normally as I can." Jasper squeezed his eyes shut, "Can I step outside for a moment?"

"Of course." Carlisle led Jasper to the backdoor. Jasper collapsed on the back step as soon as Carlisle was gone. Jasper stared out at the trees surrounding the back to the hospital. He idly wondered if it was the same stretch of forest around his own home. In a sentimental way, Jasper liked that idea. The forest connected him to Edward even when Edward wasn't with him. But thoughts of Edward brought his mind back to his conversation with Carlisle.

He had known this would happen. There wasn't any reason that the news should shock him, but hearing it, and hearing that this time chemo would no longer work, seemed so finite. Jasper thought he had prepared himself, but deep down he knew that he would give anything to have his life back.

There was so much he would miss when he was gone. His friends, family, work, walking outside, having a warm cup of tea when he wanted to warm up, feeling those first tinges of love. Edward.

He had just found Edward. How cruel could life be? How could he find the one person he could see himself with, only to lose him weeks later. He wanted to spend time getting to know Edward, he wanted to go on vacations with him, have family meals, buy a house, grow old together… Jasper had resigned himself to a fate of early death, but that was before he had found something to live for.

The door behind him opened, but Jasper didn't look up. He didn't need to. Edward sat down next to Jasper and put his arm around him. Without needing any encouragement, Jasper dove into the security of Edward's arms, finally letting the tears out.

"I don't want to die," Jasper cried into Edward's shoulder, "I thought I was ready, I thought I was okay, but I'm not. I don't want to leave."

"Jasper," Edward whispered, "I won't let you leave me. I finally found you, and I won't let you leave. You're mine; you're going to stay with me. I promise."

Jasper stayed there in Edward's arms, drawing strength and comfort from the one person he truly believed could save him.

* * *

_Interlude_

He raced through the woods, having just run to Canada, hunted, and run back in a desperate attempt to relieve the stress and foreign emotions rolling around within him. Despite his hunt, he felt the pressure on his heart. As soon as Jasper had left the office, Carlisle had let Edward off, knowing he wouldn't be able to work on anything else.

It just wasn't fair. Edward had been waiting for him, loving Jasper before Jasper even knew Edward existed. When Alice had first seen a vision of Jasper five years ago, Edward was determined to strike out by himself and track Jasper down. His family had convinced him to wait, though. Alice had convinced him that timing was important.

So Edward waited, every day for five years thinking about the man that was his future and waiting for him to find him. Alice never had another vision of Jasper.

Two weeks ago the family had been sitting in the living room, when Alice shot up from her book and dazed off into space. Edward watched the vision take form: Edward, Carlisle, and another man—_Jasper_—speaking in one of the hospital rooms.

"He's coming," Alice said into the silence of the room.

"Who the hell is she talking about?" Emmett asked. He winced when Rosalie and Esme scolded him for swearing,

"Jasper," Alice breathed. Her eyes went wide with excitement, but Edward couldn't share in the mood. The vision took place in a hospital room, why would he be meeting his mate in a hospital room?

That question was answered the next day when Margaret Whitlock called the practice to set up an appointment for her son, Jasper, who was sick with terminal cancer.

Edward had held out hope though. Perhaps there was a chance that Jasper would recover. That he could live his life with Edward by his side. But now that he knew that wasn't an option, Edward knew what he had to do.

But what if Jasper didn't want it? Jasper didn't know what Edward was, but he knew that something was different about him. It was time for Edward to tell him, Jasper deserved to know his options.

But Edward wasn't able to answer one question: when Jasper knew what Edward was, would he let Edward save him?

* * *

_So was it worth waiting for? Hopefully this answered any lingering questions about Edward, but there's still the question of what Jasper will say. _

_Until next time! ~AJ Kelly_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Hello again! You get another chapter relatively soon since you all waited so patiently for the last chapter. Sorry for any spelling errors, I'm a little under the weather today so... Enjoy! _

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all recognisable characters, no infringement is intended. Only the plot is mine.

Chapter Four

After Jasper calmed down, Edward had let him back into the hospital to Carlisle's office. He left to allow Jasper and Carlisle to talk, and Jasper hadn't seen him since then. During this trying time, Jasper itched to have Edward near him.

Jasper decided to continue with chemo, if only for his parents. He knew that they wouldn't want him to give up, regardless of how tired he was. Carlisle set up a chemo routine that Jasper would start the next week. They both agreed that the treatment wouldn't be aggressive. If Jasper was to die, he wanted to die after enjoying himself, but he wasn't ready to give up. He left it up to fate, if there was improvement, great. If not, he would have enough energy to enjoy the people he loved before he died.

The ride home was quiet. Jasper was too caught up in his thoughts and Margaret didn't press him to talk. When she stopped the car, Jasper grabbed her wrist to stop her from getting out.

"Tonight after dinner there's something I need to talk to you and dad about."

"Can't you just tell me now, Jasper?" Margaret said. Her voice was heavy and her eyes filled with tears.

"I'd rather just do this once. Is that okay mom?"

Margaret nodded and stifled a sob. She quickly escaped into the house and Jasper followed her slowly. He got to the porch, but was stopped by his mother's sobs from the kitchen. He couldn't open the door and follow his mother in there, so instead he walked into the woods.

He didn't know how long he stayed in the woods, wondering how he would tell his parents, before he heard his father's car pull up. He took several deep breaths and walked into the house trying to prepare himself for what was to come.

Robert was in the kitchen, holding Margaret tightly in his arms, rubbing her back as he whispered into her ear. He smiled weakly at Jasper, before kissing Margaret's cheek and releasing her.

"Are we ready to eat?" Robert asked.

"Of course," Margaret said brightly, though Jasper could hear the barely concealed sadness behind her voice, "I have chicken and potatoes ready. Jasper, why don't you set the table, and Robert, get drinks for everyone. I'll dish out the food and we can have a nice family meal."

"Sure mom," Jasper said. He got the silverware from the kitchen and went into the dining room and started to set the table. Robert came in with glasses and set them on the table.

"Are you okay Jasper?" Robert asked.

"No, but I will be," Jasper answered honestly. Robert nodded and suddenly Jasper was engulfed in his father's arms.

"We're here for you son. Whatever you do, your mother and I just want you to be happy."

"I know," Jasper whispered. He felt the tears threatening to escape and buried his face in his father's neck. He smelled the deep, smoky smell that he used to love as a child. He remembered when his father would take him fishing, and even though Jasper got bored, he always wanted to go just to spend an entire day with his dad.

Would he ever get a chance to go fishing with his dad again? Would they ever spend an entire day alone, just talking about family and work? Jasper hugged his father tighter before pulling away when he heard his mother in the doorway. Jasper wiped his eyes with his sleeve before he facing his mother

"It smells good mom," Jasper said, sitting at the table.

"Well it's cooking, not rocket science," Margaret joked. She smiled and leaned over to Jasper and loudly whispered, "But don't tell your father. He gets frustrated that he can't boil pasta."

Jasper choked on the sip of water he had just taken, "Really dad? Pasta? That must be the easiest thing to make. Just boil that water, put the pasta in and wait."

"That's enough from you boy," Richard grumbled, "can't take my side on anything, huh?"

"I'd like to dad, but you see, I can make pasta. And I would have to agree with mom that cooking, while frustrating and occasionally tricky, is certainly not rocket science."

"That's not what you said when I was teaching you how to grill."

"I was six dad, everything was rocket science to me. You need a better comeback than that."

Richard muttered under his breath as Jasper and Margaret made fun of him for the rest of the meal. After they cleaned up, Jasper asked if his parents would meet him in the living room.

And there he sat, waiting for his parents, wondering how the conversation would go. They knew what he was going to tell them, that much was obvious. But knowing and _knowing_ were different things. How did a child tell his parents he would die soon? Children weren't supposed to die before their parents, and Jasper would have given anything to save his parents from this pain.

Jasper still didn't have the answers when his parents sat down in front of him. He clenched his hands and plunged in, "I spoke with Dr. Cullen today, and he told me what I pretty much already knew." He stopped and looked up at his parents. They both had tears in their eyes, but they stayed silent, waiting for Jasper to continue.

"The cancer has spread. It's too far for him to reasonably do anything about. I'm going to continue with chemo, I won't sit down and let it take me, but it's going to be light and it's not likely that it will make a difference. I just don't want to be sick in my last moments."

"Did Dr. Cullen tell you how long?" Margaret asked.

"A few weeks. Maybe a month tops," Jasper answered quietly. His mother broke down then, launching herself into Jasper's arms and clutching him close to her.

"But there's still a chance," She cried, "There's a chance that you could get better. There's always a chance."

"Mom," Jasper said, trying to contain his tears. His mind raced as he tried to think of how to calm Margaret. "I'll try, I promise. I don't want to die. I just… I just want you to prepare. It's less likely that I'll get better. The cancer has spread too far. All we're doing now is buying time."

"Are you sure son?" Richard asked.

"I feel tired dad. I can feel my body slowly shutting down. I'll try, I will. But I don't know how much energy I have left." Richard nodded and moved to embrace his son and wife.

"I told you Jasper, we just want you to be happy. If you aren't happy, if you're tired, stop. We will love and support whatever you do. Don't worry about us, worry about yourself. Whatever happens we're a family, and we'll always love you, whether you're with us or not."

Hours later, Jasper stood at his bedroom window trying to calm himself after the conversation. His parents were still downstairs, quietly comforting each other. Jasper was glad that they would have each other, but he desperately wished he had someone to comfort him.

He wanted Edward.

At that thought, something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. There in the forest was the mysterious red. Without thinking Jasper ran outside, grabbing a coat on his way out. He raced into the woods, frantically looking around to spot what the red was.

He was almost to the spot where he kept seeing it. Once he reached the area he stopped, confused by what he saw.

"Edward?"

Edward smiled hesitantly at Jasper, "Hi Jasper."

Jasper was stunned and waited for Edward to explain why he was lurking in the woods outside his house, but Edward just continued to smile. Edward ran his hand through his hair, drawing Jasper's attention and that's when he noticed.

"It's you?" Jasper asked, shocked.

"What's me?" Edward frowned.

"The red I keep seeing outside my window. It's you. The red is the same colour as your hair."

"Well… um," Edward hesitated. "Yeah, it was me."

"Why are you creeping outside my house?" Jasper didn't know how to feel about this. He had thought it would be a new bird or strange animal. Not the man he was fascinated with. And why the hell was Edward doing it?

"Well, I was… watching you."

"Watching me? Jasper tried not to freak out, while wondering if Edward was stalking him.

"Yeah. Look I know it sounds weird," Edward said.

"Yeah-huh."

"But I wasn't trying to be creepy. I was just checking on you." Edward insisted.

"But I saw you the first night I was here. Why were you outside my house when I didn't know you?"

Edward sighed and ran his hand through his hair again, "That one's a little harder to explain."

"Try." Jasper sat down on a log and crossed his legs. He waited for Edward to explain.

"You aren't going to believe me," Edward warned.

"Tell me anyway. I need to know why you've been watching me from the woods outside my house."

Edward winced, "When you say it that way you make it sound like I'm outside stalking you, jacking off in the woods, and thinking homicidal thoughts."

"You gotta admit that's exactly what this looks like."

"Yes, but that's not what I'm doing. Honestly, I just make sure you're all right. And it's nice to see you on the days we haven't been able to see each other. That's the only reason come. I just want to see you and protect you," Edward insisted.

"Fine," Jasper tentatively relented, "assuming I accept that for tonight's appearance, why were you here the first night? We didn't know each other then."

"But I knew you," Edward whispered.

Jasper gasped, "What do you mean."

Edward walked over to Jasper and kneeled in front of him. Edward took both of his hands in his, and brushed the pads of his thumbs over Jasper's wrists. "My sister is psychic. She sees the future. She told me about you."

Jasper scoffed and ripped his hands away from Edward's. "How fucking dumb do you think I am? What a load of bullshit. Just tell me the fucking truth."

"That is the truth Jasper. She told me you were coming and I wanted to see you. I've wanted to meet you ever since she saw us together five years ago. As soon as I knew you were here, that you had come to me, I had to see you. After that I couldn't stop. I'm drawn to you. My day isn't complete until I see you." Edward tried to grab Jasper's hand and keep him close, but Jasper quickly backed away.

"How the hell and I supposed to believe that? I'm not even sure I believe in a god, why should I believe your sister is a fucking psychic. I don't believe in psychics. Just tell me the truth. Please Edward, what's so bad that you're lying to me? Just tell me. Please," Jasper begged.

"Alice _is_ psychic. I can prove it Jasper. My family is… different. Alice is psychic, and I can read minds."

That was the end for Jasper, now he was getting pissed. "What the hell Edward. Do you honestly expect me to believe this? Fine, play your fucking game. I'm gonna give you ten seconds. If you aren't gone by then I'm calling the cops. I don't want to see you, I don't want to talk to you, I don't even want to hear your name, got it?"

"Please Jasper don't. Give me a chance to show you—" Edward raced forward, trying to wrap his arm around Jasper's waist. Jasper kicked his way free, despite how difficult it was to free himself from Edward's iron grip.

"No. No, I'm not going to give you a fucking chance. What were you planning? What is this? What were you gaining from this? Poor little sick boy, I'm gonna weave a little tale; make him think that someone could possible love him before he dies? Well fuck you. Get out." Jasper turned around so Edward couldn't see the tears in his eyes. Moments ago he had wanted Edward to comfort him about his parents. He had longed for Edward's arms to be around him, his lips to move against his. Now the idea of Edward's cold body made him sick.

Edward was a liar. A crazy liar. Jasper didn't know if he should call the cops or the hospital to get Edward admitted.

"My father would just get me out anyway," Edward said.

Jasper whirled around and his eyes narrowed at Edward, "What?"

"If you were to admit me to a psych hospital," Edward replied casually. With each step he took closer, Jasper's eyes went wider, "my father would just release me."

_I didn't say that out loud, did I?_ Jasper was fairly convinced that he had thought that.

"No, you didn't," Edward said.

Jasper was finding it hard to breathe, _What the hell is going on?_

"I told you I could read minds. I'm proving to you that I was telling the truth."

_This is a dream. It's a weird dream that I'll wake up from at any second._ Jasper squeezed his eyes shut and pinched his arm. He opened his eyes but Edward was still there.

"I'm not a dream. Jasper listen to me," Edward cupped Jasper's face between his hands and brought them close to each other, "You can think anything, I'll hear it. My sister, Alice, is psychic and probably saw this moment coming. I'm not lying to you. I could never lie to you Jasper. I will never intentionally hurt you. Please believe me."

Jasper wasn't quite ready to throw all of his beliefs out the window though. He had watched so-called psychics perform cold readings on people. He wasn't completely convinced that this wasn't what Edward was doing. He had to rule out guesswork. _If this is real, then I can test you, correct?_

Edward nodded.

Jasper tried to think of the most obscure thing he possibly could. One moment that popped into his head was when he was eight and had first discovered _Star Wars_.He was a Jedi for Halloween, and he loved his costume so much that his mother couldn't get him to take it off for a week. One of those days his mother went grocery shopping and had reluctantly taken Jedi Jasper with her. After they had been shopping for about half an hour, his mother was trying to get something from the top shelf and a rude man had bumped her, knocking her to the ground. He hadn't apologised, and Jasper immediately defended his mother's honour by running after the guy and hitting him with his light saber.

Edward's chuckling brought Jasper out of the memory. Edward's shining brown eyes stared into Jasper's. "For what it's worth, I'd let you defend me. Though I'm much more interested in what adult Jedi Jasper would be wearing under his robes."

Jasper pulled away trying to contain his horror, "What are you?" He gasped.

"Don't you know?" Edward asked.

Jasper shook his head, "All I can think of is some genetic problem. Is there something wrong with your brain? But that doesn't explain all the other weird things about you."

"I'm sure I should be offended by that, but what other weird things are you talking about?"

"You're always cold. Even when I gave you my sweater at the theatre my sweater was cold when I got it back. No circulation issues affect the whole body to that extent. And then there's the fact that you don't eat anything. I've never seen you drink so much as a glass of water. And you're fast. Too fast to be normal. So what are you?" Jasper backed away, putting some much-needed distance between himself and Edward.

He knew that whatever Edward was about to tell him wasn't going to be good. He wished that it had been the easy explanation that Edward was a stalker. That would have been preferable to finding out that Edward was a freaky genetic mutation… _or worse._

_But what could possible be worse than this?_ He thought.

"A lot could be worse than this Jasper," Edward said quietly. He started towards Jasper, but when Jasper stepped back, Edward stopped and instead settled on piercing Jasper's soul with his eyes.

"There's a whole world out there that throws in the face of everything you've ever known. Everything you thought you knew about the world, about the process of life, about science, about the soul. There are things that don't belong in this world that, regardless, walk among humanity, invisible. To know this world is to forget everything you thought you ever knew."

"Edward, you're scaring me," Jasper whispered. He didn't understand what Edward was trying to say. Was he talking about ghosts? Heaven and Hell?

"More than that, Jasper. Regardless of whether you believe in heaven and hell, there is tangible evil walking on this earth. I should know."

"How?"

Edward turned away from Jasper, "I've seen it. I've walked among them. I've been them."

"Edward what are you talking about?" Jasper wasn't sure if he could take Edward's riddles anymore. Whatever it was, Edward didn't want to say anything, but Jasper wasn't going to drop this conversation until he had answers. "I don't understand what you're trying to tell me. Are you saying you're evil? Because despite you're creepy stalker tendencies, I have a hard time believing that you're evil."

Edward whipped around and Jasper saw that his eyes had darkened. His beautiful honey eyes had turned black. With his eyes like that, Jasper could very well believe that Edward had the capacity for evil.

"That's the way you're supposed to feel. I lure you in, I intrigue you, and then I kill you. That's how this works. I don't like it, what I am. But I suppose if I wasn't this, then I wouldn't have met you. So perhaps it has it's benefits."

"Just tell me, Edward. I won't freak out, I promise. I just need answers. Your behaviour has been so weird, and now I find out you've been watching me from my window to protect me, your sister is psychic, and you can read minds. I just don't know what to do with this Edward. I need you to help me put the pieces together." Jasper gathered all his courage and took a step forward. This seemed to encourage Edward and he rushed to gather Jasper in his arms.

"You're safer if you never know about my world, if you never become a part of it. That's how I always meant it to be. You would stay the same, the perfect way you were created. And then when you died… But I didn't know that I would barely get to know you. There's just not enough time, and the only way I can keep you is to…" Edward trailed off, instead burying his nose into Jasper's neck and taking a deep breath.

"Please tell me Edward," Jasper whispered into Edward's hair.

Edward muttered into Jasper's neck, but Jasper couldn't understand what he said. He pulled Edward away and caught his eye. "I didn't catch that."

"I'm a vampire."

That was the last thing Jasper heard before he fainted.

* * *

Jasper woke up in his bed with the sun shining in his eyes. Something tugged at his mind, something important that he should be remembering, but he couldn't think of what it was. He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, looking around his room.

That's when he noticed that his jacket, which usually was on the floor, was neatly hung in his closet. He didn't remember hanging up his jacket. That seemed remarkably uncharacteristic of him. Even more, he realised, he didn't remember undressing last night. Why couldn't he remember?

And that's when he remembered. Edward and the red in the forest, confronting him and discovering that it had been him the whole time, the fights and disbelief, Edward's psychic sister, and Edward's reading minds. And then the holy grail of revelations: Edward being a vampire.

Jasper wasn't sure what to do with that. His first instinct was to call the cops and the hospital. Clearly Edward needed mental help. But he agreed with Edward's assessment: Carlisle would just release him.

It was crazy. Absolutely nuts. Vampires didn't exist. Just like faeries, unicorns, leprechauns, Zeus, and every other mythological creature didn't exist. But Jasper hadn't believed in psychics and people who read minds before last night, and loath as he was to admit it, Edward had been able to read his mind.

So did that mean he was also a vampire? Clearly he wouldn't lie about that if he didn't lie about the mind reading. Jasper had to come to the conclusion that Edward was a vampire. Or at least thought he was.

Then he remembered that Carlisle had many of the same 'symptoms' as Edward. He was also freezing cold. And both were ungodly pale. Was Carlisle also a vampire? Did Edward live in a family of vampires? That didn't sound particularly safe for the surrounding human population.

But what about all the things people said about Vampires? Jasper had read _Dracula_ and seen "Lost Boys". Vampires slept during the day and were creatures of the night. They had fangs. Jasper was pretty sure that when he had his tongue in Edward's mouth, there had been no fangs. Were they retractable? Or just really, really sharp canine teeth?

And why hadn't Edward killed him? He had kissed him, touched him, had been so gentle with him. There was nothing to suggest that Edward ever wanted to hurt Jasper. He had said as much. Edward had wanted to protect Jasper.

He knew he should talk to Edward about this, but he couldn't gather the courage. While he wasn't afraid of Edward, his entire worldview and been turned on its head, and Edward played a very large part in that. He wasn't ready to see him until he was absolutely sure of how he felt about it.

If Edward were a vampire… so what? It wouldn't change who he was. Jasper had a disease consuming his body; surely he could look past someone's appearance to see who he was as a person. Edward was able to.

Edward was a vampire, yet Jasper still wanted to know him. What danger did he pose? Jasper would be dead in weeks anyway, what could Edward do to him that his body wasn't already succeeding at?

It was odd to think about: Edward's life was immortal, while Jasper's was outrageously mortal. Edward was infinite and Jasper was finite. In the scope of Edward's life, Jasper would be a drop in the bucket, a blip in his timeline.

As horrifying as all this was, Jasper still needed to see Edward. He wanted explanations, he wanted understanding. Mostly, he wanted Edward.

He got out of bed, determined to find where Edward lived and confront him. It briefly crossed his mind that perhaps entering a house of vampires was not the wisest of things, but he pushed it away. It was the only thing he could do. He didn't have Edward's number, so had no other way to contact him.

As he thought that, he looked at his bed stand and saw a piece of paper that had not been there before. Instantly knowing it was from Edward, he picked it up and read the note:

_Jasper,_

_You fainted in the woods, so I brought you to your room. Your parents have no knowledge of my visit, so you do not need to fear any questions from them. Please call me when you wake. Regardless of whether you wish to see me again or not, I would like to make sure that you are okay._

_Yours, Edward_

Beneath his name was Edward's phone number. Jasper immediately grabbed his cell phone from the table and punched in Edward's number. He hesitated for only a moment before pressing the call button.

"Jasper," Edward's voice through the phone calmed Jasper in a way he was sure was unnatural.

"Erm, hi. I just saw your note and called to let you know that I'm fine. A little shocked, but fine." Jasper rubbed his hand over his head, feeling the bristles of hair beginning to grow back.

"Are you really okay? I'd understand if you're not. I wasn't going to tell you so soon, but time…"

"Yeah." Jasper was silent, and noticed that he didn't hear Edward breathing over the phone. Of course he wouldn't be, the dead don't need to breathe. "I just… you're not breathing Edward. You don't need to breathe. What do you eat? People? Oh God, Edward, do you eat people?"

Edward laughed, "No I don't eat people. My family and I live off animals. We find it more humane that way and it's easier to live with what we are if no one beside ourselves suffer for it."

"But what about the sun? Don't you burn?"

"No, no burning in the sun. We're sensitive to the sun, so usually we try to avoid it and prolonged exposure will cause our skin to boil. And it can potentially lead to our death. But that's why we live here. Hardly any sun, and when there is it isn't very strong."

Jasper tried to think of any other question he could possibly have. There were so many, but some of them, like Edward's age and life story, didn't seem appropriate to talk about over the phone. But there was one thing that he had to clarify.

"So you're immortal?" He didn't know why this question was the most important. Something deep in his being had to know the answer to this question.

"Yes," Edward's voice was quiet.

Jasper didn't understand his feelings about the answer. Usually he was good with emotions, always able to tell what he or someone else was feeling. This time though, his own emotions were too complex for even him to understand. Fear was definitely prominent, but something else, something he could only understand as happiness, relief, and expectance, was also there. And he didn't know why.

"I still have questions. I just don't think we should discuss them over the phone."

"Of course."

"Can I see you?" Jasper breathed.

"Tonight? My world basically revolves around you now, so whenever you want to meet…" Add that to the list of things they were going to talk about, Jasper thought, mentally starting to create a list.

"Okay, pick me up at 5? We can go to a park and sit and talk."

"Jasper, are you sure about this?"

No, but Jasper wasn't sure of anything anymore. "Yes. I'll see you at 5."

He hung up and flopped back onto the bed. He couldn't stop wondering what he was getting himself into. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't find it in himself to regret it.

* * *

_A/N: Hope you all aren't too disappointed about the way Jasper reacted to Edward's news. But honestly, what rational human would take that news well? A freak out was unavoidable. I always thought that Bella's reaction in the books was ridiculous. So here's mine._

_Oh, and about the sparkling. To me, a vampire that sparkles immediately loses all sex appeal. So my vampires don't sparkle, they're just sensitive to the sun. Really, really sensitive. _

_Until next time! AJ Kelly_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Hello all! I hope you all had a happy holiday. I was going to try to get this out before Christmas, but obviously that didn't happen. At least you didn't have to wait forever though! (I honestly don't know why you guys put up with me. I try to have a regular updating schedule but it always gets shot to hell.) Anyway, here's the new chapter. Just a heads up, I made my own history for Edward. SM's didn't really work for my Edward, plus I wanted to make my Edward 10 years older than canon to fit Jasper's age better. Hope this doesn't put anyone off too much._

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all recognisable characters, no infringement is intended. Only the plot is mine.

Chapter Five

Jasper was waiting nervously by the door pacing back and forth when Edward finally arrived. A thousand questions had been running through his mind all day long. About halfway through the day Jasper had started writing his questions down so he wouldn't forget them. He had an extensive list now and it kept growing.

He didn't race out the door this time. Instead, Jasper watched Edward from the door window waiting for him to make any sudden movements. Like suddenly rushing the house, fangs first, to eliminate all witnesses.

As soon as Jasper had the thought, Edward's head whipped towards the window to glare at Jasper. Jasper tried to smile apologetically, but he couldn't quite pull it off.

_Sorry. But I just had to make sure._ Jasper thought. Edward slowly nodded and beckoned him towards the car. Jasper hesitated but took a deep breath and opened the door. _Point of no return. _

"Are you okay?" Edward asked as he climbed out of the car.

"I'm fine," Jasper said. He tried to put on a brave face, but faltered when he got to the car. He couldn't decide if he should be safe and sit in the back seat—away from the man who believed that he drinks blood for sustenance—or if he should trust Edward and sit in the front seat… within grabbing distance.

"I'm not going to eat you, Jasper," Edward growled.

"I know," Jasper lied. Then just to show Edward that he was trying to trust him, Jasper yanked open the passenger side door and threw himself into the car before he could think too hard. Edward was much smoother, sliding into the car gracefully.

"Where would you like to go?" Edward asked quietly. Jasper had the feeling that Edward was trying to keep him as calm as possible, and Jasper appreciated that.

"The park would be fine."

"Where there're witnesses?" Edward questioned coldly.

"I never said that. I didn't even think it." Jasper defended himself. Sure, it sounded reasonable, but people being were there wasn't important. Jasper just knew that he would be calmer in the park. If things got too complicated he could watch the trees or the birds.

"No. That's my thought."

"What?" Jasper asked, confused.

"I don't want to hurt you. And while I don't want to think that I could ever harm you, this is going to be a difficult discussion and I don't want my emotions to overcome my reason. So I want other people around."

"That's not necessary Edward," Jasper tried to assure Edward, "You haven't hurt me so far, I don't think you're capable of hurting me. I trust you. We just need to talk about your… condition," Jasper finished lamely. Edward rolled his eyes and snorted at Jasper's proclamation.

"Condition. That's a polite name for it."

"Well it is a condition. Because it's not who you are, it's just a small part of you. Like my cancer is just a part of me, but it doesn't define me. It's just something that is. Cancer is my condition. And…" Jasper trailed off. He knew that to make his point he had to say the word, but his rational mind protested against it. It was too unreal, too unbelievable, for him to shrug off lightly.

"Are you sure Edward?" Jasper questioned, needing to hear it one more time. He didn't think Edward was crazy, if he said he was… well, _that_… then he'd believe him. Mostly.

"Yes Jasper. I'm sure that I'm a vampire. You admitted that you knew there was something wrong with me. I know it's unbelievable but I'm honestly a vampire."

"Okay. Okay. I guess I don't need any more proof," Jasper said. There really wasn't anything more that Edward could do; it was only Jasper's mind refusing to believe what it had seen.

"Really?" Edward asked degradingly. "Because I think I could easily demand more proof."

"I might still ask you to do something. But it won't help if I can't find it in myself to believe it. And honestly, Edward, how am I supposed to believe this?"

"I'll do whatever you want but I can't make you believe me. Just know, though, that I would never lie to you."

"Then there's that," Jasper said. "You say things like that and I don't understand what you mean. We've just met."

Edward sighed and opened the car door, making Jasper realise that they had reached the park. He quickly got out of the car and followed Edward over to the picnic tables. They sat on one of the tabletop and quietly watched the kids playing on the playground for a few minutes before Edward spoke.

"I was born Ireland in 1822. I had a big family; there were five of us kids. Three girls and then there was my youngest brother and me. I try and I try, but I just can't remember their names anymore," Edward faltered and Jasper was barely able to hear Edward when he whispered the last part. Jasper reached out and grasped Edward's cold hand. Edward squeezed Jasper's hand and then continued. "We were poor, but so was anyone else so I never noticed.

I was working as a labourer when the Great Famine hit. My family was too poor to immigrate to America with five children, so we waited it out. We never thought it would last so long or that so many people would die. Three years into the famine my youngest sister died. I can remember that she was nine. After her death my parents decided to sell all we had and go to America. I was the oldest at twenty-six and though I didn't make a lot of money as a labourer, I had enough to support myself, and a little extra for the family.

I decided to stay behind. It'd save my parents the extra mouth to feed and support and I'd try to send them my extra money. It was a tearful goodbye, but we promised that I'd try to come over after we were settled and had some money. That was the last time I saw them.

I got sick a year later; my official date of death is March 23rd, 1849. Carlisle found me sick on the street. He was a doctor at the local hospital and we occasionally spoke at the pub. He knew I loved music, even though I couldn't read a note. Sometimes he would tell me about the places he had been and he told me that someday I could see the things that he had seen. I wanted to believe him, he made me dream about what my life could become. Of course during the walk home I would admit that it would never happen for me. But Carlisle was a fascinating mystery to me.

I don't remember what happened after he found me. I know I was dying. I hadn't eaten in weeks, I was too sick to pay my rent and was kicked out on the street. I was sick and freezing to death. Then I heard a kind voice calling my name. It asked if I wanted to be saved. Even in my delirious state I knew that I didn't want to die, and suddenly my body was on fire.

I woke up three days later and Carlisle took me hunting. He showed me his lifestyle and soon we left Ireland. I've travelled everywhere with him and never once regretted my decision. Until I met you." Edward's monologue ended and he looked up at Jasper.

"Why until me?" Jasper whispered.

"Because you're mortal. I always assumed that when I found my mate that it would be another vampire. I never thought I'd find you."

Jasper sympathised with Edward, but he was caught up on one word, "Mate?"

Edward's eyes widened and Jasper got the feeling that he hadn't meant for that to slip out. Edward hesitated, "All vampires have a mate, the one they are meant to be with forever. And… you're mine. I don't know how I know, but when I look at you, when I touch you, I feel it deep within me. My body hums for you, my mind seeks you wherever I go."

That wasn't what Jasper wanted to hear. He wanted Edward to like him and maybe even lust after him, but he didn't want Edward to love him. If Edward loved him, he would only get his heart – his immortal heart – broken. Jasper didn't need more guilt on his shoulders.

"Can vampires have two mates?" Jasper asked.

"I'm sure it's possible, though every vampire I know only has the one. When they lose their mate, no one else can take the place of their lost mate." Edward lifted his hand to Jasper's face and traced his jawbone. "I knew about you five years ago and have waited and loved you ever since. Every way that I imagined you is nothing compared to how wonderful you truly are." Edward's hand moved to the back of Jasper's neck.

"Edward," Jasper moaned, trying to get his attention. Edward ignored him and brought his other hand up to wrap around Jasper's neck.

"Do you know how wonderful it is to touch you? I have waited 161 years to feel you beneath my fingertips. You're so warm and soft. You're so perfect," Edward whispered.

"Edward, wait," Jasper tried to stop him. He didn't want Edward to get in too deep and have regrets.

"I'll never regret knowing you Jasper," Edward growled. To prove his point, Edward crushed their lips together and all of Jasper's protests were lost. Instead he tasted Edward and decided that the feel of Edward's lips moving across his was the greatest feeling in the world. Edward parted his lips and swept his tongue across Jasper's lips before he pulled away and leaned his forehead against Jasper's.

"I want more, but I have to learn to control myself first," Edward whispered. Jasper let his lust overcome him for one more moment as he leaned back in to capture Edward's lips in a quick kiss.

"Practice makes perfect." Edward nodded adamantly and Jasper pulled Edward closer for another kiss. Jasper opened his mouth, inviting Edward to taste him and grow used to him. Edward groaned when their tongues touched and tangled with each other.

Before the kiss could go further they broke away, panting, because both knew that neither was ready for what would happen if they continued.

"Tell me more," Jasper asked to distract both of them.

"What do you want to know?"

"Do you have fangs?" It was the first question that popped into his head. Jasper looked up at Edward's mouth and tried to see a hint of fangs beneath his lips.

"Kind of. They lengthen when I need them and retract when I want them too. It helps us blend in with you humans."

"And no dying when you hit the sun? No coffins?"

"Nope. Like I said, we're just sensitive to sun but it won't instantly kill us. And we don't need coffins because we don't sleep. There's no need to."

"And you drink?' Jasper asked again. He knew that Edward had told him before, but he needed to assure himself of the answer.

"Animals. No humans, only animals. We don't want what we are to harm others. It isn't something we could control, it would be cruel of us to make other's suffer as we have."

"How do you live? Where do you live?"

"Well we can't stay someplace for very long because people start to become suspicious. As a result I've lived on all continents and I assume that at some point I would have called ever country home. Except for the hot ones. We just visit those."

"And your family are all like you?"

"Yes. We were all turned by Carlisle except for Alice who came to us 50 years ago. I'm the oldest in our family beside Carlisle."

Jasper looked back and the playground as he processed everything Edward had told him. He had begrudgingly admitted that he had to trust Edward. Everything added up to him telling the truth. That meant that Jasper had to rethink his entire life. What else was true? Unicorns? And not just mutant cows or other one-horned animals, but real storybook unicorns? Was anything sure anymore?

"What will you do?" Jasper asked still watching the kids swinging. He longed for the days when he was that free and innocent. Everything was simpler then, compared to the fucked up way his life was turning.

"What do you mean?"

"When I die. If I'm your mate what will you do when I die?"

Edward was quiet and he looked out into the distance. "If you die, I will continue to love you after you're gone."

"It's not a question of if, Edward," Jasper got up from the table and stood in front of Edward, "it's just when. You aren't helping yourself if you don't accept that."

Edward grabbed Jasper and held him near him, "Jasper, I will do anything within my power to save you. And I mean anything. Whatever you are willing to let me do, I will do."

Jasper looked at Edward, bemused, "I don't understand what you're telling me."

"Jasper, I'm a vampire. I'm immortal. And I'll do whatever you'll let me to keep you alive."

Jasper could only blink as Edward's words hit home. He wasn't ready to think about that. That was too much right now._ I can't think about that right now. I won't._ Edward nodded as he heard Jasper's thoughts.

"What do we do now?"

"We get to know each other I guess."

Jasper leaned against Edward, finding comfort as soon as Edward wrapped his arms around him.

"I just don't want to hurt you," Jasper said softly, "You say I'm your mate and yesterday you said that your world now revolved around me. I didn't understand that then. But now that scares me. If your world is me, what will happen when you lose your world?"

"I've already told you, Jasper – "

"No. I won't talk about that now. I'm not read; I'm just barely accepting this. I can't accept that life for myself. I won't."

"Jasper, please just think about it. I'll understand, but please don't brush it off without thought."

Jasper didn't say anything, figuring that silence was better than outright lying to Edward. Maybe he would consider it, maybe he wouldn't, but he knew that at that moment his answer was no. And that was one more way that he would hurt Edward.

"Will you answer my question?" Jasper pressed.

Edward sighed, "I will be sad, of course. A part of my soul will be gone. But I know that you would want me to continue on living, and so I would. For you, I would continue to travel and work. After time, I might even find another to love. But every day I would know that something was missing. That you were missing. And I would never be as happy as I would be if you were living."

"Do you want to risk that Edward? If we stop this now and only see each other as patient and doctor, then it would save you heartache. You'd know that you miss me, but other than a few conversations and kisses, you won't have anything to miss. You could move on and I'd be a nice memory for you to look back on."

As soon as the words were out of Jasper's mouth his face was encased in ice-cold hands. Edward forced Jasper to look at him and the fire in Edward's eyes sent chills down Jasper's spine.

"Listen to me Jasper. I would rather know you and lose you than know that my mate was within my grasp and I let him go. If I have to I will fight, not only for your life, but also for the right to know you."

Jasper had never heard anyone talk to him like that. Never before had anyone thought that Jasper was someone to fight for, besides for his parents. And that it was Edward who seemed to care so much made it that much sweeter to Jasper. This was what he needed in his last days. He needed someone who would force him to fight, but would still love him when he couldn't fight any longer.

And Jasper wanted to explore the feelings with Edward. He knew that Edward made him feel more than anyone else had, and that was enough for him. Plus, Edward was one hell of a kisser.

"So let's get to know each other." Jasper said. He got up and stretched his legs.

"What do you want to know?" Edward smiled at him.

Jasper thought for a bit and finally settled on something safe, "Where is the favourite place you've lived?"

Edward got up and took Jasper's hand and led him to the playground swings. All the kids were gone and so they took both swings.

"Scotland," Edward answered, "Glencoe, in the highlands, specifically. Carlisle and I went there after I was turned. It's beautiful, has plenty wildlife, and is secluded enough with all the rocky mountains. I loved it there. Of all the places I've been since, none calm me as much as Glencoe."

"I've always wanted to travel," Jasper said wistfully, "But my family could never afford it. I got to see a lot of the states, but I always wanted to travel around the world."

"I'll take you wherever you want. Just say the word and I'll steal you away."

Jasper laughed but was secretly pleased that he knew Edward was being honest. If Jasper told him he wanted something Edward would do whatever he could to make sure Jasper got that.

"I wouldn't know where to start," Jasper admitted. "I want to go everywhere. I want to see everything. I want to go to Cambodia and see the Killing Fields; I want to see Moscow, Rome, and a Mayan Temple. Hell, I'd just like to see Vegas."

"You've never been to Vegas?" Edward exclaimed.

Jasper shook his head, "Nope. Never got around to it. But I'd like to go."

"Okay, that's an easy place to go. My family will probably tag along. We can't resist a city where most of the action happens at night."

That comment brought Jasper swiftly to reality and thoughts of Edward's family instantly filled his mind. He knew that Edward had once talked about meeting them, but that was before Jasper was privy to family secrets. Who knew if they would want to meet him now.

"They do. Especially since Carlisle and I talk about you. Alice and Esme really want to meet you. They've been pestering me ever since you arrived in town. So as soon as you're ready…" Edward let the end of the sentence float in the air.

"Not quite yet."

"I understand. And so will they. Or I'll make them understand."

"My hero," Jasper teased.

"You bet your ass." Edward smirked at Jasper before using his strength to lift the swing off the ground and launch himself into the air. With perfect grace he landed on the ground. His cocky smile was wiped off his face when he looked down at the dirt he had kicked up during his dismount. He frowned as he brushed some dirt off his pants.

"Show off," Jasper muttered. He considered copying Edward, but knew that he had better not risk it. He bruised easier now, and it wouldn't be smart to knowingly launch himself towards the ground.

He stood instead and followed Edward as he walked away from the playground.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"You're shivering and I thought we should get you inside. I can answer more questions if you'd like." Jasper hadn't noticed that he was shivering, but now that Edward had pointed it out, he noticed how cold he actually was.

"If we go get a coffee, and you drink it, what will happen? Will you be in pain?" Jasper tried to be polite in his questioning, but there wasn't a polite way to ask someone if they'll puke or die if they eat something.

"No I won't die," Edward laughed, responding to Jasper's thoughts, "And I won't be in pain, just uncomfortable. Food doesn't harm me because the venom in my system dissolves it. Sometimes if I have to eat a lot I can feel a bit sick to my stomach, but it goes away after a while. We usually just avoid it though and don't bring it up. You'd be surprised how many people never notice that our family doesn't eat."

"Really? It was one of the first things I noticed about you."

"Well, that just shows how much you pay attention to me," Edward joked. Jasper blushed and didn't comment, knowing that there was nothing he could say against that. He did pay a lot of attention to Edward. It was almost like his senses would automatically tune in to whatever Edward was doing.

"Shut up," Jasper muttered. "Wait. The venom in your system! What about me? How can you kiss me and do, um… other stuff?"

Edward quirked an eyebrow, but answered the question, "As far as Carlisle and I can tell, the venom is only poisonous when it comes from our fangs and in the digestive tracks. In the other parts of our body the venom is highly diluted and even neutral to avoid the dissolving of the blood we consume until it reaches the proper organs. The venom in our fangs is of the strongest potency. The rest is just like lubricant in the same way your spit is."

"So you're safe for kissing and other shenanigans?" Jasper asked. He couldn't decide if he was joking or serious. One look at the sexy grin on Edward clarified it though. No, he was serious. Very, very serious.

"Yes I'm safe for kissing. As for shenanigans? What could you possibly be thinking of?"

"I think if you put your 161 year old mind to it you can see where I'm going with this."

Edward grinned and opened his car door, "I'll have you know that I have a very active imagination. And it's been working for 5 years on what to do with you." And with that Edward ducked into the car leaving a horny and speechless Jasper out in the cold.

* * *

Jasper waved goodbye to Edward as he watched him pull out of his driveway. They had eaten at the dinner where they had gone after their first 'date.' This time Edward had something to drink, humorously watching Jasper with each sip he took because Jasper kept watching him waiting to see if he'd get sick.

They had continued to talk about dumb little things like movies, music, Jasper's job, and more about travel and the places they dreamed they would go together. Jasper learned that Edward was a huge music buff, and he promised that he would show Jasper his music library as soon as he was comfortable coming over to his house.

"Jasper is that you?" Margaret's voice came from inside the house.

"Yeah mom, it's me." Jasper went inside and went straight to the kitchen knowing his mother was cooking dinner. "Smells good."

"Don't try to distract me. Where were you?"

"Oh, um, I was with Edward Cullen."

"The cute doctor?" Margaret asked. Jasper sighed and said yes. He hadn't been ready to tell his parents about his new relationship – if it could really be called that – with Edward.

"Are you boys friends?"

The moment of truth. Jasper didn't want to lie to his mother, so he settled with the middle ground. Not really telling her anything. "Kinda. It's nice to talk to someone my age."

"And I'm sure it doesn't hurt that he's gorgeous, right?" Margaret winked at Jasper's reddening face.

"Mom, please!"

"Fine you keep your secrets. But I'm happy for you. The Cullen's seem like a nice family and Edward's a nice boy. I'm glad you have a _friend_." Margaret emphasised the last word and Jasper knew that he hadn't gotten away with anything. But Margaret had the sense to keep her mouth shut and Jasper was grateful.

Jasper bashfully smiled at her and then bolted to his room to avoid further interrogation. The first thing he did when he got to his room was to find the list he had made of questions for Edward. He hadn't wanted to carry it with him and look like a geek, but in the privacy of his own room Jasper began crossing off the questions Edward had answered. He looked satisfied at his list. He was able to cross several off and that seemed like a successful "vampire" day to him.

Pleased with his progress Jasper turned on his laptop to dos some coverage of a foreign election. However after an hour of staring at his laptop, Jasper hadn't typed a word.

He had spent the entire time looking out the window, hoping for a flash of red in the trees.

* * *

_Well, I'm not terribly proud of this chapter, but I wrote this instead of writing one of my final essays so I had to post it and get it off my mind. See you next time!_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Hello again! I hope everyone is doing well. Thank you all so much for the reviews and for sticking with this story. I have good news! I have next week off so I hope to be able to update both of my stories! (about damn time, right?) Anyway, here's the latest chapter. Hope you all enjoy!_

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all recognisable characters, no infringement is intended. Only the plot is mine.

Chapter Six

He squeezed his eyes shut against the sun shinning into the living room. It had been a week since the revelation about Edward, a week since their tentative and unnamed relationship, and a week since Jasper had resumed his chemotherapy. As a result it had been the happiest, worst, and weirdest week of Jasper's life.

Jasper tried to think about everything that had happened but the pounding in his head cut off all thoughts. He groaned and slowly rolled over to press his face against the couch cushions. He had been feeling sick all day and hadn't moved from the couch to pee or eat, and certainly not to close the drapes. No matter how much he was suffering for any of those decisions.

Margaret was with a group of her friends and wouldn't be home for hours and Richard was a work. Jasper had thought about asking Margaret if she could come home and take care of him, but he wasn't ready to be a burden yet. He was a fucking adult and could take care of himself. Even if that meant he had a headache from the sun and a strained bladder. Collateral damage, he figured.

His stomach rolled and Jasper groaned again. He wasn't in the mood to be both nauseous and hungry. Jasper was used to taking care of himself in these instances but he always had supplies. Foods to settle his stomach but still keep his energy up and plenty of liquids within easy reach. His parents weren't used to dealing with it though, and so some of the things he would normally have weren't available.

_Like an empty bucket_, He thought as his stomach gave another lurch. He'd need to either find something to puke in close by, just in case, or move to the bathroom and sit there for the rest of the day. The thought of moving upstairs to the bathroom made his whole body hurt worse than it already did. Okay, so moving was out.

He looked around the room for something close by. If necessary his mother would just have to accept the loss of one of her decorations. That's when he noticed something. In the corner across the room was a potted plant. It was a fake one because Margaret couldn't keep a plant alive to save her life. So at least she could easily replace it. The problem thought, was that it was across the room. Jasper debated not going until his stomach gave another roll.

Jasper closed his eyes against the sunlight, took a calming breath and slowly lifted his body off the couch. Once he was sitting and confident that his stomach wasn't pissed at him for moving he cracked his eyes open letting his eyes get used to the light. Then with every muscle in his body protesting, he began walking to the plant.

Once he made it minutes later he leaned against the wall… and decided that the wall was really quite nice and it wouldn't hurt to stay there for the rest of the day. He looked back over that the couch, which now seemed miles away, and decided the comfort wasn't worth it. He let his body slide down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. He leaned against the potted plant and looked wistfully at the couch.

_Damn stomach needing the damn pot. Damn you._ Jasper cursed everything he could and even tried wishing himself and the plant back to the couch.

Eventually Jasper managed to make himself comfortable by draping his arm across the pot and resting his head against his arm. He began to drift off when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Jasper yelled as forcefully as he could. Thankfully whoever it was heard him because Jasper heard the door open and close and then footsteps heading towards him.

Edward walked into the living room and immediately his eyes found Jasper. He rushed towards him and knelt down beside him.

"Jasper, what are you doing on the floor?"

"I felt sick and I needed something in case I needed to puke. But the bathroom was too far away so I tried to use this. But once I got here I was too tired to go back to the couch," Jasper explained.

Edward cupped Jasper's neck and ran the other hand along his cheek, "Do you want me to bring you back to the couch? Or your bed?"

Bed. That sounded amazing. Comfy mattress, soft sheets, fluffy pillows. "My bed please," Jasper said quietly.

Without a word Edward was lifting Jasper in his arms. Jasper leaned his head against Edward's shoulder and breathed his scent. As stupid and impossible as it was, Jasper felt as if Edward's scent and presence had calmed his stomach and made his body relax. Of course that wasn't possible, but Jasper notched it up to the placebo effect. Whatever helped make him feel better.

Edward shuffled Jasper to hold with one arm as he pulled the comforter and sheets back from Jasper's bed. He laid Jasper down and pulled the sheets over his body. Then he sat on the side of the bed and brushed his hand across Jasper's face.

"Do you want something? Water or food? I'll get you something in case you're going to be sick."

"Water and some light food would be nice."

Edward nodded and got up. Before he left the room he shut the blinds and Jasper was never happier for Edward's mind reading ability. He buried himself in the covers and thanked God for Edward coming along. Seconds later Edward was back with a trash can a glass of water and some crackers and fruit.

"Okay your bucket is to your right so now you can aim. Let's prop you up so that you can eat something and have something to drink. You have to stay hydrated."

"Yes Doc."

"And don't you forget it," Edward remarked. He put his arm around Jasper's back and helped lift him up until he was sitting up. "Why are you alone?"

Jasper swallowed the sip of water he had taken and then answered, "My mom's with some friends. I didn't feel as bad when she left so I didn't think I'd need her."

He didn't mention that the other reason he hadn't stopped his mom from leaving was that he didn't want to be a burden on them. But he knew that Edward had caught the thought as it went through his head. Edward frowned but didn't say anything. Instead he passed Jasper the crackers and fruit, watching as he ate.

"When is she coming home?"

Jasper shrugged. He was much more interested in trying to eat something. He cautiously nibbled on a cracker to test his stomach. "Sometime later today." He dropped the cracker on the plate, too tired and weak to eat at the moment. He took another sip of water and pushed the food away. Edward moved it to the dresser then came back to the bed to pull the covers back over Jasper who had curled into a ball on his side.

"Maybe I should find her," Edward said quietly. Jasper lightly shook his head and moved slower to Edward until his knees lightly brushed Edward's thigh.

"I just need to lie here and sleep. There's no reason to worry her." Jasper closed his eyes and focussed on the feeling of Edward's hand brushing across his cheek. He thought, for a moment, that he had felt a soft flutter of lips against his but when he opened his eyes, Edward was sitting up straight and gazing out the window. When Edward looked back at Jasper he hesitantly snatched his hand back and placed it in his lap.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I should leave you alone so that you can sleep, I must be disturbing you. I'll clean everything up and then I'll find your mother. You shouldn't be alone. You might need something." Jasper didn't like the idea of being alone, but he also didn't to disturb his mother. Besides, he wasn't alone.

Edward was already off the bed and moving towards the dresser to clean up the food when Jasper reached out to catch Edward's hand. Edward turned, "Yes Jasper?"

"Stay," He murmured. He couldn't keep his eyes open any longer; even that was becoming painful. "Stay with me."

"You need to rest Jasper. And I need –" Jasper tugged on Edward's hand again with as much force as he could muster. He tried not to smile with glee when he heard Edward's defeated sigh. "Fine. I'll be right back."

Edward returned the dirty dishes to the kitchen and when he returned Jasper was asleep, still curled into a ball. Edward smiled and admired Jasper's body. Though it was thin and sickly, Edward had never seen anything more beautiful and pure. He removed his shoes and crawled into Jasper's bed, curling himself around the slumbering form. He closed his eyes, knowing that he wouldn't sleep. But with his eyes closed and thoughts of Jasper, Edward could almost believe he was dreaming.

* * *

In his drowsy state Jasper felt something touching him, which was weird because he was couldn't remember sleeping with anyone. Not that his dreams were evidence of that. In fact, his dreams were filled with images of a very naked Edward. An Edward that would crawl up his body, press him down into the mattress, rock his hip against his…

"As wonderful as your dreams and subsequent fantasies are, I must warn you that my self control is already as thin as it can go. Unless you want me to fuck you, eat you, or run away, you better stop."

Jasper's eyes shot open revealing a smiling Edward. However his smile was just a bit too forced and Jasper could tell that Edward wasn't kidding about his control being thin.

"Sorry," Jasper grinned, "but I'm a growing boy and I have needs."

"Growing?" Edward asked, lifting an eyebrow in question.

"Fine, grown," Jasper amended. He started to sit up but halfway through changed his mind and flopped against Edward's chest. "How long was I asleep?"

"A few hours. It's almost 4 now. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, my headache his gone. Of course every muscle in my body and every joint still hurts but there's not much I can do about that. Were you here the whole time?"

"Almost. When your dreams got too much I had to… remove myself for a while."

"Remove yourself?" Jasper teased, "I think you mean 'take care of yourself'."

Edward sniffed and looked away quickly, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Jasper stifled his laughter to put on a straight face, "Really Edward? It's okay, you know. We're both men and we sometimes need to wank."

"Men – humans – do. But vampires are above such basic human urges."

"Really?" Jasper doubted that, especially if the fact that Edward wouldn't look him in the eye was anything to go by. He rolled over so that he was lying halfway on top of Edward. The most important part, though, was that his hands had easy access. "That's lucky for you. Because I can't tell you how hard I am whenever I wake up from one of my dreams."

Edward's eyes widened and Jasper decided to tease him even more. He didn't know where the line was between where Edward was in control of his Vampire instincts and where he would go crazy exactly, but he was willing to test it a bit more.

"I can't help it, Edward. The image of you on top of me, our slick skin sliding against each other, your body seated between my thighs," Jasper emphasised each word with the touch of finger tips on Edward's body. His hands found their way beneath Edward's shirt and ran along the plans of his stomach. Edward's breathing was getting harder and pushing Jasper to go farther, though he made sure his touches stayed light and innocent.

He could resist completely though, and so he leaned down and brushed his lips across Edward's, hopefully giving him time to prepare for the coming onslaught. He lightly kissed the side of Edward's mouth and then nibbled on his bottom lip before firmly pressing his lips against Edward's. Edward's groan of approval had Jasper opening his mouth and Edward's tongue delved into his. Despite his desire to deepen the kiss and to allow his tongue to explore Edward's mouth, he only touched his tongue against Edward's. After several moments Jasper pulled away and buried his face into the crook of Edward's neck.

"I just have to touch myself. And I pretend it's you stroking me, you're mouth surrounding me. Then I imagine what it would feel like to be inside you. How tight and warm you'd feel wrapped around me. Or I imagine how you'd feel inside me. Do you imagine that Edward? Do you imagine how you'd feel inside me?" Edward's low growl confirmed that Jasper was getting to him. Edward stopped Jasper's hands.

"Trust me Jasper, I've thought about it. I've known about you for years and I don't sleep. I've had _plenty_ of time to think about all the things I'm going to do to you once we're ready. One of them includes never letting you leave the bed for a week," Jasper blushed at that, though he didn't know if it was with embarrassment or pleasure. There was no reason to be embarrassed. Hell, he had just teased Edward with his masturbation fantasy. But Edward wasn't teasing. And it was the seriousness in his voice, the absolute certainty, which made Jasper blush.

"Really?" Was all that he could manage to say without choking.

"Yes, but not yet. We're still getting to know each other, and you're sick. I don't want to hurt you. And when we make love it will be a celebration and you will be perfectly healthy."

"Edward," Jasper began, "You have to face reality –"

"No. You will be healthy. Even if I have to drug you until you're loopy." Edward said, trying to lighten the mood.

Jasper played along. He didn't want to talk about his sickness. Not today. "Well now you're talking. If you're bringing pot along…"

Edward snorted, "I think I can get my hands on something a bit stronger than pot."

"Speaking of, shouldn't you be at work right now?"

"Well I was working but I came over on my lunch to check on you. I hadn't seen you for a few days and I was worried."

Well _that_ got Jasper's attention. "Why the hell didn't you tell me that? I wouldn't have made you stay. You shouldn't have stayed, Edward. What will Carlisle say?"

"First off, I stayed because I wanted to take care of you and I will always want to stay with you. You didn't make me stay. If you didn't notice, it didn't exactly take a lot of convincing to get me to stay. Secondly, I already explained to Carlisle. It's been a slow day anyways. I've been much more useful here.

And Thirdly, Jasper, you will always come first for me. No matter what is going on, if you need me, I'll drop whatever I'm doing and help you. Not because I feel obligated to, but because I want to. I feel… special when you turn to me, Jasper. And I love that feeling."

"Because I'm your," Jasper hesitated. The word was on the tip of his tongue, but it was one of the things he was still coming to grips with. Uttering the word would be accepting that place in Edward's life. Jasper wanted that though. For however long he had, something told him that he wanted to spend it with Edward. So he pressed forward and said the word that he hadn't been able to say with any semblance of seriousness before. "Mate?"

"Yes, because you're my mate and vampires take mates very seriously. I know you haven't met any other vampires, but you'll see it in my family. We're all a family and we all love each other, but mates come first."

"What will Alice do now?" Jasper asked. He knew that Alice was now the only vampire in their family who was unmated, and that was why she and Edward were so close. Jasper didn't want to interfere in their relationship.

"Don't worry. Alice may not have a mate, but she never let it affect her the way I did. I'm…"

"Nervous, melancholy, thoughtful?" Jasper supplied. He instantly regretted being a smartass when Edward smacked his head.

"That was rude. But yes, I suppose. I've watched others love and I always wanted that for myself. But Alice has always been very independent and she loves the freedom of taking off whenever she wants and coming back a week later. She doesn't want a mate as much as I did. So she won't feel left out."

"I just don't want anyone to feel like I'm interfering in your family."

"They wont. Just like me, they've had five years to get used to the idea of you." Edward assured.

"When will I get to meet them?"

"The second you admit that you're ready, you'll be beating them off with a bat. Alice and Esme are already squealing over you. Esme's working on your room."

"My room?" Jasper was astonished that people he hadn't even met would want him to have his own room. But he didn't understand why they would. "Why would I have my own room? Am I not allowed to stay with you?"

"Of course you can. But we didn't know if you'd want to. So instead of making you feel uncomfortable Esme just decided to give you your own room. Rosalie is very jealous of that, by the way. She's wanted her own room for years. Mostly she just wants the extra closet space, but she also wants her own room so that she can punish Emmett when she's mad at him. Apparently she can't refuse him if she's stuck in the same bed as him," Edward said with disgust. Jasper had a feeling that Edward knew a lot about his family member's personal lives that he wished he didn't know. The idea both creeped him out and made him laugh, and only Edward's glare at Jasper's thoughts kept him quiet.

"So, if I say that I'm ready – not that I'm saying it, but hypothetically – then what would we do? Go to your house? Meet in a populated area? I mean I've never met vampire parents before."

"Well, maybe our first step should be having me meet your parents," Edward innocently suggested.

"No," Jasper said as forcefully as he could. "No, my mom already teases me about you enough, the very last thing I need is for her to actually meet you. She'll just tease me more."

"Oh man up Jasper. How bad could it be?"

Jasper quirked an eyebrow, "you doubt me? Whenever I talk about you she gives me this look. And then she asks me if I like you, she says how cute you are, and she always asks if we're dating. It's embarrassing. And she knows that she'll make me uncomfortable, so she does it on purpose."

Jasper waited for Edward to defend him and sympathise with his plight. Instead Edward said, "You talk about me?"

"Not the point, Edward!"

"Yeah, but I want to talk about that."

"Well I don't want to –" But Jasper was interrupted by the slamming of the front door and his mother's voice yelling for him. He stole a glance at Edward's amused face.

"Well, we better go see your mother," Edward said cheerfully.

"You did that on purpose," Jasper muttered. Edward shifted off the bed and held out his hands to help Jasper up. "You knew she was coming home and you distracted me so that you'd still be here when she arrived."

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about. But for future knowledge, Vampires have very good hearing." Jasper quietly muttered about damn vampire being able to hear and read people's damn minds, but he allowed Edward to pick him up and carry him down the stairs.

Edward put Jasper down on the couch, wrapped him in a blanket and then placed the bucket down beside him. Jasper hadn't noticed Edward bringing that, though he didn't know why he was surprised that his vampire – wait,_ his _vampire? Where the hell had that come from? – had been able to carry him, a blanket, and his bucket.

Edward leaned down and kissed Jasper's forehead, "I'll be right back," he whispered and then he vanished. All the talking had made Jasper tired again and his fatigue was affecting his entire body. His headache was returning and he couldn't muster the strength to move.

"Oh Jasper, why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well today?" His mother said as soon as she came into the living room with Edward right behind her.

"It's nothing mom, I'm used to it and I don't need you to baby me," Jasper insisted.

"Oh stuff it," Margaret said harshly forcing Jasper to notice that she was actually upset and he felt bad about not letting her know. "We didn't move you up here so that you could suffer on your own." Margaret knelt down beside Jasper and wiped the clammy skin on his forehead. "I need to take care of you Jasper. You're my baby boy and I," Margaret choked on her words and bit her lip.

"I'm sorry mom. I didn't mean to make you upset. I'm just used to taking care of myself and I didn't want to be a bother."

"You are never a bother, Jasper. Never." Margaret kissed Jasper's cheek and stood up. Then she looked at Edward with a predatory grin and Jasper felt his mood drop. "Well what are you doing here Dr. Cullen?"

"I'm just visiting Jasper here, Mrs. Whitlock."

"No, remember I told you to call me Margaret. Now, I can't tell you how happy I am that my Jasper made a friend here. And such a handsome one too."

"Mom, please stop," Jasper begged.

"Shush dear. Now Edward, will we be seeing more of you around?"

Edward cast a quick glance at Jasper before smirking, "I'd like to think so Margaret. But I guess you'd have to ask Jasper whether he'll let me."

"Oh of course he will. The boy would be a damn fool to let such a handsome man like yourself slip through his fingers."

"No, I think I'd be the fool to let him get away." Edward smiled when Margaret cooed at that. Jasper, at this point, had his face hidden in the blankets.

"Will you be staying for dinner, Edward?" Margaret asked.

"That would be wonderful Margaret, thank you."

"Well I have some work to do, but dinner should be ready around 6:30. Jasper dear, let me know how you're feeling and if you're up for dinner. Now I'll just leave you boys alone." Margaret winked at Edward and left the room. As soon as she was gone Edward was up and sitting on the couch beside Jasper.

"See, that wasn't so bad," Edward said.

Jasper pulled down the blanket to glare at Edward, "Were we in the same room? That was horrible! My mom's teasing has gotten out of hand. I'm gonna have to start on her now. I don't know what I'm going tease her about, but I'm sure I can remember something."

"Jasper, if that's what you consider tough, you are not prepared for my family. They're invasive. They mean well, of course, but they are nosey. And it takes a while to get used to them. So compared to what I'm used to your mother was easy."

"Don't tell me that," Jasper moaned, "I'm not used to having people delve into my personal life. I need time to get used to it."

"Don't worry, love. I'll protect you from them. Now how should we spend the next few hours?" Edward didn't seem to notice his term of endearment, and while it made Jasper's heart beat faster to hear it, he wasn't ready to acknowledge it. So instead Jasper introduced Edward to _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ and they lay on the couch together.

It gave Jasper time to think, which was something he rarely was able to do in Edward's presence. Usually they were talking and really they had only had a handful of conversations. This didn't give Jasper a lot of time to digest the information he had been given. Now, however, his problems seemed a lot more normal.

He had already accepted that Edward was a vampire and had adjusted to that remarkably well, if he said so himself. Now he was much more focussed on his relationship with Edward.

Jasper found himself having feelings for Edward that he had never had for another. It scared him to feel this deeply about someone he hadn't known that long. It didn't make any sense and he could only put it down to two things: either his cancer was getting to his head or this mate thing worked both ways. Just as Edward felt an instant connection to Jasper, somehow Jasper was also able to recognise his other half in Edward, even if it wasn't to the extent that Edward felt.

Weeks ago Jasper would have laughed at himself and thought he was losing his mind. But now it was actually the most logical explanation. And Jasper was beginning to find the whole situation quite normal.

"I think you might be right," Edward said. Jasper looked up surprised, but then remembered the mind reading.

"I always forget that part of you. I don't know why."

"I actually like it. It means that you don't view me as a freak who can read your mind…"

"Don't forget drinking blood."

"And as a result, you're less guarded than some. My family has learned how to get around it at times. They've learned how to mask their real thoughts behind others. It's fine with me; I don't want to know their thoughts. But yours… I want to know everything you think. Even the dumb thoughts," Edward placed a kiss on Jasper's head and tightened his arms around him. "But again, I think that you're right. I think that somehow we recognise each other and that's why this seems so natural so soon. It's probably because of what I am."

"So if you were human?"

"I don't know. It's hard to tell whether we'd feel the same. I think so but it'd take us longer to reach this point."

"You mean it'd be like every one else's relationships. Normal."

"Well yes, probably. But because of what I am," Edward stopped and took an unnecessary deep breath, "Our mates are perfect for us. People tease that they found their soul mates, love at first sight, the one they recognise instantly as their other half. But that's kinda the norm for vampires. So there must be something connected. You aren't feeling it as strong as I am, so that must be it."

"I don't understand," Jasper admitted, "I mean. That entire conversation made absolutely no sense. It sounds like something from one of those bullshit romance novels with Fabio on the cover."

"I know. I think I need to kill something to get my balls back. But I do think that's what's going on."

"This is weird Edward. I mean, I think I'm handling this pretty well, but there are times where I expect to wake up from this and find that everything is back to normal."

Edward hesitated before asking the question that was hanging in the air, "Do you want everything to go back to normal? Back before you met me?"

"Sometimes," Jasper said quietly, but he quickly amended, "But no, not really. Because I just can't imagine not knowing you. I don't want to imagine that."

Neither knew what to say after that and so both of them watched the TV for a bit. Finally Edward opened his mouth to speak but then seemed reconsidered it and instead captured Jasper's lips in a soft kiss. Jasper wrapped his hand around Edward's neck to hold him down when Edward tried to break the kiss.

Only a throat clearing from the doorway forced them both to look up.

"Hello boys," Richard said. He eyed them both, sighed, and turned around yelling over his shoulder, "It's time for dinner."

Jasper grabbed Edward's chin and forced him to look at him. Without Jasper having to say anything Edward chucked, "Yes, yes. I did that on purpose. Now let's go eat."

* * *

_A/N: Sooo, basically this was a filler chapter. I'll admit it, and I'm not exactly proud of this chapter as a whole. But it was necessary. They had to get more familiar with each other before Jasper meets the Cullens (which is the next chapter)._

_Oh, and the Mystery Science Theater 3000 is because I'm watching episodes of it on youtube and remembering saturday mornings of my childhood. When it came time for them to be watching something MST3K was the first thing that popped into my head. _

_Anyways. I'll see you all next week, and thanks for reading! ~AJ Kelly_


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Hi! So this was supposed to be out ages ago. But I was having computer issues, then school started again and I had to do work, then I had to prepare two presentations for classes... so yeah, this was later than it was supposed to be. But it's out now! Thank you all for your reviews, I love them all even if I don't get a chance to respond to them. Enjoy!_

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all recognisable characters, no infringement is intended. Only the plot is mine.

Chapter Seven

_Do not go gentle into that good night,_

_Rage, rage against the dying of the light. ~Dylan Thomas_

"You need to try to eat more Jasper. You've lost 4 pounds since the last time I saw you. Obviously your chemo will make you lose weight, but you must try to eat. You're understandably losing weight from the cancer and treatments, but we need to do everything we can to keep you as healthy as possible. And that includes eating," Carlisle admonished Jasper. He sat next to Jasper and looked over his file. Jasper chose to focus on talking to Carlisle and not on the tube in his arm administering his chemotherapy.

"I know," Jasper practically growled. He had already heard this lecture from Edward many times. He did try to eat. The problem was that as soon as he ate, he'd throw it back up again. "I'm working on it. But I can't help it when I puke it back up."

"I understand. And I know that you've heard it all before. I just want to make sure. You need your energy."

"My mom makes me soup a lot. It's light enough that I can usually keep it down."

"Good. As long as you're eating something. I'll prescribe you an anti-sickness medication to try. We'll see if that helps with the nausea. Any diarrhoea?"

Jasper flushed and gave a brisk nod. Even though Carlisle was his doctor it was a bit weird to be discussing diarrhoea with Edward's – his_ whatever_ that Edward was, Jasper still didn't know what the title would be – father.

"Well you can try to take something for it to make you more comfortable if you want. Is there anything else worth mentioning Jasper?"

"No, just the usual. Weakness, tiredness, pain," Jasper tried not to sound put out, but he was slowly losing his positive outlook. He had wanted his last moments to be something peaceful and healing with his family. Instead, in his attempt to fight, he was making himself miserable.

Carlisle seemed to understand Jasper's tone because he crouched down beside Jasper and spoke quietly to him, "Jasper, I understand that you don't want to give up. But say the word and we'll stop. No one will blame you."

"No, I need to try. If there's a chance that this could give me a bit more time with my family I need to take it."

Carlisle nodded and lightly squeezed Jasper's hand. "I understand, Jasper. But I just wanted you to know that you have choices."

"Not much of a choice really, but thanks Doc. Die now or die later wasn't really where I thought my life choices were going."

Carlisle gave another comforting squeeze and stood up to leave to see his other patients. But he paused at the door and turned back to Jasper.

"You have another choice, Jasper," Carlisle said quietly so only Jasper could hear. "My son loves you. More than he loves anyone on this earth. If you let him help you, you'd be a welcomed addition to my family."

Jasper just stared straight ahead unable to say anything. Yes, he knew there was another choice. One he wasn't ready to make a decision on yet; one that terrified him to either accept or reject.

"Please just think about it," Carlisle asked before leaving Jasper alone with his thoughts.

Jasper had thought about it. Late at night when he sat in the darkness of his room contemplating his one mortality, Edward's offer always found its way into the front of his mind. On the one hand it should be an easy decision.

Jasper would die. Whether it would be next week or 50 years from now, he was human and therefore would eventually die. He had the opportunity to live forever with a man who would love him and take care of him. He had the offer of a family that he could spend centuries with, long after his own parents had died.

He could give his parents the gift of knowing that their son would live. That he would be happy and loved. That he would have the life they had dreamed he would have instead of one filled with suffering.

But on the other hand, the idea of immortality terrified Jasper. Things were supposed to die; it was the natural way of the world. Things lived, contributed to the world, and then left. Jasper was always reminded of a quote that he once heard, that man died because in immortality he would inevitably see the destruction or betrayal of all that he had grown to love and trust in and it would drive him to misery. He would break down as everything – be it civilisations, dynasties, or fortunes – eventually perish when it's past its time.

How could he live as he watched the world change and evolve around him? Would he evolve with it? Or would he be one of the last humans when humanity inevitable died out and evolved to something other than what he had known?

Or what if the various religions of the world were right? What if the end of the world would come with the return of their god, leaving only those who didn't believe to die until the eventual end of humanity? What then would happen to the ones who cannot die?

Jasper wasn't religious. He didn't believe that he would go to heaven or hell when he died. He didn't believe that there was a god he could take his problems to. But if he was wrong, what then?

The bulk of his question came down to one thing: What happens to the infinite, the immortal, when the rest of the mortal, finite world changes and dies around them?

It was both exciting and terrifying to think about. One part of Jasper didn't want anything to do with it. He wanted to die and have all his problems over with. Edward, a man he had only known a few weeks, certainly wasn't worth Jasper's eternal questioning. What it Edward became bored of him? Sure Jasper was Edward's 'centre of the world' now, but who was to say that a 100 years from now he wouldn't find someone he loved more than Jasper? Was Jasper willing to risk everything on Edward's word?

However, if Edward was true, and if Jasper could trust him, there was a part of him that wanted to see what would happen. All the questions of humanity and the world, Jasper would be able to discover. And he would have Edward beside him. Surely that would make whatever happened worth the risk.

If the end of the world came, if humanity evolved back to apes and "Planet of the Apes" was suddenly a reality, would it be that bad if Edward was standing beside him? Maybe it'd be like a constant Doctor Who episode. Without the TARDIS. Though with Edward's brilliant mind…

These thoughts had kept Jasper up many nights. The constant questioning had even caught Edward's attention, though he didn't know what Jasper was thinking about. Jasper didn't want to share with Edward just yet. It was something that he had to figure out on his own. He had to learn to trust Edward without Edward trying to force it.

So after a time, Jasper hadn't thought about it. It all came down to Edward right now and after that Jasper could decide if he thought his questions would be worth ignoring for a lifetime with Edward.

Though Edward's family was also important, of course. If he didn't like them, or worse, if they didn't like him, then he had even more issues to work out. Who'd have thought that moving home to be comforted by his parents would actually lead to more stress?

And speaking of Edward's family, Jasper was set to meet them in two days. That was another thing that worried Jasper. He had never met a boyfriend's parents before. He wanted them to like him. But moreover, he was walking into a house filled with vampires. Granted one of them was his doctor, and he knew that Edward would protect him. But one has to be pretty damn stupid to not be worried about stepping into a house filled with people whose main diet consisted of blood. Something that Jasper had a lot of.

All in all, it was a very stressful week. The only highlight was Edward's meals with his family. After the first dinner his mother loved Edward – if only because she thought he was so handsome. He father liked Edward, but had obvious reservations about his son bringing home a lover in his condition. It was more than Jasper could hope for though. He had been convinced that his parent's would think he was crazy and throw Edward out of the house. Instead, after that first dinner, Edward had been invited over for each subsequent dinner with his family. And Edward always showed.

He even ate a bit, which did show Jasper a level of his dedication. Edward was willing to eat for him. Sure it wasn't life threatening, but it did cause him discomfort so it was a nice thought.

"You're all done now Jasper," Wendy, one the nurses, said. Jasper looked down at his arm and realised that he hadn't even noticed when the tube had been removed. He rolled his sleeve down over the bandage and thanked Wendy before heading towards the family room to find his mother.

He saw Edward walking past with one of the other doctors and wondered if he should try to get Edward's attention or if he'd be a distraction. He stopped and smiled at Edward and as soon as Edward saw him he excused himself and went straight to Jasper.

Edward placed a light kiss on the corner of Jasper's mouth and looked him over. "How are you feeling?"

"Remarkably good for someone who's had chemicals pumped into their body."

"Good. I'm coming over tonight just in case you get sick since your parents have that dinner party at their friends. And I'm only on call tomorrow so I can help if you need me."

"I'm not an invalid," Jasper reminded him, "I can take care of myself."

"I know you can. But even if I just keep you company I want to be there," Edward said hesitantly as if waiting for Jasper to blow up and refuse him.

Jasper rolled his eyes to show his annoyance at his overprotective vampire, but he couldn't disagree with the fact that it was easier to have someone with him if he did get sick. He didn't have to be happy about it though.

"Fine. But unless I ask you to do something, you will sit in the living room and not move. No hovering, no anticipating my needs. And definitely no reading my mind to find out what I'm thinking that I need and then rushing off to get it before I ask. Okay?" Jasper searched Edward's face for any trace of a complaint or possibility that Edward's mind had found a loophole in his words.

"Deal," Edward said, "now I had to be in a meeting five minutes ago so I better leave. I'll see you in a few hours?"

Jasper nodded and pushed himself forward until their lips met. After a few seconds, Jasper broke the kiss and leaned into whisper in Edward's ear. "Thank you for being willing to let me take care of myself. And for still being there when I admit that I need help."

"I'll always be there Jasper," Edward whispered back. He kissed Jasper's temple before saying his goodbye.

Jasper's eyes followed him down the hall, watching his tight, firm arse move in the fitted black pants Edward was wearing. Even through the doctor's jacket, Jasper could imagine the contours.

"It looks better when he wears his scrubs."

Jasper whipped his head around to find himself faced with the nurses at the nursing station. "What?'

"Dr. Cullen," an older nurse that had once instructed Jasper to give her a urine sample said, "He looks better in scrubs. Then his jacket isn't covering him up."

"Um… yeah," Jasper stammered.

"So you're the one who bagged Doctor Junior," the nurse asked again with a shit-eating grin on her face.

"W—well, I'm not sure," Jasper admitted. "I mean, I'm not sure what we are."

"Oh son, please. That boy's gone gaga over you. Lucky bastard," She muttered at the end.

"Right. Well, I need to go," Jasper said. He slowly inched his way away from the curious and slightly murderous eyes that followed him.

"Just one question," one of the other nurses asked. Jasper hesitated and shakily nodded for her to continue. "Considering you've now taken the most eligible man in town and destroyed the hopes and dreams of the entire nursing staff, the least you can do is tell us if his ass is as magnificent as it looks."

Jasper's eyes widened and his knee jerk reaction was to tell them to go to hell and then run away. But the looks on the nurses' faces stopped him. They were suddenly dreamy and hopeful. Jasper felt the cocky smile spread on his face, "It's even better. It fits perfectly in my hand."

And with that he walked off, his day instantly brightened. He found his mom in the family room and filled her in on his appointment while they were driving home.

"Oh, Jasper I almost forgot. I promised Barbara that I'd make the dessert for tonight. I need to stop at the grocery store to pick up some things. Do you mind if we make a quick stop before heading home?"

"No that's fine. I feel okay, actually."

"Oh darling, that's wonderful. Is there anything that you'd like while I'm in the store?"

Jasper reddened as he asked his mom to pick up the anti-sickness and diarrhoea medication. Margaret parked the car and went inside while Jasper waited in the car.

It amazed him how a brief conversation with Edward seemed to make his entire day brighter. No one had done that for him before and Jasper wasn't sure what that meant. He didn't love Edward. How could he? They had known each other only a few weeks and they had only really been talking for about two weeks. He felt affection for Edward, certainly. Comfortable around him, definitely. There was definitely passion and the need to be with him. But love, no. Not yet at least.

He could though. That he was certain of. He had no doubt that he would come to love Edward, even if he didn't right now. There was a chance that if he chose to be turned, he still wouldn't love Edward by the time his body decided to give out. Jasper had always been slow to form and realise his feelings. But he was sure that eventually he would love Edward. That was one of the few certainties of being turned. He would love Edward and Edward, for a time, would love him. It was the things beyond that which worried Jasper.

He again wondered if Edward's love for him was permanent. Jasper felt that, given the slow steady forming of his feelings, that would mean that he would love Edward until the very end, whatever that end may be. It would destroy him if Edward later found someone he loved more than Jasper.

The entirety of the human race that Edward would eventually interact with hadn't even been born yet. Some of their parents, grandparents and great-grandparents hadn't been born yet. How did Edward know that Jasper was his mate out of the entire population that did and would exist?

Jasper was startled out of his thoughts by a tapping on his window. Outside was a tall, handsome Native American man, grinning brightly at him. Jasper rolled down his window and looked questioning at the man.

"Hey, how ya doin? I was wondering if you could help me out with getting something into my truck. I bought a couch and it's fucking heavy. I told the salesman that I didn't need help but I overestimated how awesome my muscles are. Could you help?"

Jasper got out of the car. "I can try. I'm not so strong but if you can take most of the weight…"

"That's fine man, I just need someone to mostly help me guide it into the truck."

Jasper followed the guy to his car and saw the couch sitting in the parking lot. "Couldn't you get them to ship it to you?"

"Nah, costs too much and I need the couch for tonight. There's a football game on and some of my buddies are coming over but my couch broke over the weekend."

"Your couch broke?"

"Yeah. Fucker just wasn't built for jumping apparently. But try telling that to a drunk guy. So I had to get a new one."

The man bent down and took one side of the couch. "Okay, if you could just take that side. I'll take most of the weight, but if you'd just lift that side onto the bed of the truck, then get in and drag it while I push, that'd be great."

Jasper did as he was told and summoned all of his nonexistent energy to try to lift his side. Thankfully the man was good on his word and took most of the weight so Jasper didn't have to exert himself. He shuffled out of the way so the corner could sit on the end of the bed and then jumped up and began pulling the couch in. Once they had the couch inside the bed Jasper helped the man strap the couch down.

"Thanks a lot man. You really helped."

"I barely helped, you did most of the work."

"Not true. Without you I'd be watching the game in this parking lot. So thanks," The man held out his hand to shake. Jasper politely shook it. "You new here? Granted I live up at the Rez but I thought I knew everyone in this town," the man asked.

"Yeah, I've been here a few weeks. My parents have lived here for years though. The Whitlocks."

"Yeah? Well welcome to Forks. Don't know what in the hell possessed you to move here though. I'm Jacob, by the way."

"Jasper. And it's not so bad here."

"Maybe you have to grow up here to hate it," Jacob joked, "you like it here?"

"It's a nice town," Jasper said, "but I didn't know there was a reservation nearby."

"Bout half an hour away actually. There's not much there. No casino so we don't get a lot of visitors."

"What? No casino? But what do you do then?" Jasper teased. He briefly wondered if he had overstepped a boundary but something about Jacob made him feel comfortable.

"Ha fucking ha. No more casino jokes. Seriously, it's just a bunch of houses and the school. We do have a great beach though. Great hiking too."

"Really, think I could see it? I'm getting kinda sick of going to the town when I want to get away."

"No problem," Jacob said. His boisterous voice carried through the parking lot causing people to stop and stare at them while the passed. Jacob seemed to thrive under all the attention and kept winking or waggling his eyebrows to everyone who looked. "I'll give you my number and call anytime you wanna come up. I'll show you the quickest way to get to the beach and the best trails."

"Thanks, that'd be great," Jasper said. He was pleased that he appeared to have met another potential friend. His social group currently consisted of his parents, his doctor and Edward. None of them would work as someone he could just let loose with.

"If you want, you could watch the game tonight? My friends won't mind and if they do, give it a few hours and they'll be too drunk to get pissed," Jacob asked.

"I can't tonight, but maybe the next game?"

"You're on. See ya later, Jasper," Jacob waved as he got into his truck. Jasper waved back and walked back to the car, arriving just as his mother exited the store.

"What are you doing outside, Jasper," Margaret asked.

"I was just helping a guy get his couch into his truck," Jasper said. He got into the car and buckled his seatbelt while he waited for the explosion. He wasn't disappointed.

"Jasper! You can't do that. What if you had gotten hurt? How could you do something so- so—" Margaret stuttered in her anger.

"Mom, I'm fine. I didn't lift more than I couldn't handle," Jasper said, wondering if this was going to become his new mantra. Maybe he should just make a sign to hang around his neck. It could say, "I'm fine. Don't smother me."

The rest of the car ride was spent with Jasper staring out the window, trying to ignore his mother while she ranted to him about his safety. She was still ranting as Jasper climbed the stairs to go to his room and only when he shut the door did his mother's voice disappear.

* * *

Jasper cocked an eyebrow. Edward was sitting across from him, every muscle tense and ready for action. Edward was sitting on his hands – something Jasper had forced Edward to do after Edward had tried to pour Jasper's tea for him, even though he was feeling strong enough to _lift the fucking teapot._ Edward had been trying his hardest, Jasper knew that, but his nature forced him to try to do everything possible to take care of his mate.

Jasper acknowledged that. But it didn't mean he had to like it.

So he was making sure that Edward wouldn't help him unless he explicitly asked for something. And Jasper hadn't asked for a single thing, something that was slowly driving Edward crazy.

_I'm hungry. I think I might heat up some soup._ Jasper thought, purposefully staring directly at Edward as he thought it. He saw Edward's whole body twitch, but Edward was good and stayed still.

_Well done. You're getting better at this._ The glare that he received could have killed, but Jasper knew that Edward didn't mean it, which just made the intensity of the look hilarious. _Is that your scary face? It's not very scary. I think Dracula would be disappointed. _

"Go to hell," Edward muttered. He was growing annoyed with Jasper's teasing, but Jasper just couldn't let up. It was funny watching Edward trying to restrain himself from helping, but it was important as well.

Jasper had to know that he could trust Edward to keep his word. And this silly exercise was helping. With few exceptions, Edward had left Jasper to take care of himself. He hadn't even lectured Jasper when he learned about him helping Jacob with the couch. He had simply replied that he was glad Jasper had felt healthy enough after chemo to be able to lift a couch.

But right now, Jasper had other things on his mind. Well, more specifically, one thing. Jasper was horny. And while he didn't have enough energy for sex he could certainly think of other… more pleasurable ways to put Edward's restraint to the test.

_You know what I really want?_ He asked softly, though since it was in his head he could only assume he had spoken softly.

"What?"

_I'd really like it if you could kiss me right now._

"… are you still testing me?" Edward asked. He twitched again when Jasper bit his bottom lip and slowly shook his head.

"Nope. I want you to kiss me. We don't have to do more than that. Well, at least right now," Jasper amended.

Edward was up in a flash and sitting by Jasper's side on the couch. He took Jasper's face between his hands. Jasper leaned into the cold touch for a moment and then lunged at Edward, pressing their lips together.

It was chaste at first, but then Edward ran his tongue along Jasper's bottom lip asking for entrance, which Jasper was only too happy to give. In an instant, Edward's taste exploded in Jasper's mouth and it was the most desirable taste that he could possibly imagine.

Jasper carded his fingers through Edward's hair and pulled him down with him to lean back on the couch. Edward followed, pressing his body against Jasper's. They lost themselves in the feel of each other, their hands roaming the other's body. Jasper's hand cupped Edward's arse to find that it was, indeed, as perfect a fit as he had said.

Jasper was losing himself in the feel and taste of Edward. All he knew was he wanted more. He wanted more of Edward's body; more of his taste, more of everything and anything that Edward would give him. Jasper arched his hips against Edward's, longing to feel the friction that his cock so desperately needed.

As soon as their hips connected, though, Edward was off Jasper and on the other side of the room.

Jasper took deep breaths to calm his breathing then sat up. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not ready for that yet," Edwards growled out. His lust was evident in his black eyes and the unconscious heaving of his chest, so Jasper didn't know what the problem was.

"Don't you want to?"

"Yes. That's the problem. I'm used to human blood but I've never done _that_ with a human and the emotions, the hormones racing through your blood…" Edward trailed off.

"I understand. But, we'll work on it right?" Jasper asked.

"Of course. Of course we'll work on it. I just need time."

Jasper didn't voice what he thought, that Edward really didn't have that much time to work on it. But Edward heard it. He always heard it. And the violent exhalation of breath told Jasper exactly what Edward thought, and that brought back all of Jasper's worries.

"I'm thinking about it," He said softly, almost apologetically, "I am. I just don't know yet Edward."

"What don't you know?" Edward yelled, he took two steps towards Jasper before tensing his body again in a show of control. "What's holding you back?"

"Do you think this is easy?" Jasper yelled back, "Do you think I can make this choice lightly? I've known you, what, three, four weeks? How can I say that I'll give my life for you? How can I turn my back on everything I've known?" The tears that he had tried to keep away spilled over and began running down his face. "I'm doing the best I can Edward. I know what you want me to do, but I need to figure things out first. You're asking me to give up my life, as short as it will be, to run off with you into the sunset, but I'm scared.

"How do I know you'll stay with me forever? I'm going on your word, Edward, and you could be wrong. What if I'm not your mate? What if I let you turn me and then you find your true mate? What do I do then?

"That's completely ignoring the other questions of what the rest of our lives will look like if you do stay with me. What about a hundred years from now? Two hundred? Five hundred? How can we know what the world will be like throughout our lives? You're asking me to give up all that I know to enter one big question mark of a life with you on one assurance: your word. And even if I might be willing to do that, I have to know that I can trust you enough first. And that takes time."

Jasper put his head in his hands and took deep breaths, willing the tears to go away. He felt Edward's hand rub circles on his back but he couldn't gather the energy to lift his head and look at him.

They stayed in silence for a several minutes, Jasper burying his face into his hands trying to contain himself and Edward quietly comforting him.

"I'm sorry, Jasper," Edward said softly, "I'm not trying to push you. And I'd be worried if you jumped into this without hesitation. I'm glad that you're thinking these things through. Your thirst for answers and your reluctance to jump into this headfirst is one of the many things that I love about you." Jasper turned his head so that he could see Edward out of the corner of his eye. "I don't have all the answers for you. And I'm sure that many of the questions you have are ones that I have also struggled with.

"But let me tell you one thing." Edward brushed Jasper's check with the back of his hand wiping the tears away. "I don't know how it works, but I know this: You _are_ my mate. I will never find another person who I will love as much as I love you. I don't know how I know, but I do. I will love you until the world ends, whether you choose to stay with me for it or not. You're the only one I will love. If you trust nothing else that I say, trust that."

Jasper could only close his eyes and try to convince himself that that was all he needed to know.

* * *

_A/N: Just so you know, Jacob is not a Werewolf. I don't want to mix the treaty in with this story. There's already enough going on in Jasper's mind without throwing Werewolves who won't let him be turned into the mix. And there will be no one-sided Jacob/Jasper thing. Jacob is there because I love him. He was the only character besides Seth that I actually liked in the books (before S.M made him into a paedophile) , so I wanted to put him in here. Plus Jasper needs someone that he can confide in and that's not his parents for obvious reasons. Also, did I mention that I love Jacob?_

_Anyways, if you didn't notice from this chapter, things will start to get darker from this chapter out. There is a meeting with the Cullens next chapter, and that will be fun. But this story can't progress without Jasper getting sicker. Just a heads up. _

_Thanks for reading and see you next time! ~AJ Kelly_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Hello everyone, Look! I finally got another chapter out. I can't thank you all enough for being patient with my stories and for all the wonderful reviews. They make me smile just thinking about them. My classes are finally done, I'm writing final essays this week, and then after that I only have to focus on my dissertation (and I mean 'only' in the most stressful way possible) but I needed a break from school and as a result, you all get a new chapter! Thanks for sticking with the story and enjoy!_

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all recognisable characters, no infringement is intended. Only the plot is mine.

Chapter Eight

"I need you to breathe Jasper."

"I am fucking breathing," Jasper hissed. He wished there was a paper bag somewhere that he could breathe into. It certainly wasn't normal to be this nervous. Jasper decided to blame it on the chemo. He didn't know how the chemo would affect his nerves, but he wasn't willing to admit that he was naturally this nervous about something like this. Granted, he thought as he focused on breathing in and out, he'd never met a boyfriend's family before so maybe this was natural for him.

Edward waited patiently for Jasper to get over his nerves. After a few minutes of still being parked in Jasper's driveway, Edward decided to try again.

"Can we drive now? It'll give you about twenty minutes before we get to my home."

Jasper didn't meet Edward's eyes but his jerky nod was enough. Edward turned on the ignition and started the drive to his house. He continued to watch Jasper out of the corner of his eye.

Jasper's thoughts were whirling around meeting Edward's family and the stupidity of putting himself in the home of vampires. What if one of them lost control? What if he tripped and ended up bleeding? What if he had to pee and they could hear him?

"My family won't lose control, Jasper. I won't let them. And if you have to use the restroom then my family will politely ignore whatever sounds they might hear. But if it would make you feel better would you like me to pull over so you can go before we get there?"

Jasper reached out and pulled Edward's ear to show him exactly what he thought of that. Jasper had learned early on that, because of Edward's hard anatomy, it hurt _a lot_ when Jasper tried to smack him. So he started to yank Edward's ear. It didn't do anything to Edward, but it was something physical that Jasper could do to show his annoyance or displeasure without harming himself. Edward was even kind enough to allow Jasper to yank his head down so the whole movement was more satisfying.

"I'll take that as a 'no' then," Edward said dryly as he instantly righted himself as if nothing had happened.

"Don't tease me. I'm not exactly proud of this you know."

Edward reached out and cupped his hand around Jasper's neck. He slowly massaged Jasper's neck and soon Jasper let his eyes close and he felt his nerves begin to fade.

"Thank you," Jasper whispered.

"We can reschedule this if you'd like. My family will understand."

"No, I want to meet them. I'm ready. I am," Jasper said forcefully trying to convince Edward and himself.

"We don't have to stay long," Edward promised. "I just want you to meet them. They're so excited, especially Esme and Alice. In fact I'll have you know that Alice told me you're going to be a raging success today, and she'd know."

That did make Jasper feel slightly better. If the person who tells the future says that you're going to be fine, then surely you listen to that person.

"A raging success, huh?" Jasper asked.

"Her words, not mine."

"Well okay then. If I'm going to be a success."

Edward eventually pulled off the main road and onto a smaller dirt road flanked by trees. Jasper looked out the window at the forest closing in around them.

"You really live off the main road, don't you," Jasper couldn't help but comment after they had driven down the dirt road for a few minutes.

"We like our privacy. Being far away from everyone helps keep our cover and gives us better access to the wildlife so that we can eat without alerting suspicion."

Jasper agreed that this was the perfect place to hideout. No one would be able to find the Cullens tucked away in the forest as they were. Jasper, personally, loved the serenity that the trees gave. He had always loved being outdoors, but ever since he got sick, something about being outdoors – especially in the woods – made him feel as if everything would be okay. He began to feel the calming affect of the trees as he watched the brown and greens merge together as they drove past. He was so focused on the trees that he didn't notice when the car started to slow down.

He did notice when they parked, though, and he immediately sat up straight in his seat to get his first look at Edward's house. It was exactly what Jasper pictured Edward living in – large and classic. The three-storied house was painted white with large bay windows on the bottom floor framed by forest green shutters. The best part though, in Jasper's opinion, was the wrap-around porch that surrounded the whole house. A porch swing was in the corner and Jasper had a fleeting image of sitting wrapped up in Edward's arms on the swing.

"Esme designed the house," Edward said in response to Jasper's thoughts. "She decided that because of the rainy environment of Forks that we needed something old-fashioned and romantic. She designs all of our houses to reflect the environments around them."

"_All_ of your houses?"

"Of course, we can't stay in the same place all the time. Eventually people catch on to the fact that we continue to look the same. We have a rotation cycle so that we can retain some semblance of a home. So we have several houses all over the world."

"Well yeah, I knew that you moved around but for some reason I never thought about you owning property," Jasper said.

"Well they're good investments. Sometimes we rent them out when we know we won't be using them. But most are hidden away in woods or mountains so usually we just have to give them a good clean when we get there."

Edward stopped the car as they waited for the garage door to open. "Where's your favourite house?" Jasper asked. He was fascinated with the idea of having houses across the world. He had always wanted to travel but his cancer never let him travel outside the country.

"Prague," Edward said, "Prague is a beautiful city and I love the old European architecture."

"Surprise, surprise the vampire likes Eastern Europe," Jasper muttered. Edward gave him a mock glare and lightly tugged Jasper's earlobe.

Jasper smacked his hand away and growled out, "That's my move, not yours."

"Then don't insult me or you'll never get to see my houses," Edward retorted.

Edward got out of the car and before Jasper could blink he was opening up Jasper's door. Jasper got out and Edward clasped their hands together. Edward led Jasper out of the garage and up to the porch. He stopped Jasper outside the door and placed a light kiss on Jasper's lips.

"Make sure you don't bleed," Edward said. Jasper opened his mouth to make a snarky comment, but his words caught in his throat as Edward swung open the front door and Jasper got his first peak at the Cullen Coven's home.

It was as elegant inside at it was outside. The entry hall was covered in white marble that contrasted well with the yellow walls and white crown moulding. _Esme is really very good at this,_ Jasper thought as he looked around. The stylish house was miles away from the homey house his mother had set up, yet he still felt comfortable there.

"Tell her that and let her feed you and she'll love you forever," Edward replied. Edward took Jasper's hand again and pulled him down the hallway and into the living room where the rest of the family was politely watching TV and not staring at Jasper as they walked in.

Edward cleared his throat to let his family know that they could look and a split second later Jasper had five vampires eyeing him with varying degrees of happiness. Edward guided Jasper next to him and put his arm around Jasper's shoulders.

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Jasper. Jasper, this is my family. This is Esme, my mother, Alice," Edward said as he motioned to each person in introduction, "Rosalie, and Emmett. And of course you know Carlisle."

"Hello," Jasper said, smiling at each of them.

"Hi Jasper," chirped the black haired one that Edward had said was Alice, "It's so great to finally meet you. We've waited _forever_ for you and it's so nice to finally have Edward leaving me alone about you."

"Um, thanks," Jasper said.

"I mean he was getting really annoying. Everyday he'd ask me if I had seen you, when you were coming, when he'd finally find you. I seriously considered murder," Alice said with a completely straight face that Jasper couldn't doubt. He somehow knew that Alice – if she had wanted – would have taken Edward out. "So when you finally arrived I don't think I've ever seen him so happy."

"Alice," Edward growled.

"Did you really do that?" Jasper asked Edward.

"No," Edward immediately denied. Emmett's snort from the corner, though, forced Edward to admit, "well, not that bad. I didn't ask her every day."

"Dude, you're right. You didn't ask her every day; you asked her _fifty_ times a day. I would have fucking murdered you if I were her," Emmett said.

"Language Emmett," Esme scolded. She went up to Jasper and took his hands in hers. "Jasper, it's so nice to finally meet you. Are you hungry, I made you some soup because Carlisle said that it was something that you could eat."

"Thank you ma'am."

"Oh dear, call me Esme."

Jasper smiled and nodded in acknowledgement, "and thank you for the soup. I'm not hungry right now, but it sounds wonderful."

"Of course, I suppose you've had lunch. But let me know if you need anything to eat or drink. I want this to be your other home, Jasper, so please feel comfortable."

"I do feel comfortable, Esme," Jasper assured.

"Nothing screams 'Welcome to the family' like a bowl of semi-homemade soup specially made because we know it won't make you puke," Emmett exclaimed. Most of the family laughed at Emmett but Rosalie scoffed and stormed out of the room. As she passed Jasper she fixed him with a glare.

_What did I do?_ Jasper asked Edward. Edward just shook his head slightly and pulled Jasper closer to him. "She'll come around," he whispered.

"Don't worry about Rosalie," Carlisle said, "She doesn't react well to change."

"Come sit down Jasper," Alice said. She pulled Jasper out of Edward's arms and sat him down on the loveseat. Edward sat down next to him and placed a comforting hand on Jasper's knee. "Tell us about you," she said. Esme, Carlisle, and Emmett sat down on the couch across from them and waited.

"Well," Jasper began. He looked at Edward out of the corner of his eye before slowly continuing, "I'm a journalist for the New Haven Register, writing mostly about the national news. Um, I graduated from Yale a few years ago and have lived New Haven until I came to Forks."

"But your family's from Texas, right? I think your mother mentioned that once," Esme said.

"Yeah I grew up there. When I went to college my parents moved here."

"Why didn't you visit them?" Emmett asked, "It would have gotten Edward to shut up a lot sooner if you would've come here sooner."

"I didn't have the money at first. And then I got sick and didn't like to travel so they'd come to see me. And _I_ didn't know that someone was here waiting for me," Jasper said. Edward squeezed his knee and Jasper felt his face start to redden at the display in front of Edward's family – but he marvelled that even with the simplest contact, Edward could make him feel special.

Emmett snorted, "See Alice, we should've let Edward go and find him. Then this misery would have been over sooner."

"The timing wasn't right," Alice pouted. "It's not my fault. I didn't like seeing Edward sad but it wasn't like I could do anything about it."

"Why did you wait?" Jasper asked. He had thought of little else but Edward since meeting him, and this was one thing that he Edward hadn't tried to explain. "Why didn't you come find me? I mean, you knew my name. If you didn't know more than that then how did you know that it was me when you met me?"

"I wanted to go find you," Edward assured, "but at first I only knew your name. Then right before you came Alice had a vision of you in the hospital. So I knew that it was you the moment I saw you."

"You mean when you were stalking me from the woods outside my bedroom?" Jasper raised an eyebrow when Edward refused to meet his eye. He knew that if it had been possible, Edward would have been blushing. Jasper's stomach fluttered a bit at the idea that he could make the calm and collected Edward Cullen blush.

"Edward," Esme admonished. Emmett was laughing so hard that there should have been tears in his eyes, and Alice also looked like she was trying to hold back her laughter.

"I wasn't stalking," Edward said defending himself, "I was just… I had to see him."

"You should have been patient," Emmett smirked.

"Okay, when you have to wait for a mate that you know is coming for five fucking years and then learn that he's finally arrived but you won't get to see him for another few days, then you can talk," Edward growled out.

"Language Eddie-poo," Emmett warned, the smirk still stretched across his face.

"Boys be nice," Esme gave them both a warning look before politely turning back to Jasper and engaging him in conversation again. Edward, though, made sure to give Emmett the finger once Esme wasn't looking at them.

"So Jazz, can I call you Jazz?" Emmett asked.

"No," Jasper said. He hated when people called him "Jazz" or "Spur" or any other dumb nickname they could pull out of his name. He decided that "Jasper" didn't lend itself to any cool nicknames that didn't make him sound like a giant douchebag.

"No? Well, okay. Anyway, do you like videogames?"

"Yeah, I guess. Sometimes my hand-eye coordination is off so I suck at them though."

"Really? That's even better. That means I'll win," Emmett said approvingly. He leaned in conspiratorially, "No one else will play video games with me. The girls don't care and Edward thinks he's above them."

"That's not the reason why and you know it. You don't let me play with you because I beat you," Edward said.

"You don't beat me, you cheat."

"I can't help it."

"Anyways," Emmett said, turning back to Jasper and ignoring Edward, "It'll be nice to finally have someone that will play with me and not cheat. Every. Single. Game."

"I told you that I d –"

"That sounds like fun," Jasper interjected. He was enjoying watching them banter with each other but Esme's frown endeared her to him and something inside Jasper made him want to make Esme happy. He was rewarded with a beautiful smile when she silently thanked him.

"Well, I think it's about time that you show Jasper around the house, don't you Edward?" Carlisle said. He stood up and the rest of the family followed. "When you're done, Jasper, we can have dinner."

"That's really not necessary. I'll be fine and you don't have to go out of your way for me."

"Nonsense," Esme said, "you're family now and we love having family meals together. Even if this one will be more… traditional than we're used to."

She kissed Jasper on the cheek before rushing off somewhere. Carlisle nodded to Jasper before following his wife.

"Jasper will be hungry in about an hour, so don't get up to any funny business," Alice said. She smiled brightly at both of their horrified faces.

Edward quickly guided Jasper out of the room and up the stairs to the third floor. "Can she really know what we're gonna…" Jasper trailed off, the idea of having someone know that before even he did a little too much to handle.

"Not certainly," Edward said, "I mean, I think now we'll both make sure that… you know."

"Hypothetically, if we were to have sex here would they be able to hear us?"

Edward's silence was all the confirmation that Jasper needed and he made a silent resolve that when they did have sex, it would be at his home or when the rest of the Cullens were far away. Preferably in another state, just in case their freaky vampire hearing could stretch a lot farther than Jasper could imagine.

"Seconded," Edward said. "Though I've had to hear them enough," he muttered.

"That's disturbing. That's way too close for a normal family."

"Yes, but haven't you learned that my family is anything but normal?" Jasper certainly had. The Cullen's were as far from normal as one could get, but oddly it didn't bother Jasper as much as he had thought it would. No once, since stepping foot in the house, had he felt anything but completely safe and accepted.

He liked all the Cullens – with the exception of Rosalie who hadn't let him get to know her – and having them as his family long after his own had gone, wasn't as terrifying as it had been.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me," Edward whispered. He kissed Jasper's lips lightly, but pulled away before Jasper had a chance to deepen it.

_You always do that,_ Jasper pouted,_ Just when it's starting to get good._

"I'm sorry, I just thought you'd rather do that in the privacy of my room instead of in the hallway."

Jasper's eyes lit up and he grabbed Edward's hand, "Where too then?"

Edward snorted and led Jasper to the end of the hallway. "Here's my room," he said as he opened the door.

Jasper looked around Edward's room, taking in the light green of the walls and the rows of music and books in the bookshelves. A white couch was pressed against the far wall. Jasper plopped down on the couch and patted the spot next to him for Edward to sit.

"Nice room. You've got a lot of stuff."

"Yeah well, when you're over a hundred years old you accumulate some stuff," Edward remarked dryly.

"Anything of value?" Edward didn't respond, instead choosing to run his hands along the back of Jasper's neck. Jasper didn't mind the attention at all and leaned into the touch.

"I can't answer that question or else I'll run the risk of sounding exceptionally sappy." Jasper looked up questioningly at Edward intending to press the issue further. But when he saw how close he was to Edward's lips he changed his mind and instead lunged forward to press his lips to Edward's before Edward was able to pull away.

Jasper wrapped his hands around Edward's neck to keep him pressed against him. Edward didn't pull away this time, though. Instead he lifted Jasper up and laid him down on the couch, covering him with his body a few seconds later.

It had been a while since Edward had allowed them to get this close to each other and he intended to push Edward as far as he would let him. He let his hands travel from Edward's neck and down his back, feeling the muscles beneath his shirt. Edward's breathing became more laboured as Jasper slowly explored his back. His hands reached the end of Edward's shirt and Jasper slipped his hands underneath it, lightly trailing his fingertips along the expanse of skin.

Edward groaned and plunged his tongue into Jasper's mouth. Emboldened by Edward's response, Jasper let his right hand travel further and grab Edward's ass, raising his hips slightly at the same moment. Edward thrust back, making Jasper groan at the feel of Edward moving against him. Soon they were both lightly thrusting against each other, not with the intention of getting off, but just enjoying feeling the other while Edward was able to handle it.

Too soon Edward pulled away. With Edward hovering over him, Jasper could see his heavy breathing and eyes dilated with lust. "I need to stop," Edward growled out. Jasper swallowed and nodded unable to get any words out.

"I don't want to," Edward assured Jasper.

"I know. Being with you is going give me a constant case of blue balls."

"At least I'm not intentionally being a tease."

Edward maneuvered them around until he was sitting on the couch with Jasper leaning up against him. Edward continued his earlier action by softly caressing Jasper's neck.

"Why doesn't Rosalie like me?" Jasper softly asked. Edward's hand froze for a moment before Edward heaved a heavy sigh.

"It's not that she doesn't like you, she just feels like we aren't leaving you much of a choice. She thinks that we're manipulating you because of your sickness. Rosalie wouldn't have chosen this fate for herself and she can't imagine anyone actually wanting it."

"But I haven't chosen yet," Jasper pointed out, "I'm still not sure what I'm going to do, so I don't understand why she would assume that of me."

"It's not you, she's upset at us. I'm sure she likes you in her own way and that's why she's acting like this."

Soon Jasper's stomach started to rumble and they reluctantly got up to go to dinner. As expected, due to Alice's prediction, the whole family was sitting around the dinning room table. Two spots were left open and a steaming bowl of soup was on a tablemat in front of one of them. Jasper sat down and immediately tucked in to the soup.

The conversation was polite, but Jasper was focusing more on Rosalie, who sat silently by and wouldn't make eye contact with him. Jasper didn't know why he cared about Rosalie, but in a way he wanted to assure her. He wanted her to know that he wasn't jumping into the situation blindly. And it was a relief that there was at least one Cullen that wasn't immediately sure that Jasper should accept Edward's offer. There was someone else who would understand his hesitancy. Perhaps she would be able to assure Jasper of some of the things that he couldn't talk to Edward about.

Like the eternal love thing. Jasper didn't want to distrust Edward, but he had seen too many relationships break apart after a few years. Human emotions were temporal and ever changing… and human emotions were the only ones that Jasper knew. Despite Edward's assurance that Vampires, once changed, remained that way, it would be nice to have another person confirm it.

As soon as dinner was over Jasper saw Rosalie escape outside. Jasper followed her, letting Edward know through his thoughts where he was going. Jasper walked out onto the porch and strained his eyes in the dark trying to find where she was. After walking halfway around the porch he saw a figure sitting on the porch swing. Jasper slowly approached her, even though he knew that she had heard him walking towards her the entire time.

"What are you doing out here?" Rosalie asked as soon as Jasper was within hearing distance.

"I wanted to talk to you," Jasper said honestly.

"Just don't let them make you feel like you're trapped," Rosalie said, meeting Jasper's eyes for the first time. "If you want this, if you've thought through every possible issue, and thought about what you're giving up by doing this, then fine. But don't let them box you into a corner because you're going to die. It's human, it's natural to die."

"What about Edward?"

"I love my brother and I do want him to be happy. But I also don't want you to do this just for him. You wouldn't be happy and you'd grow resentful. If you choose this, then that's fine and I'll welcome you into the family, but only if it's your choice."

"I'm not just jumping into this," Jasper assured her, "And I'm not going to do this just for Edward. He's a factor, yes, but I won't let him force me into a decision. But I am aware that I only have a few weeks to make a decision."

"So soon?" Rosalie said weakly, "That's not enough time to make an informed decision."

"I could make one if I had everyone helping me by giving me as much information as I need."

Rosalie nodded in agreement, "well what do you still need to know?"

Jasper hesitated for a moment, but soon decided that out of everyone, Rosalie would give him the most honest answer. He took a deep breath and plunged in, "I'm still worried about the mate thing. I mean, I get that Edward loves me now. And will probably love me fifty years from now. But what about two hundred years from now? Three hundred? While Edward isn't the only factor that I'm considering, I know that I wouldn't do it at all if Edward wasn't going to be with me for the rest of my life. And, I guess, I'm just worried that eventually he'll find someone that he loves more. He'll find someone that is better for him."

"He told you about vampires' nature, right? That it's hard to change us?"

"Yeah, but I have a hard time believing him."

"I understand that, and I'm sure that, deep down, Edward understands that too. But I've been with Emmett for about a hundred years now, and while we fight all the time, I know that hundreds of years from now, I'll still love him. Our mates are our soul mates… as fucking ridiculous as that sounds. It's not like a human relationship, where you know that in different circumstances you could have ended up with someone else, someone completely different, and it would probably have worked just as well as your current relationship. Human relationships are the joining of two lives that people shape around each other – giving and taking as is necessary to make it work.

"Vampires, though, have only one soul mate. No one else will ever come close and no one else will ever make us as happy as our soul mates. I can't tell you how we know, but it's not something we can change. So you can be assured that Edward will love you forever. Just as you will love him, if you were at all worried about that."

Jasper was quiet for a moment as he thought over all that Rosalie had said. "Thank you. I needed to hear it from someone else, someone that had experienced it. It's still a lot to wrap my head around, though. And I'll need time to come to grips with everything."

"Will you come to me with any questions?" Rosalie asked.

"Yes, I think that I'll ask you things. You won't sugar coat it to make me feel better about everything."

"No, I won't bullshit you. I'll tell you all the bad things about this life. But not everything is horrible," Rosalie's face softened as she spoke, "Emmett was a good thing. And I'd have never met him if I weren't what I am. So I suppose it was good for something."

"Yeah, that's true." Jasper had thought about that as well. If Edward had lived the normal life that he had been meant to, then he would have died long before Jasper had even been born.

"You should go inside," Rosalie said. She stood up from the swing and began walking back into the house, "it's getting cool out here and Edward would kill me if you got sick just because you felt the need to talk to me."

"I'm not that fragile," Jasper said indignantly.

"Whatever mortal," Rosalie waved him off. They came back into the living room and found the whole family back in front of the TV watching Edward thoroughly kick Emmett's ass at a video game.

Alice spotted Jasper and Rosalie and waved Jasper over towards her. "Edward challenged Emmett to a game to prove that he doesn't cheat."

"Is he cheating?" Jasper asked.

"I'm not allowed to tell," Alice said with a frown.

"Motherfucker!" Emmett yelled and threw his handset at the wall. "You cheated," He accused Edward who calmly stood up and turned off the TV.

"I did no such thing, I just happen to be better than you. I purposefully listened to Carlisle recite the entire _Gray's Anatomy_ and so was definitely not listening to you."

Emmett looked hopefully at Carlisle, but Carlisle shrugged, "I was reciting it. I like to keep it fresh in my memory."

Emmett growled and stormed out of the living room followed closely by a smiling Rosalie. "I'll make him feel better," she sang as she followed him with an extra swing to her hips.

"Jasper, you're looking tired," Carlisle said. "I don't want you to exert yourself too much."

Jasper agreed with Carlisle and didn't complain that he was hovering, a sure sign of how tired Jasper really was. Edward was immediately at Jasper's side and Jasper willingly allowed himself to be wrapped in Edward's arms.

"Let's get you home," Edward said.

"Okay, thank you all so much for having me," Jasper said. He wiggled out of Edward's arms to give Alice and Esme a hug.

"You're always welcome, Jasper. Please come back soon," Esme said. She gave him one last kiss on the cheek before stepping back next to Carlisle.

Edward was quiet during the drive back, and Jasper eventually fell asleep. He didn't wake until he was being set down on something soft which he eventually realised was his bed.

"When did we get back?" He asked sleepily.

"Just now. You were so tired that I didn't want to wake you," Edward said. He removed Jasper's shoes and set them on the floor. Then he took Jasper's hat off and saw his first really view of Jasper's hair. It had just started growing back when he had needed chemo again. Now Edward was able to see the patches where his new hair had begun to fall out.

"Edward," Jasper whispered.

"Yes Jasper?"

"Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Of course, I have to work, but I'll be over as soon as I can. Now go to sleep."

"M'kay." And a moment later Jasper was asleep.

* * *

_Interlude_

_It is a fearful thing/ to love what death can touch_

'_Tis a human thing, love/ a holy thing/ to love/ what death has touched_

_by Anon_

Edward stood outside Jasper's house watching the sunrise. He knew what Jasper would think about him being there. But he didn't particularly care. It wasn't like he was in Jasper's room and he certainly didn't watch him through the window. But Edward found comfort in knowing that Jasper was safe within the house, even if he couldn't see him.

After waiting so long for Jasper, he couldn't just leave him alone. He couldn't waste anytime with Jasper. Even if Jasper was asleep and didn't know that Edward was spending time with him.

Doubts plagued Edward constantly. He worried that Jasper would choose to die and leave Edward alone. Then he worried that Jasper would choose to live, but would eventually realise that he had lost everything that tied him to the world. But worse, Edward worried that Jasper wouldn't get the chance to make a decision. That Jasper would be taken from Edward without notice and Edward wouldn't be able to offer a choice.

And so he stood outside the house.

* * *

_A/N: Well that's it. I'm not even going to promise when the next chapter will be out. I still have to write the next chapter for TWCRS, so it might be another month (*apologises on bended knee*). I hope that it was worth the wait though (I'm not convinced it was, but I tried). Until next time! ~AJ Kelly_


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Hello again! I finally got another chapter out, and I'm just as surprised as you are! I wanted to quickly say that for those of you who gave me a review last time and I didn't respond to you, I'm sorry. For some reason FF wasn't letting me review, it kept saying the link was out of date. Which didn't make sense when they had sent it to me that day... Whatever. I just hope it's fixed now. But I wanted to let you know that I tried. Thank you all for the reviews and for sticking with this story. We're reaching the end and the way I have it planned out now there're about two chapters left and an epilogue. I hope that I can complete it in a timely fashion. Of course, no promises on that. It's just a goal, and my history of failed New Year's resolutions practically guarantees that it will be a goal I won't meet. I'll try though. But that's enough from me. Apologies for any grammar mistakes._

* * *

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all recognisable characters, no infringement is intended. Only the plot is mine.

Chapter Nine

"_For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?" ~Kahlil Gibran_

Jasper could feel his body slowly failing with each day. It was the little things; he was more tired than he was the day before, he couldn't walk as long or as far as he could on his last hike, or something he could lift a week ago became heavier. Even his good days were tinged with constant tiredness.

But he was determined to push himself on his good days, even though he knew he'd pay for it later. So when he found himself feeling great he hated being alone and inside the house.

Despite having a round of chemo two days before, Jasper felt energized and pain free. His first thought when he sat up in bed and didn't feel nauseas, sore, or dizzy, was what he could do with Edward that day. Edward was always at the forefront of Jasper's mind these days and Jasper was quickly becoming used to it. His every spare moment was spent with Edward or – since meeting Edward's family five days ago – at the Cullen house.

Jasper stretched his muscles and allowed his mind to run through all the things he could do with Edward that day, but then he looked at his cell phone and couldn't hide the disappointment that crossed over his face. Edward worked today. He'd be gone all day and had a meeting during lunch so even their lunchtime make out session would be out of the question. Jasper refused to pout, but he couldn't help the frown that formed. What the hell would he do for the rest of the day?

He toyed with the idea of going to the Cullen's. But he had only been there with Edward and even though he knew that they would welcome him, he still felt a little awkward when he was alone with any of the siblings. Then he remembered the phone number written on a scrap of paper that was sitting on top of his dresser. He hadn't had time to call Jacob since meeting him last week and he wondered if Jacob would even remember the random stranger who had helped him get his couch onto his truck. But he shrugged it off and, grabbing his phone off his bedside table, walked over to his dresser to find the number. He looked at the time and, deciding that ten in the morning wasn't too early to call, punched in the number and waited for Jacob to answer.

After several rings Jacob's slurred voice answered, "There better be a fucking meteor heading straight for me, otherwise I'll kick your ass to Canada for waking me up."

"Jacob?" Jasper asked, amused. A grunt was his only response so he continued talking, "It's Jasper. From the, um, parking lot. I helped you with your couch."

There was a moment of silence before, "Oh, hey man. Sorry, I didn't recognise your voice. How are you?"

"I'm great. Um, I know that I'm calling you out of the blue—"

"Naw, it's no problem," Jacob quickly interjected. There was a rustling over the line and sounds of Jacob getting up.

"Aside from me waking you up, you mean?" Jasper joked.

"Yeah," Jacob laughed, "Besides that, it's no problem. So what's up?"

"Well I have the day free and I was wondering if you had anything going on. Thought maybe you could take me on that hike you promised," Jasper trailed off, realising that most likely Jacob had to work as well.

"Man, you've got good timing. I gave myself the day off today so I am free. And a hike sounds a hell of a lot better then laying around watching TV."

"Cool, so how about I be at your place in an hour? That sound good?"

"Sounds great," Jacob merrily exclaimed. He gave Jasper directions to his house before saying goodbye.

Jasper got his backpack together and put all the things he'd need for the day, including some extra food, water and layers of clothes. He really didn't want to tarnish the day with his illness, so he hoped that he'd feel well enough that Jacob wouldn't notice that he was sick.

Forty minutes later Jasper got into his mother's car and headed for the La Push Reservation. It wasn't hard to find Jacob's place. The reservation was off the main highway and Jacob's house was right on the main road that cut through the reservation. He parked in Jacob's driveway and took a few moments to look at the tiny house. It wasn't horrible or rundown, but it certainly wasn't as large as his parent's house and definitely not as large as the Cullen's house. Though it was still better than Jasper's apartment in New Haven, so who was he to judge?

He knocked on the front door and heard Jacob's yell from inside the house. Assuming that it was his invitation inside Jasper let himself in. "Jacob?" He yelled as he shut the door behind him.

"In the kitchen."

"Where's that?"

"Down here."

Obviously, Jasper snorted, Jacob wasn't much for communication. He followed the noises though and eventually found the kitchen at the back of the house with Jacob standing in the middle wearing jean shorts and a black shirt. He was eating dry cereal right from the box.

"Want some Lucky Charms?" Jacob asked, holding the box out for Jasper.

Jasper peered into the box and diligently picked out a few pieces. He looked up at Jacob's amused grin. "I only like the marshmallow ones," Jasper defended, "When it's my own box I eat the boring grain pieces and leave the marshmallows for later."

"But the grain is the healthy part," Jacob pointed out.

"And that's why they taste like shit."

Jacob burst out laughing, "You're right. I only get the cereal for the marshmallows too. The grain is just the shitty part that keeps me from a sugar high. Even thought is cereal is still frosted."

"Still not even comparable to the marshmallow," Jasper said. He reached into the cereal box again and snagged a few more pieces.

Jacob closed the box and put it away before moving towards some water bottles sitting near the sink. "Do you have a water bottle? I have an extra if you need it."

"Nope, I have some water and food in my pack. I brought enough for both of us."

"Sweet. Give me some for me to carry. You shouldn't have to carry everything." Jasper opened his pack and handed Jacob some of the food he had. Jacob looked into the pack and gave a low whistle, "Are you expecting us to get lost? I think you could feed the Rez with all this food."

Jasper blushed and muttered something about having a big appetite before diverting Jacob with questions about where they were going. "Well I thought I'd take you to the cliffs. It's too cold to swim, but the cliffs are my favourite place around here. You can see out into the Pacific, and there's a lighthouse that you can see on clear days. Not to mention the hike through the woods isn't too tough and I think it's relaxing."

"That sounds perfect," Jasper grinned, "Let's go. Now," he demanded, eager to breathe the fresh air.

"Okay, onwards," Jacob said extravagantly. He put his backpack over his shoulders and led Jasper outside. Jacob had walking sticks leaning against the house and ten minutes into the hike, Jasper was already thankful that Jacob had thought of them. If all else failed, he'd at least have a walking stick to lean against if he got tired.

They walked steadily through the forest, exchanging brief conversation. Jasper didn't mind, though. The comfortable silence was exactly what he needed. Jacob seemed to be able to read Jasper easily. When he started feeling tired, Jacob would distract Jasper with jokes, asking questions about Jasper's life, and telling stories about his friends. And as soon as Jasper dropped off in the conversation, either from tiredness or just enjoying the breeze and smell of the trees, Jacob stayed silent until Jasper was ready to talk again.

After fifteen minutes Jasper could already feel himself slowing down and becoming fatigued. He pushed himself though and the longer they walked, the more Jasper had the feeling that it was vitally important that he finish. If he couldn't handle a walk in the woods – and they weren't even walking that fast or rigorously – then he was worse off than he wanted to admit. He wasn't ready to admit that he couldn't do the one thing that got him out of the house and made him feel alive.

But he couldn't deny it to himself for long. Soon Jasper was stumbling along with every step and leaning heavily on the walking stick for balance. He brushed Jacob's concern off by saying he was just being clumsy, but really he was becoming so exhausted that his vision was blurring. His breath came in rough gasps; his body was drenched in sweat. But he kept pushing, because if he lost this one thing then he was nothing more than a bird trapped in a cage.

Jasper quickly found himself thinking of Edward and he couldn't help but miss him just a tiny bit. As great as Jacob was, and as nice as it was to have a friend outside Edward, Jasper couldn't help but imagine what Edward would talk about or how he would carry Jasper when he got tired.

Jasper bristled in annoyance at how easily he had accepted that Edward would have carried him. He still very much needed to do things for himself, but for some reason he didn't mind as much when Edward tried to do things for him. It was still annoying – infuriating, actually – but Jasper had eventually come to realise that it was not only Edward's way of showing he cared, but it was also his desperate attempt to maintain control in a situation that was completely out of his hands. As annoyed as that made Jasper, he couldn't deny Edward the opportunity to look after him.

Besides, it was nice to have someone looking after him. Though Jasper would never admit it. And he would continue to begrudgingly accept Edward's help until the day he died, while secretly enjoying Edward's attentions.

Jacob caught Jasper's attention and slowed them down. "We've still got about half an hours walk, but you look like you could use a break."

"Thanks," Jasper said. He tried to casually collapse on a fallen tree log and fished his water bottle out of his pack. He took a deep swig of his drink. Jacob sat down next to him and watched Jasper catch his breath.

"Are you okay Jasper?" Jacob finally asked.

"I'm fine. I just need to rest for a bit."

Jacob looked around, "We can go back if you want. You're looking tired and pale. And even though it's cold, you're sweating."

"No, no we can't go back. I need to push myself."

"Well we can't make you sick. I don't think your parents will let you come see me again if you pass out."

"I won't pass out, I just need to rest and then we can go on."

"Dude, it's not a big deal. We can go watch TV. I have beer and chips, I'm sure that we can find something good on."

"No," Jasper fiercely protested, "No, I'm tired of being inside. I need to keep going. I'm not ready to give up yet."

"Okay, okay, that's fine," Jacob held his hands up in surrender, "but will you tell me why? I don't know that much about you Jasper. I'd like to know things besides your favourite TV shows and stuff. And if you're going to involve me in something that's clearly making you sick, I think I deserve to know why."

Jasper buried his head in his hands. He had wanted just one day without the constant reminder of his sickness and now he couldn't even take a walk without it affecting him. He let out a ragged breath, "I'm dying."

"What?" Jacob said, shocked. That obviously wasn't the answer he had been expecting.

"I have cancer. The doctors give me several weeks, a month at the most. I just –" He broke off and pinched the corner of his eyes to stop any tears from escaping, "I just wanted one more day outside. I just wanted to walk in the woods and smell fresh air before I'm stuck in a hospital bed. But I can't even fucking do that anymore."

"Dude, why didn't you tell me? I'll take you back right now, you can rest on my couch—"

"I'm not ready to be stuck on a fucking couch," Jasper screamed, something wild breaking loose inside him at the idea of being trapped in a house, "I'm not ready to let people hover over me. I'm not ready to be tired all the time, or to face the reality of what's happening to me. I'm not ready," he finished weakly.

Jacob was quiet for a long time and Jasper was thankful for that. No one could really offer him words of comfort and he was tired of people trying.

"That fucking sucks," Jacob finally said. Jasper couldn't help but snort in agreement. "But you do realise that just because you can't take a long walk doesn't mean you're hopeless."

"I'm not hopeless," Jasper muttered.

"I know, shit head, that's what I said. You've already walked about half an hour and I think that's a success, considering. Plus, pushing yourself won't make you any better. If anything, you'll get worse faster. So maybe you should lay off the prideful, manly pursuits for a while."

Jasper sputtered and stumbled on his words for a while before he forced out, "I'm not trying for prideful, manly pursuits."

"No? Then what is this?"

Jasper looked off into the woods, "I wasn't trying to push myself. I could have done this last week."

"Yeah, but that was last week. If you're getting sicker than sooner or later you'll have to realise that you won't always be able to do things."

"Trust me, Jacob, I'm well aware of what I can't do anymore," Jasper said bitterly. "Every day I wake up and I'm more tired than the next. I'm waiting for the day when I wake up and I'm too sick to move. When my parent's have to take me to the hospital. Slowly day-by-day I feel my body eating itself. At every moment, something in me is dying. The only thing I have is desperately clinging onto the things that make me feel alive."

"Hmm. and what does your boyfriend feel about this?"

Jasper turned towards Jacob, "how do you know about Edward?"

"I saw you both in town last week," Jacob said with a shrug, "and even if I hadn't, when the town newbie snatches up the resident hot doctor, you better believe that people are gonna know about it."

"Boyfriend is the wrong word for Edward," Jasper said slowly.

"Then what's the right word?"

Jasper frowned, not quite able to label it. Edward referred to him as his Mate. But Jasper thought that telling Jacob that would require more explanation than he was willing to give.

"He really loves you, you know," Jacob said offhandedly.

"I know."

"What's going to happen to him when you… you know."

"I try not to think about that. I warned him off, but he's stubborn and pursued me." Jasper couldn't help the slight affectionate tone that tinged his comment.

"It's sad. It seems like you're taking him with you."

Jasper's breath caught in his throat, "What do you mean?"

"It sounds really dumb," Jacob warned, "But I've known of Edward for years. We were never friends, but he once set a broken bone of mine. Anyways, he seems paler – which is saying something since their family looks like they're relatives of Casper – and he seems like he has less energy too. I mean I'm sure he's fine. It's just that this is really affecting him."

Jasper hadn't noticed any difference in Edward. To him, Edward was always the strong one, immediately available to help him in anyway. He was his brave, handsome doctor. His beautiful vampire mate that desperately wanted to rid Jasper of his current situation.

Oh.

Jasper couldn't help but feel a guilty at all he had put Edward through. He hadn't been ready to tell Edward his decision. The answer seemed to change every hour anyway so telling Edward would have been useless and hurtful. So he just never mentioned it and he never considered how that must have looked to Edward.

"I hope someday I can find someone who loves me as obviously as Edward loves you," Jacob said. Then he blushed and glared at Jasper, "and I swear to god that if you ever tell anyone that I said that I'll call you a fucking liar and punch you."

"Your sickeningly sweet sentiments will stay a secret," Jasper teased, "I'll even pinkie swear and then later we can giggle, braid each other's hair, and talk about boys."

"And girls," Jacob defended.

* * *

Jasper decided to take a quick detour to the park before going back home so that he could have time to think. Jacob's words had forced Jasper to realise what his indecision was doing to Edward. He didn't love Edward yet, or at least he wasn't ready to admit it to himself yet, but he definitely felt affection. And he knew that given time he would love Edward. How could he not love someone who was willing to stand by him and watch as he wasted away, despite his ability to change everything?

But he was hurting Edward and that fact alone was enough to push Jasper into making a decision. And the end was getting closer.

There were many things that made Jasper hesitate. He didn't know if he would be happy forever, though he knew that Edward would fight tooth and nail to make Jasper as happy as was possible. His questions about the world, about how the infinite interacted with the temporary, still weren't answered. But he didn't think anyone could answer those questions.

Most important was that despite all these questions and unknowns, one thing stood out strongest amongst them all.

His will to live.

He could accept that he would die. He had accepted that he would die. But that didn't mean that he wanted to die. Despite his preparations he still wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to leave his family. Or to never again have a Christmas morning or Thanksgiving dinner.

To never wake up again. To never breathe in the crisp fall air. To never again have his mother's signature apple pie or even to do something as mundane as stare up at the stars. There was still so much that Jasper wanted to do, so much he still wanted to see. He didn't want to leave yet.

And Edward. It always came back to Edward. He had just found him and now there was the possibility that he would lose him. Of course he didn't have to lose him, but whatever decision Jasper made a major sacrifice would be required. Jasper would either have to give up the known – and he may not have been psyched about dying, but at least he knew that once he was gone, he was gone. No more questions – or Edward would have to give up his mate and only choice of happiness.

When he put it that way, it was terribly selfish of him to consider not becoming a vampire. Edward needed Jasper. Wanted Jasper. And Jasper wanted Edward too. It was more than lust, though there was a healthy amount of that. It was deeper than that; a connection that Jasper wasn't able to comprehend with his human mind. He had a suspicion that if he were turned their connection would be instantly clear and understandable.

He realised that it was really fear that held him back now. He could admit it. The questions that had made him hesitate before now seemed insignificant to the fear that Jasper felt whenever he thought about becoming a vampire. It was, again, the unknown. Death was terrifying but it was final. He had been ready for death for years. It was something he had a grip on. The one thing about his life that was definite. Edward wanted Jasper to give that up.

And an ever-increasing part of him wanted to. He wanted to live, to see the world, to learn more, to love Edward. He also wanted to feel healthy enough to make love to Edward. He wanted the time with Edward that his cancer denied him.

In that moment, Jasper had an epiphany. He wanted Edward. He wanted Edward to take care of him, to guide him through the world, to be by his side for an eternity, to love him, to fuck him, to run his fingers through his lost hair, to hold his hand in public and share goofy grins when they thought others weren't looking.

Suddenly becoming a Vampire didn't seem like such a scary thing anymore.

* * *

"Where have you been?" Edward demanded as soon as Jasper opened the front door.

"I was with Jacob. And then I went to the park to do some thinking. Don't worry, I was fine," Jasper assured him.

"It's just that I was waiting for you. I had to sit through dinner with your parents. Without you. Do you have any idea how awkward that was?"

"I'm sorry, I guess I didn't realise how late it was. I'll make it up to you."

Edward quirked an eyebrow in interest, "How?"

Jasper tried to shrug nonchalantly and leaned in and brushed his lips against Edward's. Edward wrapped his hand around Jasper's neck and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss.

Jasper broke the kiss and smiled at Edward. "I'll think of something," He said. He grasped Edward's hand and pulled him towards the stairs.

"Jasper, honey, is that you?" Margaret called from the kitchen.

"Yeah mom, sorry I'm late. I'm not hungry so I'm going to be in my room," Jasper yelled back, dragged Edward up the stairs.

As soon as they were in his bedroom Jasper collapsed onto the bed and let the exhaustion of the day overcome him. Edward chuckled and removed Jasper's shoes, chucking them into the corner. He laid down next to Jasper and ran his finger along the side of Jasper's face.

"You look really pale. I think you pushed yourself too hard today."

Jasper couldn't deny it so chose to say nothing. Instead he rolled towards Edward and pressed his face into length of Edward's neck. He breathed Edward in, letting the unique scent wash over him and calm him. Edward wrapped his arm about Jasper and pulled him closer.

They were quiet for a long time, both lost in their own thoughts. Jasper tried repeatedly to bring up the topic of changing him, but each time something stopped him. He had accepted that changing him was the most appealing option – at least compared to dying – but he didn't want to do it now. He needed to prepare himself. He needed to figure out what he was going to tell his parents.

He didn't know which his parents would prefer. Would they rather know that their son was alive, but a vampire doomed to wander the world for eternity? Or would it be better to allow them to believe that their son was dead? There would be mourning either way and Jasper didn't know which would be more painful.

Deciding that he didn't have to figure that out at the moment, he shifted his head so that he could look at Edward.

He looked at his mate – really looked at him – and saw what Jacob had been talking about. There was a sadness in Edward's eyes that hadn't been there when he had met him. It affected his entire being, making him appear sick and tired. It broke Jasper's heart that he was the reason the sadness was in Edward's eyes and Jasper knew that he would give anything if he could see those eyes light up again. That was the final nail in the coffin for Jasper. He took a deep breath and launched in.

"So how would we do this?" He asked.

Edward furrowed his brow, "I know I can read minds, but I also know that you hate when I do that so I've trained myself to focus on other things. So I have no idea where that came from, nor what you are referring to."

Jasper moved out of Edward's arms and sat up. He looked down at Edward, "Changing me. How do you do it?"

Edward slowly sat up, appraising Jasper before answering, "I need to drink some of you blood and inject you with some of my venom. The venom turns you, but the blood creates a bond between us."

"But I thought we were already mates."

"We are. But if I take some of your blood it will confirm me as your Sire, creating another bond that cannot be challenged. Not all mates have this bond, but every vampire has a bond with their Sire. I like the idea of having another connection to you."

Jasper stared out the window as he gathered his thoughts. "Does it hurt?"

"Yes," Edward said bluntly.

"What does it feel like?" Jasper asked. His journalist mind needed to know every little thing before he committed. He watched a bird flying outside as Edward spoke and idly wished that he could be that bird so he wouldn't have to make this decision.

"It burns. The venom goes through your system, destroying every organ, and every blood cell. It replaces all your fluids with venom. It takes days and you will feel every one of them. Unfortunately there isn't anything we can give you for the pain. I spoke to Carlisle about it, but we both agree that the venom would just consume whatever we would give you."

"If you give me more venom would the process be quicker?"

"Maybe. But if I give you too much then it will kill you."

Jasper didn't say anything, just continued to watch the bird dip and dive in the air. He could feel Edward watching him and knew that the time had come for a decision. Finally Jasper gathered all his resolve and turned back to Edward.

"Okay."

In the blink of an eye Edward grasped Jasper's chin and tilted his face to stare into his eyes. "Are you sure, Jasper? Because I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you into anything. I just…" Edward trailed off and when he spoke again Jasper could hear the relieved desperation in his voice, "I have to know that you're absolutely sure."

"I'm sure," Jasper said as firmly as he could manage. Before he could speak again Edward claimed his lips in a burning kiss. When Jasper broke away from his need to breathe, Edward pressed their foreheads together.

"I know this is scary, Jasper," Edward urgently whispered, "But I promise you I will make you happy. I will take care of you and keep you safe. I'll love you. God, Jasper, do you have any idea how much I love you?" He kissed Jasper again, "We can visit your family whenever you want. I'll take you wherever you want to go. I'm just so…" He kissed Jasper again, tracing his bottom lip with his tongue and nudging Jasper's mouth open.

Jasper tasted Edward and wondered if he would taste different once he was a vampire. Would Edward smell different? As Edward's tongue touched the tip of Jasper's, Jasper wondered if he would get his muscles back once he was a vampire. Or his hair. Would his hair come back? Would it be the same, or different like it did after chemo?

Edward cleared his throat and Jasper realised that they weren't kissing anymore. When had they stopped?

"Right about the time you started wondering about your hair," Edward answered in a slightly petulant manner.

"Sorry," Jasper mumbled, "but do you think it will? Will it be like the hair I was born with? Or will it be like it was after I completed my first round of chemo?"

"I don't know," Edward said. He brushed a cool hand across Jasper's scalp. "What colour was it before?"

"Blond and curly," Jasper answered, "That's what I was born with. But when it grew back it was darker and straighter."

"Which would you prefer?"

"If I had a choice? I guess what I was born with. It's my mom's hair. I'd like something from her to stay with me." Jasper felt the celebratory mood leave him as soon as he mentioned his mother.

Edward let his mind brush Jasper's thoughts for a moment to figure out what had dampened Jasper's mood. "We don't have to do it now," He assured Jasper.

"I know; I do want to wait. I need to figure out what to tell my parents. And I want to say goodbye to my friends. And I need to officially quite my job because dead people don't write newspaper columns. But," He smiled at Edward, trying to encourage him, "I thought you deserved an answer. Once I figure some things out then we can talk about how we're going to do this. Okay?"

Edward nodded and pulled Jasper in for another kiss. Jasper was growing quite addicted to Edward's kisses and couldn't wait for when he was strong enough to _finally _fuck. His entire body yearned for Edward and each time Edward forced Jasper to stop before he lost control, the monster of lust in Jasper's body grew.

But for now he was content to taste Edward and listen to Edward's declarations of love. He hadn't considered how happy Edward would be to know that Jasper was willing to change for him, but the brilliant smile on Edward's face was the most beautiful thing Jasper had ever seen.

Soon, though, his fatigued body got the better of him. Edward pulled the covers over his body and kissed his forehead. "I need to go tell me family, though I'm sure Alice's already informed them. But there are some plans we need to make. I'll see you tomorrow," Edward promised.

Jasper grasped Edward's hand before he could get too far away and placed a kiss on the cold fingers. "Goodnight," He murmured.

The last thing he heard was Edward telling him that he loved him and the window sliding open.

* * *

_A/N: It's not my favourite chapter, but there you go. Thanks for reading!_


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: Gasp! I know, two chapters in a week! Well, there's a reason. Today's my birthday (10 June for those not reading in realtime) and I didn't want to do homework on my birthday. But I'm too poor to do anything else, and I would have felt guilty if I hadn't done something productive. So I decided to catch up on my FF stories. Plus the second to the last scene in this chapter just would not leave me alone until I wrote it out (Don't skip ahead!). And then I had to write what lead up to it... and now I'm here. Call this payment for all those months I've made you wait for a new chapter. Enjoy... I cried while writing it. Don't know what that says about this chapter. _

* * *

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all recognisable characters, no infringement is intended. Only the plot is mine.

Chapter Ten

"_Watching a peaceful death of a human being reminds us of a falling star; one of a million lights in a vast sky that flares up for a brief moment only to disappear into the endless night forever." ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross_

Japer anguished over what to tell his parents for days. The easy thing was to tell them nothing and let them think that he died. But that seemed too cruel. He thought that perhaps his parents would prefer to know that he was alive, healthy, and happy. But then how do you tell your parent's that your vampire boyfriend is going to turn you?

That was always the point that he hit on.

He wanted to tell his parents. He wanted them to have the comfort that he would be happy and alive somewhere, even though he wouldn't be with them. But he didn't know how to explain to them about Edward and the Cullens.

Either way they were losing their son. Jasper wouldn't be able to stay with them and Edward couldn't assure him that he would be in any condition to be visiting his family any time soon.

And what would his parents even do? They would have to have a funeral. His grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins would all be told that he was dead. It was weird to think about in relation to his actual death; but to know that his entire family would have a funeral for him, mourn him, and visit his gravesite – all while he was living somewhere in Europe, immortal and learning to live off animal blood, was unfathomable.

There were no easy answers and Jasper couldn't help resenting that fact that he had gone from one impossible decision to another. Edward tried to help where he could, but he didn't know how Jasper felt. His parents had thought he was dead. He didn't have to consider whether to tell them he was a vampire or not.

Furthermore, his mind constantly protested, how would his parents even react? What was he supposed to say, "Mom, dad. You know Edward and Dr. Cullen? Yeah, well, they're vampires. And they're going to turn me so that I can run off into the sunset with Edward and be immortal." Jasper had a sinking feeling that his parents would check him into an institution if he ever told them that. Maybe they'd think the stress of his illness was getting to him.

Either way, he was starting to reject the idea of telling his parents. He wanted to. But he didn't know how.

So his only other option was to break his parent's hearts.

Jasper groaned and dropped his head into his hands. He kept thinking himself into a corner and there didn't seem a way for him to get out of it.

"Jasper, are you okay?" Jacob asked from the kitchen, his favourite place in the Whitlock home besides in front of the TV.

Jacob had been spending the mornings with Jasper while Edward and his parents were at work. It was the perfect solution because after the day of the hike Jasper's heath had taken a nosedive. He was too weak to walk and had to be carried from his bed to the living room couch. The only time he couldn't be found in one of those places was when he had to pee and even then he needed help. He could keep very little down and Carlisle and Edward were considering giving him nutrients via an IV; something that Jasper resisted whenever it was brought up.

He enjoyed spending time with Jacob though. Jake was always able to brighten his day enough that he sometimes forgot why he was stuck on the couch. They were working their way through some TV series that Jacob had brought and it was nice that Jacob was content to sit on his ass and do nothing. As long as he had food and TV, Jasper believed that the world could go to hell and Jacob would still be content.

"I'm fine," Jasper answered, "Just… thinking."

"Well stop. Obviously it hurts you. We wouldn't want you to break your brain."

"I don't think thinking can break your brain."

"Well maybe thinking about thinking can break your brain. Or at least fuck with it. They both suck." Jacob looked at the coffee table with a frown, "I forgot the chips. I'll be right back."

"You know," Jasper called to Jacob, summoning all the force in his body, "eating good food in front of someone who can't eat is really quite mean. I'm beginning to think that you're a very mean person."

"Boo-fucking-hoo," Jacob said, plopping back onto the couch, "I know for a fact that if the roles were switched you'd be sittin right here eating a big ass Hawaiian pizza, laughing at me."

"Why would I be eating a Hawaiian pizza?" Jasper asked, confused.

"It's my favourite."

"Well obviously I wouldn't be eating it because I didn't know that it was your favourite."

"Technicality," Jacob said with a wave of his hand.

"Is that really your favourite food? Not something special like baklava or cannoli or chocolate?"

"Got a sweet tooth today huh?"

"I would fucking kill for a cannoli from New York's Little Italy right now," Jasper nodded in agreement.

"Well maybe you should tell Dr. Loverboy that. I bet if you played your cards right you could get him to hire a private jet just to go to New York and get you one."

Jasper smiled as an image of him on his knees begging Edward to go to New York for him popped into his mind. It was odd to think that there was someone out there who would go through all that trouble for a pastry, but Jasper had no doubt in his mind that if he really, _really_ wanted it, Edward would make it happen. Not that he would of course.

"I wouldn't do that," Jasper said, "And stop calling him 'Dr. Loverboy'. You make our relationship sound creepy."

"Would it be better if I call him Dr. McDreamy? Or McSteamy or whatever name is the new nickname on that Doctor TV show?"

"I'm not even going to ask why you know those names," Jasper teased with a grin.

Jacob's face fell and he muttered something about gay cousins and evil ex-girlfriends before cutting off the conversation by turning back to the show. That was fine with Jasper because it let him drift back into his thoughts.

His attitude had been more positive since he agreed to allow Edward to change him. Instead of thinking about what he would be missing out on, he was able to put it on his growing 'To-Do' list. He would never be able to have a cannoli again, but he would be able to visit New York again, as well as all the hundreds of other places he had always dreamed of going but was unable to because he was sick.

An entire world had been opened up to him with one word, and while there were a lot of things he still had to work through, there was a lot more to look forward to. Jasper was nervous and excited at the new development.

Edward seemed more excited as well. Having a plan and the assurance that they would be spending the rest of their immortal lives together had deepened their growing relationship. Edward was more affectionate and cheerful. The storm cloud that had been hanging above his head since Jasper had known him had dissipated, allowing Jasper to glimpse a funny and relaxed Edward that Jasper adored.

Throughout the afternoon Jasper drifted off to sleep occasionally until it was time for Jacob to leave. As Jacob packed up his things and put the food away, Jasper was seized with the urge to let Jacob know how important his friendship was to him. Jasper knew that Edward and Carlisle were discussing the best way to do it, and it could happen at anytime. Jacob wouldn't be returning for several days, and Jasper didn't want to think that this would be the last time he would see him.

"Jake, before you go can we talk?" Jasper asked, catching Jacob's attention.

"Sure," Jacob sat down and waited while Jasper organised his thoughts.

"I really just want to thank you for being my friend. These past few days would have sucked without you here to distract me. And… I just want to thank you." Jasper could feel the heat in his cheeks and such an awkward and intimate moment.

"Dude, you sound like you're planning to die over the weekend; don't do that."

"I'm not planning to die," Jasper growled, "I just want you to know. In case I don't get the chance to tell you again. I'm glad I met you."

"Well don't," Jacob said more forcefully, "I'll see you again on Tuesday so stop your depressing funk. I'm bringing 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia'. We'll laugh our fucking heads off, you'll take a nap, and I'll dig through all your drawers."

"You don't really do that, do you?" Jasper asked.

Jacob grinned, "When you die can I have your gay porn collection? I have some friends that I could really freak out with that."

"Fuck off," Jasper yelled. He searched for something to throw but came up short so he reached behind him and threw his pillow at Jacob's head. He immediately regretted it when he tried to lean back.

Jacob just laughed at Jasper's disgruntled look and placed the pillow back behind Jasper's head. "That's what you get," He admonished. "Now I need to get going. I'll see you on Tuesday."

"Tuesday," Jasper repeated and watched Jacob pick up his bag of movies. "Jacob, I was serious. Thanks."

Jacob smiled, "No problem. See you later."

Jasper heard the door open and Edward's voice filtered down the hallway as he spoke to Jacob. As soon as Edward turned the corner Jasper couldn't help the bright grin that spread across his face at the sight of Edward. The grin only brightened when he was met with an equally brilliant one.

"How are you feeling?" Edward asked in his 'Doctor Mode', a role that Edward always had a hard time shaking off after getting off work.

"I'm fine," Jasper answered automatically. Edward frowned as he looked over Jasper.

"Have you eaten anything?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Jasper," Edward began, but Jasper immediately cut him off.

"I'm fine Edward you don't have to worry. Besides it doesn't matter. You'll change me before I get too sick so I don't see what the big deal is."

Edward sighed and sat on the edge of the couch. He took Jasper's hand and ran his thumb along the creases. "I know that, I just want you to be comfortable and healthy right now."

"Well I will be soon," Jasper said firmly, ending the conversation about his health. Edward caught on and instead started laying out the plans he had prepared.

"Well then, Carlisle and I have been talking about how to do this. Obviously there are two different options for us. If you decide to tell your parents then we can just take you away. Your parents will tell people that you went into hospital and died. Then after a time our family will move. We need to get you somewhere more secluded as you get used to your new senses.

"Regardless, as soon as I change you the two of us will be taking off on our own for a year or two. If the entire family leaves immediately after you've just died then that would look odd. If I leave then I just look like the grieving lover that couldn't handle sticking around."

"That sounds good. But I don't think I'll be able to tell my parents. I just can't come up with anything that could comfort them. I mean, I'd essentially be telling them that I'll still be living, but I'll be a vampire. That's not really something every parents thinks they're going to hear from their child," Jasper pointed out.

"Right, and I've planned for that as well," Edward straightened out and began talking again as if he were laying out a medical treatment plan, "So our other option is to admit you to hospital. We administer the venom behind closed doors. Carlisle and I will be your doctors, pronounce you dead, and sneak you away from the morgue before your transformation has a chance to complete. During the days of your transformation you will appear dead. Your skin will lighten, eventually you'll stop breathing, and your heart will stop. No one will be able to know the difference."

"And my parents will think I'm dead," Jasper whispered. He couldn't wrap his head around it.

"Jasper you don't have to decide now. You still have time to figure out what to tell them. Either way, you're in control. We can do it today or a week from now. As long as you feel healthy enough, you have time." Edward searched Jasper's face for a sign of understanding and as much as Jasper wanted to give him one, he imagined that he only succeeded in looking constipated.

"Please tell me that I'm making the right choice," Jasper begged. "I need to know that the pain that I cause will not be my fault."

Edward swept Jasper up in his arms, "Jasper none of this is your fault. None of it. I know that it hurts, but I swear to you that I will do everything in my power to make this as easy as possible."

Jasper's breathing came in gasps as he tried to keep the tears from falling. He knew that he would hurt his parents. They would lose him either way. But the decision of what to tell them tore him up inside and everything was threatening to fall apart.

"I just need to know that they'll be okay. They'll have each other, but I need them to know, Edward. I want them to know that I'm happy, that I'm fine. I don't think I could live and not come back and see them. I want to spend as much time with them as I can before they're gone too."

Edward slowly rocked them back and forth in a calming motion and soon Jasper was tear-free and breathing normally. Once he was completely calm Edward spoke again, "Then we'll tell them. If it'll make it easier for you we'll tell them together. I'll even make Carlisle be there. Then once you're ready we can see them as much as we want." Jasper nodded into Edward's chest. Just the simple suggestion of Edward and Carlisle helping him break the news to his parents seemed to life the world from his back.

"Well either way I'm looking at a hospital visit. So we should set a date. I'll think about what to tell my parents between then," Jasper decided.

Edward guiltily looked at Jasper, "I kind of figured that out too," At Jasper's raised eyebrow Edward quickly rushed to explain, "Not that I was making the decision for you, I was just coming up with options."

Jasper was silent and Edward took that as the go-ahead to continue, "See a week from next Tuesday the hospital will be short staffed. It's already a small hospital, but one of the other doctors is going on vacation and another is going on maternity leave, and we won't have replacements coming in until Friday. Carlisle and I will be manning the entire hospital on our own. So we would be in charge of everything that happens to you. That ensures that we also fill out any paperwork on you."

"Okay," Jasper said in agreement. 'Okay' seemed to be his new word of acceptance- would you like to become a vampire? Okay. Would you like to die a week from Tuesday? Okay. He couldn't help but wonder what other life changing experiences could possibly happen to him.

"Where will we go?" Jasper asked. "I mean, after you change me."

"Well to initially get you comfortable we're going to go visit some friends of the family in Alaska. They are isolated and there're lots of animals for you to hunt. Once you're more comfortable," Edward smiled at Jasper, "I thought I'd take you to Europe."

"Really?" Jasper didn't even try to hide the excitement in his voice. He had always been jealous of his college friends when they would go on class trips to Europe or spend the summer in Italy. He never went anywhere besides New Haven. Europe sounded exciting and romantic. It was exactly where he wanted to start his life with Edward.

"Do you approve?" Edward asked. In answer Jasper reached out and pulled Edward down for a deep kiss.

"You can read my thoughts," Jasper breathlessly whispered as soon as they broke apart, "Why do you even ask stupid questions like that?"

"I'm trying to be polite," Edward answered just as breathlessly, though Jasper had a feeling it was more to do with awe and emotions than actual loss of breath.

"Well stop," Jasper said. Then before Edward could say anything more Jasper claimed his lips again immediately opening his mouth so Edward's tongue could enter. Jasper carded his fingers through Edward's hair, twisting his fingers among the locks. Edward moaned when Jasper tugged one of the locks of hair and pressed himself tighter to Jasper. In playful retaliation Edward lightly bit Jasper's bottom lip and immediately got the response he wanted when Jasper gasped. Edward smiled against Jasper's lips, but it turned into a frown when Jasper began desperately coughing.

Jasper reached out for a glass of water that Edward hastily pushed into is hands. Jasper continued to cough in harsh, rasping waves. Finally he calmed down enough so that he could take a sip of water to moisten his dry mouth.

When he finally stopped he looked apologetically at Edward. "Sorry I cut that short."

"It's fine. Are you okay now?"

"Yeah, it's just a little cough. My mouth was dry. But I'm fine now."

Edward stood up from the couch and forcefully pushed Jasper back onto the couch so he was lying down. "Maybe we should lay off getting too kinky until you're better," Edward suggested.

"You think that's kinky," Jasper offhandedly commented, "Then you're in for a surprise when I'm a vampire and you don't have to control yourself around me. I'm going to be fucking you into the mattress for hours. We're going to buy a gay man's karma sutra and because we can't break we're going to try every fucking position in the book. Even the ones that look impossible."

Edward tightened into an unreadable expression at Jasper's comments. "What makes you think you'll be fucking _me_?" He said after a time.

Jasper pretended to think about it, "How about we switch off?"

"Deal."

* * *

Two hours later Edward left when Margaret got home. Jasper woke up from his light nap when he felt a cool kiss on his forehead and heard Edward speaking in low tones with his mother.

The front door closed and Margaret bustled into the room. "Jasper darling, are you awake?"

Jasper rolled onto his side and watched his mom as she busied herself cleaning up the spotless living room.

"Yeah, I just woke up."

"Do you need any food? Drink? Do you need to use the toilet?" She came over and sat on the side of the couch. She pressed her hand against Jasper's cheek as she watched him. Jasper felt tears reach his eyes as he wondered when his mother would ever touch him like this again.

Margaret took a deep breath and clasped her hands. "Well, what would you like for dinner?"

"I'm not really hungry, mama," Jasper said. Already he felt himself falling back to sleep even though he had just woken up. His entire body was fatigued and sore, even though he had done nothing all day. All he wanted to do was take another nap.

Before his eyes could close the front door opened again and Richard walked in. "Hello," He smiled and Margaret and placed a kiss on her head. "Jasper, lounging around as always."

Jasper smiled at his dad, "Yeah dad, you wouldn't believe some of the junk Jake made me watch today."

"Shit, I'm sure," Richard commented. He winced when Margaret hit his arm with an admonishing 'don't swear' before she headed into the kitchen to start dinner.

"Is Edward joining us?" Richard asked. He sat on the couch across from Jasper and with a great sigh, suck into the chair.

"No he has a meeting at the hospital," Margaret called back.

"Nice boy, Edward is. You've got quite a catch with him, Jasper."

Jasper drowsily nodded in agreement. "Yeah he is."

Richard got a look on his face that Jasper recognised from his teenage years as his dad's 'let's talk' face, and he knew that something he didn't have the energy for was about to happen.

"Jasper, your mom and I have been meaning to talk to you." At his words Margaret appeared and sat down next to him. Jasper nodded, albeit reluctantly, and hauled himself into a sitting position, wincing as his muscles protested and tried to buckle.

"Now we just want to see how you're handling all of this," Richard began evenly.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Jasper pointed out, not entirely kindly. Margaret immediately got tears in her eyes and Jasper regretted starting off with that. "I'm going to be fine," Jasper assured them, trying to backtrack. "I'm more worried about you two."

"Oh baby," Margaret was up across the room in moments, sweeping Jasper into her arms. "I can't believe this is happening to you. I would do anything to go through this for you."

"I know mama," Jasper wrapped his arms around her, "I know you would. But I'm going to be fine. I just want to know you and dad are going to be okay when I'm gone."

"How could we possibly be okay when our baby is –" Margaret choked on her words.

Seeing his mother's tears and his father's face contort in sorrow was like a knife in Jasper's gut. He opened his mouth to blurt the whole thing out, but snapped it shut. He couldn't do it on his own. He needed Edward standing next to him holding his hand and whispering that it would be okay. And he needed Carlisle ready and waiting for when his mother had a stroke from the news. Instead he decided to lay the framework to help ease them into it.

"Mama, dad, I just want you to know what wherever I go, I'll be happy. Right? Isn't that what you taught me? When I'm gone I'll be free. I won't have any more pain. And I'll be happy."

Margaret gave a tearful acknowledgment and Richard just nodded to his son.

"Can you do that for me?" Jasper pressed, "Can you just know that wherever I go, whatever happens that I'm happy. That I'm pain-free. Maybe that I'm even running around somewhere?"

"What about Edward, son?" Richard asked, "That boy loves you. What will he do?"

Jasper smiled, "I know he loves me. I may even love him too. But Edward will be fine. Trust me. I'm more worried about you two."

"We'll be fine," Richard said. He got up and sat down on the other side of Jasper and wrapped his wife and son in his arms. "We'll get through."

"I just want you to focus on how I'm not suffering anymore," Jasper said again. He couldn't let the point drop until he felt he had made his parent understand that he would end up okay.

Jasper was relieved that Edward had suggested telling his parents together. Even if Jasper had decided not to tell his parents, just the look on their faces during this conversation would have been enough to change his mind. His parents deserved to know that their son would be happy, living and loved. And Jasper would make sure they understood that, even though he had to admit that part of his happiness was at the expense of becoming a mythological supernatural being.

If Jasper had had more energy the situation would almost have been humourous.

"Well, now that we're all cried out, I think we could do with some dinner, hm?" Margaret said in a tone that didn't offer room for comment.

They ate dinner around the television that night, talking about memories and remembering when Jasper was young, energetic, and too curious for his own good – a habit that resulted in several broken bones, neighbourhood privacy invasions, and stray animals being deemed pets.

Jasper felt immense relief when he laid down for bed that night. It finally seemed like things would turn out all right. A date was set for his transformation. His parents would know about him and Edward and they would know that he would be okay. He would be healthy and living. He would get to see Europe.

And he would have Edward, the person that made all of this trouble worth it. Jasper firmly believed that if it hadn't been for Edward, he wouldn't have fought so hard for so long. Edward was now the driving force behind Jasper's actions. He hadn't been lying to his father or simply giving him comforting words when he had confessed that he might love Edward. He would never admit such a thing to Edward quite yet, but the emotion was getting stronger everyday.

Yes, things were definitely looking up. Jasper fell asleep with a smile on his face and he dreamed of Edward.

* * *

The next morning Margaret opened Jasper's bedroom and turned on the lights. "Jasper darling, it's time to get up. There was an emergency at work and they need me as soon as possible so I need to help you downstairs right now and get going."

She walked over to the closet and began pulling out comfortable loungewear for Jasper to wear for the day. When she didn't hear her son's rustling in the bed she sighed and turned back to face the room.

"Jasper I'm serious. I need to leave now, so you have to start getting up."

There was still no movement. Margaret sighed again in exasperation and went to his bedside.

"Jasper, wake up." She shook his shoulder, but there was still nothing. She tried again but Jasper's body just moved with her touch.

That's when she noticed that Jasper was colder than normal. Her heart seemed to stop as she looked on the cold, serene face of her son. She leaned down and felt the almost nonexistent, uneven breaths being pushed out of his mouth against her cheek, but despite this, there was still no response. Jasper wouldn't wake.

"Jasper," She whispered. She shook him again, "Jasper," Again, harder, "Jasper!" She screamed. There was nothing.

With a final scream of pain, Margaret ran to the phone to call an ambulance.

* * *

Edward was preparing for another shift at the hospital when Alice burst through his bedroom door. "Alice, wh –"

"It's Jasper. Edward you need to get to the hospital."

Edward raced out the door, his mind processing a million thoughts at once. But all he could think of was, "Please, _please_ God, no."

* * *

_A/N: I'll remind you all that I love Jasper. Just keep that in mind whilst you review. And if you kill me he can't be saved! Remember that too. ~AJ Kelly_


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Another chapter! Crazy huh? I know I haven't updated 'TWCRS' in forever, but I haven't forgotten it. It's just that this story has taken up my imagination for the moment and the other one isn't talking to me right now. A disclaimer for this chapter (not a bad one, trust me) I'm not sure I handled Edward's talk with Jasper's parents well. It's not a talk I've ever had and I hope I paced it appropriately. But I couldn't make it better, so if you have a problem with it, forgive me. Second, despite my desire to be an astronaut, I'm not a scientist. The explanation for the turning process is just me making shit up. I wanted Jasper to have his curls, so if my explanation for why he does isn't scientific or accurate, here's my reasoning: Because I said so._

_Well, with that out of the way, Enjoy!_

* * *

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all recognisable characters, no infringement is intended. Only the plot is mine.

Chapter Eleven

"_When you lose someone you love, you die too, and then you wait around for you body to catch up." ~John Scalzi 'Old Man's War'_

Edward watched as person after person entered the hospital room. Some were regular visitors like Jacob, Rosalie and Alice, while others were people from town who had only met Jasper once. It seemed like once Jasper was on death's doorstep everyone wanted to be part of the tragedy that was his life. _Everyone likes to be part of the drama_, Edward thought bitterly.

It had been five days since Jasper had been admitted to the hospital. Five days of waiting and hoping that he would wake up. Five days of his outlook becoming bleaker.

Edward had reached the hospital in record time only to find that Jasper had gone into a coma overnight. The paramedics had been unable to revive him and he was immediately placed in a room and put on life support the moment he entered the hospital. Carlisle ensured that Jasper had received a private room and since then Edward, Margaret and Richard hadn't left Jasper's side.

Carlisle tried to encourage Edward and tell him that Jasper would be okay. That there was still a possibility that he would recover, but Edward knew better. The past five days of doing nothing but sitting by Jasper's bedside had given Edward time to think. He could see the gaunt, pale face of his love – when had he lost so much weight? Without the light in Jasper's eyes, without Jasper's personality drawing attention, Edward was able to see just how poorly Jasper actually looked.

He was thin. The hollows of his cheeks were clear and brought into even sharper contrast by the sickly pale of his skin. Jasper's skin could rival Edward's in paleness, but while Edward's paleness gave him an ethereal beauty, Jasper's only made him look that much closer to death. And that was something that Edward didn't need reminding of.

Despite all this Edward couldn't bring himself to look away from Jasper. He was terrified that he would look away and that would be the last moment for him. There had already been a close call. Edward had stepped outside for a moment to talk with Alice. They had only been talking for five minutes when the alarms in Jasper's room had gone off. Jasper had stopped breathing and even through the doctor's and nurses had been able to start his breathing again and insert a breathing tube, Edward wouldn't risk it happening again.

He hadn't eaten since Jasper had been admitted, hadn't showered, and rarely spoke with the visitors. He just sat and watched Jasper. He watched each machine-forced breath as Jasper's chest rose and fell. The beep of his heart monitor was a cruel lullaby in the quietness of the hospital wing.

There was no doubt in Edward's mind about what he would do. He would change Jasper no matter the cost. Even if he had to steal him from his hospital bed, Edward would change Jasper. But he knew that Jasper would prefer his parents to know. And Edward just couldn't force himself to be cruel enough to kidnap their sick son from his deathbed and never let them know what happened to him.

Edward made up his mind to tell them and after days of fretting about what to say, Edward decided that brutal honesty was what was necessary. He couldn't wait any longer anyway. Jasper as quickly going and Edward wanted Jasper's parents to completely understand what was going to happen.

It was hard to find a time to talk to them. Even though the three of them were always in the room, nursing staff, doctors, and other visitors always interrupted them. It wasn't until Jasper had been in a coma for a week that Edward could be assured that they wouldn't be interrupted. Edward even had Carlisle help guarantee their privacy.

The three of them had gotten into the habit of not speaking to each other. They each spent most of their time watching Jasper and silently urging him to wake. So when Edward cleared his throat and turned to look at Margaret and Richard, he immediately felt like he was intruding on a private moment.

"Richard, Margaret, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about. I don't exactly know how to say this, so I'll have to apologise if I don't explain myself properly," Edward said. As he waited for Margaret and Richard to mentally prepare themselves, he searched their minds. He allowed himself to become familiar with the way they sounded and thought so that he could approach them better. Richard nodded at Edward and he took that as his cue to continue.

"I want you to know that I love your son. Jasper is—he's the most amazing person I've ever met. The moment I saw him I knew that he was someone I needed to know. And every moment I've spent with him has just made me grow to love him more."

"Oh son," Richard started. Edward held up his hand to stop him from continuing.

"I know that I will love Jasper, and only Jasper, for the rest of my life. I know that he is the person for me. That is why I'm coming to you now. There's something you need to know about me and my family. You'll think me crazy, but I need to tell you because Jasper wasn't able to."

"Edward dear, I know that you loved Jasper," Margaret said, "But I think that the way you're holding on to him is unhealthy. Jasper wouldn't want you to spend the rest of your life pining after him."

"Margaret I understand your concern but if you'd just let me continue…"

"And I'll be eternally grateful that you were there to make my son's last weeks wonderful. I've never seen him as happy as when he was with you." Margaret started crying with each word. She buried her head in her husband's chest and only her sobs could be heard in the room. Richard muttered to his wife, trying to calm her down.

"We're worried about you now son," Richard continued when he became clear that his wife could no longer talk. "We told Jasper not to lead you one. That this could only end in heartbreak. But at the same time, I'm selfishly glad that you ignored us because you gave him his life back, if only for a moment. And as Margaret said, we'll be eternally grateful. If you ever need anything, we'll do what we can to help.

"And Edward, don't feel guilty about moving on. Jasper would want you to be happy. So even though Jasper feels special now, don't let that stop you from experiencing love with someone else."

"No, would you please stop," Edward interjected. "I'm not holding out false hope on Jasper. I'm being very realistic about this. I'm in love with your son. I will never love another person like I love Jasper. And I won't ever need to."

"Edward –"

"Please just wait and listen." Edward stopped to calm himself so that he wouldn't yell at them. He knew that Jasper wouldn't appreciate him exploding at his parents. "My family is different. We're… special. See we have exceptional health and extremely long lives. We're fast, faster than cars. And we're three times stronger than any man," Edward could see the questions forming on Richard and Margret's faces, so he quickly continued on before they could interrupt him, "We aren't normal humans. Jasper knew about what we are and a few days ago he decided that he wanted me to make him the same as me. Because he wanted to live and be healthy, and I can give him that."

"Is it a medical treatment?" Richard asked warily.

"No, what I am isn't anything medical or natural. Well, not natural in the normal sense at least," Edward hesitated. Despite his brain's super-human ability to process thoughts, he couldn't think of a good way to relay what he needed to say. "Jasper wanted to tell you himself. He – he was going to tell you before… and I'm not really sure how to tell you this in a way that you'll believe me."

He took a deep breath, not out of need but to calm his nerves, and decided that if the direct approach worked with Jasper, then hopefully it would work with Jasper's parents. He looked at Richard and Margaret directly in the eyes and tried to convey as much honesty as he could, "I'm a vampire."

The looks on Margaret and Richard's face would have been humourous if Edward hadn't been so tense and nervous. Instead Edward interpreted the look of shock, bemusement, and wariness, as denial and disbelief. His mind was assaulted with their thoughts, and the overwhelming thoughts were: _This boy is crazy_ and _What the fuck is he talking about_ and _What kind of sick joke is this when my son is dying?_

Edward knew that he would have to prove it to them. So he stood up and looked around the room for something indestructible. He spotted Margaret's gold necklace.

"Margaret, is that necklace important to you?"

She furrowed her brow, "No, I bought it at Target. Why?"

"May I have it?" She studied Edward, then brushed her hair out of the way and removed her necklace. Edward snatched it away before she could change her mind and promised to replace it. He clenched his hand around the necklace and felt the gold crumble with the force. Edward reached out his hand and opened it up to Richard and Margaret. Her necklace had turned to gold dust.

"What?" Margaret whispered. She reached out and Edward let the gold powder fall into her hand.

"I'm extremely strong. There's nothing here that I couldn't destroy. If course I've had years of practice in controlling it." Margaret didn't say anything. She dragged her fingers through the powder in wonder.

"Try something else," Richard said. "How do we know you didn't have a chemical or something on you that would dissolve it?"

"Yet my hands remained unharmed?" Edward challenged.

Richard lifted his head and pursed his lips, "I still don't believe you."

"Fine," Edward said. He focused on Richard's mind, shifting through all the thoughts in Richard's head. And there, underneath all the disbelief was a glimmer of hope.

_Is he saying he can save him?_

"Yes Richard, that's exactly what I'm saying. I can save Jasper."

Richard's eyes widened momentarily but then became guarded, _Why did he say that? I didn't say anything about saving Jasper._

"I can read minds. It's not something every vampire can do, but I can. My sister, Alice, sees the future. She's how I knew Jasper was coming here. She's how I knew that he was important to me."

Edward could see Richard beginning to open up, but he was still unsure.

"Test me."

"How should I do that?"

"Think something outrageous. Something I'd never be able to guess." Richard silently took up the challenge started thinking of random things, searching through his memories and interests to find something random to think of.

He finally settled on a song and started singing the chorus in his head, _The Union forever, Hurrah, boys, Hurrah! Down with the traitor, up with the star._

"You're singing the Union Battle Hymn of Freedom from the Civil War. You put your love of history and learning into Jasper and when he was a kid you'd take him to Civil War reenactments. That song always reminds you of those times, when Jasper would sit on your shoulders and you'd tell him all about the battle." Edward relayed as the thoughts and connections ran through Richard's mind.

"How did you know that?" Richard tried to be mad but instead his curiosity got the better of him.

"You told me. It was all there in your mind."

"Fine," Margaret interjected before Richard could say something, "let's say we believe you. You're a- a vampire. Why are you telling us this?"

"Because I can save Jasper. A few days ago Jasper told me that he wanted to become a vampire. He wanted you to know that he would live, that he would be healthy again, that I will love him and my family will keep him safe."

"You're saying that to save my son's life you want to turn him into an immortal mythological creature," Richard said sardonically.

Edward ignored the scorn, "Yes."

"And why are you telling us?"

"Because Jasper wanted you to know. And once he's able to control himself, he wanted you to know that we would visit you as often as we can. Or you can come visit us. Or even stay with us, if that's what it takes. I just want to save Jasper before it's too late and I know that he would want you to be in complete agreement with him."

"How are we supposed to believe this? What you're asking us to believe is completely outrageous."

"I'm not asking you to completely believe me right now. I know it's too surreal to believe. But I want you to give me a chance. The only way you'll be convinced is when you see Jasper alive and healthy. I'm asking – no begging – you to give me that chance." Edward waited, knowing that there was nothing more he could say. He stood up, "I'll give you sometime to talk alone."

Edward left the room and went to think in his office. He shut the door to keep people from finding him. He knew that if anyone tried to talk to him at that moment that he would snap at them. Instead he focused his mind on Jasper.

If – no, he forced himself to think positively, not if, _when_ – Jasper's parents agreed, he would bite Jasper as soon as possible before it was too late. Once Jasper appeared dead, Carlisle would declare him dead and Edward would take him to the morgue. Then he would call Alice and she would drive to the exit of the morgue, load Jasper into the car, and take him to the Cullen house for Jasper to complete the transformation.

After the first hunt, Edward planned for them to go to Alaska so that Jasper could learn to control himself in an isolated place but a place close enough that the Cullen's could visit them. Edward also hoped that by being only a few hours away from his parents Jasper would adjust better. Maybe he would even be able to control himself sooner if he knew that he could see his parents as soon as he had control.

Edward was serious when he told Edward and Margaret that they could visit Jasper or even stay with them. If they didn't want to be separated, Edward wouldn't make them. He would do anything to make them agree. He'd fly them around the world if they would only believe him and let him turn Jasper.

And if they didn't… Edward couldn't even think about that. Losing Jasper wasn't an option in Edward's mind. If his parents didn't agree Edward would do it anyway and be wracked with guilt for the rest of his life. That was a small price to pay for Jasper's life.

Jasper.

Edward closed his eyes and brought up an image of Jasper in his mind. His smell, his eyes, the steady beat of his heart. All those things would change once he was turned and a part of Edward would miss that. He committed the human Jasper to his memory. He recalled every conversation, every thought that Edward had ever heard in Jasper's mind. He burned it all in his mind, knowing that human memories dimmed in comparison to all the vampire senses. Edward knew that one day Jasper would want to remember who he used to be, and Edward would make sure that he would be able to tell Jasper everything down to the way he tasted when they kissed.

Edward lost track of time until a knock on the door brought him back. "Come in."

The door opened and Richard poked his head in. "We've come to a decision, and we'll tell you together. But I wanted to speak to you alone."

Edward motioned for the empty chair across from him. Richard sat down and studied Edward with a steady gaze. Edward tried not to read Richard's mind so that Richard could feel like he had an advantage. It was, after all, his son they were dealing with. The examination made Edward feel like he was in a 19th century novel and he was the unworthy suitor asking for a rich man's daughter's hand in marriage.

"You understand that all of this is bat-shit crazy?" Richard bluntly asked.

"Yes sir, and if I weren't living it, I'd agree a hundred percent."

Richard hummed in his throat, "I know that you love Jasper. And I'm pretty sure you wouldn't put him in danger."

"I would never intentionally put him in danger. And if he were in danger I would protect him with my life."

"If we say yes, how would this work? Never mind," Richard stopped himself, "Margaret will want to know that. Let's go back to her." Richard stood and Edward followed.

"Sir," Edward spoke before they left the room, "I would never take Jasper away from you. I would for a time while he learns to control himself, but I would never deny you a second chance with him. I meant what I said, you can spend as much time with him as you want."

Richard turned and walked away without answering. Edward hoped that wasn't a bad sign and timidly followed Richard back to Jasper's room. Margaret was sitting on the side of the bed with Jasper's hand in hers. She looked up when Richard and Edward entered the room, offering a weak smile to Edward. Richard sat next to his wife and put an arm around her shoulders and his other hand on top of hers grasping Jasper's hand. They both turned to Edward, who sat back in his seat on the other side of Jasper.

"How would you do this?" Margaret finally asked. She was on the verge of tears and her voice quivered with each word.

"I will bite him here, as soon as possible before he gets worse. Once he has progressed in the transformation enough that he looks pale and is cold, Carlisle will pronounce him dead. That part usually is the day after the bite. He'll be taken to the morgue and one of my family members will be waiting at the back exit. From there we'll take him to my home where he can complete the change. After that I have a home in Alaska where Jasper and I will stay until he is able to control himself."

"Control himself from…"

"The bloodlust. My family drinks the blood of animals instead of humans. It's one of the reasons Jasper agreed to be turned. I'll take him to Alaska where we'll be isolated and there will be no temptation to attack humans."

"And then?" Margaret asked.

"Once he's controlled we'll go wherever he wants. I assume a visit to you, of course, will be our first priority," Edward smiled encouragingly at them, hoping to make them feel better about what they were hearing. "After that, well, Jasper told me he wanted to see Europe. I have a house in Prague that I want him to see."

"We'll be able to see him?" Margaret sobbed and covered her mouth with her hand.

"I would never keep you away after he's able to control himself. You do understand why you won't be able to see him right away, though? He won't be able to control himself and if he were to do anything to you Jasper wouldn't be able to live with himself. It'll probably be about a year. But you can write. We can Skype as often as you want. Do anything you want to keep in touch. Once he's ready you can see as much as you want of each other."

"What will happen to him," Richard spoke for the first time since they had entered the room.

"The venom will rush through his body igniting the cells in his body into hyperdrive to create the optimum species. The so-called 'super-cells' will repair any previous damage caused by the chemo – and the venom itself will burn off all remaining chemo in his system—and strengthen his muscles. Carlisle and I hope that this will work on his hair cells as well.

"After the venom ignites the cells it moves on to the next process: sterilising and freezing the cells in that condition for decades. After a couple hundred years the cells sometimes begin to break down, but usually the cells maintain that form forever.

"From that point on the venom is only an active agent in the fangs, where it is a dissolvent for our food. Throughout the rest of the body it is essentially an inactive lubricant."

Margaret and Richard were quiet for a moment. The looked at the face of their son, both lost in their own thoughts. Then they shared one of those 'couple looks' that can communicate vast amounts of information without words before turning back to Edward.

"Fine," Margaret whispered so quietly that Edward wouldn't have been able to hear if he hadn't been a vampire.

Edward froze, "Are you sure. I don't want you to feel that you're being coerced into anything."

"We just want our son alive," Richard said, "If you think you can give him that, then we're willing to let you try. We still don't know what to make of your story, but I guess it doesn't matter now."

"Thank you," Edward answered earnestly, "I know this is weird, but you'll see I promise. Jasper will be fine."

"Will it hurt?" Margaret asked.

"Yes," Edward answered honestly, "It will be painful for him. But we're hoping that because of the coma it won't make a scene. He won't cry out, I hope."

"And when do you want to do this?"

"As soon as possible. Today, if you'd agree. I'd have to get Carlisle here so that he could supervise and know what's going on. I'll bite his pulse points and right above his heart to hopefully help the process along."

At Richard and Margaret's nods of approval, Edward ran out of the room to find Carlisle.

Edward found Carlisle quickly and soon they were both back in Jasper's room. Carlisle went through the process with them again to make sure that Margaret and Richard really understood what was going on. After they agreed again, Edward and Carlisle left the room to allow Richard and Margaret to say what would be their goodbyes until Jasper was ready to see them again.

"I'd prefer if we could do this somewhere with more privacy, but I'm afraid to remove Jasper from the equipment," Carlisle said.

"Well let's hope that because he is in a coma he won't be aware of the pain. With me here there won't be a reason for a nurse to do more than check his vitals," Edward said. They reentered the room and Edward sat down next to Jasper and took his hand, feeling the human warmth for the last time.

"Shall we?" Carlisle quietly asked the room. Margaret cried again but agreed, while Richard gave a gruff 'yes'. "Richard, Margaret, I want you to know that Esme, my wife, is preparing a room for you at our home. You can stay with Jasper up until right before he's going to wake but then, I'm afraid, you'll have to leave. I'm sure Edward has assured you that you will be able to keep in contact with him while they are away?"

"Yes. And thank you both for being understanding," Richard replied.

"Of course. And if you need any help preparing or financing the mock funeral, please let us know. My family will attend without Edward who will, of course, be playing the role of the reclusive, grieving lover." Carlisle smiled at Edward who rolled his eyes.

"What about the body?"

"We were hoping you would be fine with cremation. That way we can provide you with an urn and avoid all questions."

"That will be fine."

"Very well. Edward are you ready?"

Edward gave a final look at Richard and Margaret, then looked back at Carlisle before nodding in agreement. Carlisle administered a morphine dose under the hopes that it would help with the pain. Then he stepped away and only Edward remained near Jasper.

He took one final look at his human love. The sleeping face that, no matter how emaciated still looked beautiful to him. The thin body that Edward couldn't wait to touch without fear of hurting him. Edward looked at what the cancer had done to Jasper and couldn't help the flash of emotion that shot through him. There was anger for what Jasper had went through and yet a possessive pride that he would be the one to eradicate his loves body of this monster.

With that firmly in his mind, Edward leaned over Jasper's body and buried his nose in Jasper's neck. He breathed in his scent, drawing up all the memories of them together. Once he had Jasper – his Jasper, his mate – as the complete focus of his mind, Edward extended his fangs, tilted Jasper's head up to expose his neck, and bit.

* * *

Jasper was aware of pain. It burned through his veins like fire and whisky had been poured into his body. It was everywhere at once and Jasper wondered if this was the chemo finally dissolving everything in his body.

He heard voices around him, and after a time he could identify them. His mother and his father spoke around him, though he couldn't understand what they were saying. Hearing their voices made him want to stay aware just so that he could hear them for as long as he could.

And Edward was there. His voice was like a strong beacon, pulling Jasper closer to him and away from the pain that threatened to cloud his mind.

At moments he was aware of being moved and then other voices were there. But still the only definite things Jasper could focus on were his parents and Edward. Everything else blended with the pain.

He listened to their voices, clinging to them as a source of sanity and a confirmation that he was still alive.

When his parent's voices stopped Jasper was sad, but at that point he was becoming more aware of things around him. He was beginning to become more conscious, he could smell things, and while his hearing had started off sounding like he was underwater it was beginning to sharpen. These things distracted him from the loss of his parent's absence.

Besides, Edward was there the whole time. Calling to him and bringing him home.

Finally everything seemed to come to a head. There was a burst of extreme pain and then there was nothing. No breath, no heartbeat, nothing.

Jasper lay silent, wondering what had happened. His mind was racing, processing everything going on in the room. He could hear animals, people, someone fucking miles away. And he somehow knew that someone was in the room with him. Jasper breathed in a scent more glorious than anything he had ever smelled before. Without opening his eyes, Jasper knew it was Edward. Who else would have that scent? Who else would smell that heavenly but Edward?

"Jasper?"

That voice, it was so clear now. It was like he had never truly heard Edward's voice, all the nuances of his speech and the subtle Irish lilt of his words that never truly went away even after a hundred years. How had he not noticed that before?

"Jasper," that precious voice called again.

Jasper heard a movement from across the room and footsteps walking towards him. Edward crouched down beside the bed that Jasper was laying on and cupped his cheek in his hand while the other hand buried itself in the newly grown head of blond curls.

"Jasper, are you awake?"

And Jasper opened his eyes.

* * *

_A/N: I think there's only one more chapter to go! Thank you all for reading and for your reviews! ~AJ Kelly_


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: Well this is it. The final chapter. I'm really quite sad to see this story end. I'd like to thank everyone who read, reviewed, alerted, or added this story to their favourites. It's been a great ride and I apprecaiate all of you sticking with this story and enjoying it. _

* * *

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all recognisable characters, no infringement is intended. Only the plot is mine.

Chapter Twelve

_One year later…_

"Jasper?"

Jasper opened eyes to stare at his love's concerned look. "I'm alright," he said, though he wasn't sure if that was true.

"We can wait you know. We don't have to go right now, we can wait a month or two until you're really ready."

"No," Jasper said firmly with a shake of his head, "No, I'm ready. I'm just worried that something will happen."

"Nothing will happen," Edward pulled Jasper into his lap and pressed a kiss against his lips, "You have amazing control. We've tested you, and I know that it's hard for you, but you always keep your control. And I'll be there if you need help, as will my family."

Jasper made a whimper in his throat and hid his face in Edward's neck. Edward ran his fingers through Jasper's hair, an intimate gesture that he had taken to when he realised that it practically made Jasper melt.

"And they're your parents Jasper. I know you won't hurt them," Edward said finally.

Jasper sighed and nodded into Edward's neck. It had been a year since he had been turned and Edward had finally deemed him ready to see his parents face to face. They had kept in contact, emailing and talking on the phone and over Skype regularly. On top of that, his parents had surprisingly become friends with the Cullen's. They had grown closer when Esme and Carlisle had comforted them while Jasper had made his change. So they kept them up to date on Jasper's progress and explained things they wouldn't be able to understand and Jasper didn't want to talk about – like the bloodlust. But even though his parents were fully informed, Jasper was still nervous.

It had been hard for him to learn to control himself. When he was isolated there was no temptation, but as soon as Edward tried to test him, Jasper couldn't handle the thirst. There had also been a few close calls with hikers trespassing on their land despite the "No Trespassing" signs. If Edward hadn't been there to pull Jasper back from the ledge, he knew he would have killed them. And the first time Edward tried to take Jasper out in public they had to leave quickly before Jasper attacked someone.

Even now his control wasn't perfect. His thirst was only heighted by his instinctual knowledge. Even though he had never tasted human blood, something inside him beckoned him towards people. Deep inside, whenever he bit into an animal's neck and tasted the blood flooding into his mouth, he knew that there was something missing. He knew there was better blood out there. But with Edward there Jasper was always able to resist.

_As long as Edward's with me,_ he thought, _I'll be fine._

"I'll always be there," Edward quickly replied. "You know that. Now, no more stressing. We'll leave tomorrow morning and get there just in time for lunch."

"Fine. But you're driving. I'm so nervous I'd probably crash the car," Jasper stood up and stretched his muscles. It was unneeded, but since getting his strength back, Jasper found himself flexing his muscles as much as possible. He also fiddled with his hair a lot. He was beginning to wonder if he was developing a vanity complex. Edward didn't help either – telling him he was beautiful all the time, caressing his hair, staring at him with that look that went right to his cock.

The look that Edward was giving him now.

Jasper grinned, "See something you like?"

Edward caressed Jasper's hips with the pads of his thumbs, "Maybe."

"Just maybe? Well in that case I'm going to check my bag and make sure I packed everything. I don't want Alice to trick me into a shopping trip under the pretense that I need a new swimming suit."

"It's January."

"What's your point? I have to have everything so she can't say there's something I'm missing."

Edward hummed in his throat as an answer but didn't let go of his hips, unwilling to release Jasper. He pulled Jasper's hips closer and kissed the small patch of skin exposed from his raised shirt.

"Are you even listening to me anymore?" Jasper asked knowing full well that Edward wasn't. Not that he cared though. Not when Edward's lips and hands were on his skin.

"I always listen to you love," Edward murmured against Jasper's skin. He raised Jasper's shirt higher and resumed his lapping of the skin. He dipped his tongue into Jasper's navel and grinned when Jasper shuttered beneath his hands. Edward raised his head to stare into Jasper's eyes. "I'm quite capable of multi-tasking. In fact," he gave a sharp tug on Jasper's hips so that he was straddling Edward, "how about you let me show you how efficient I am."

"Yes please," Jasper breathed.

That was the last thing he could say before Edward buried his hands in Jasper's curls and dragged his head down to meet his lips. Jasper still hadn't gotten used to the heightened senses, so every taste of Edward took his breath away – metaphorically at least.

Jasper nibbled on Edward's bottom lip and smirked with success when Edward parted his lips and their tongues touched. That taste, it was something Jasper looked forward to experiencing for the rest of his life.

It was the first thing that Jasper had tasted in his new life as a vampire. After he had woken, Edward stayed with Jasper in his room helping him adjust to the heightened sights and sounds he was experiencing. People miles away sounded like they were right by him, colours that he had loved as a human suddenly seemed dim in comparison to what he could now see. With only Edward in the room, Jasper took hours to get used to everything. Edward helped him adjust to the hearing until he grew used to it and could control it. There wasn't much Edward could do about the sight, but he patiently sat by Jasper as Jasper ran around the room like a little child picking up things and exclaiming how different they looked. Then, to shut him up and calm him down, Edward kissed him.

Everything else paled in comparison to the feel of Edward's lips on his and Edward's taste in his mouth. When he was human, Jasper simply thought Edward tasted sweet. Now however, Jasper could pick up on all the lingering flavours. Edward's taste was like a fine wine, with layers upon layers of fruits and floras and a hint of vanilla.

Until the end of his days, Jasper knew that Edward's taste would be the most prominent thing in his memories.

Jasper was thrown from his thoughts when Edward gripped Jasper's thighs and pulled him down to grind their erections together. Jasper moaned and roughly ground his hips into Edward's again. He unbuttoned Edward's jeans and – with swiftness and grace that he had learned to love – stood, slid Edward's jeans down his legs, threw the jeans somewhere in the corner, and pounced on Edward, pressing him against the cushions of the couch.

"Jasper," Edward moaned when Jasper reached a hand between them and began stroking Edward's cock.

"Yes, love?"

"It's my turn," Edward reminded him. "You promised. You've been a greedy bastard for the past week, and while there're few things I love more than having your cock in my ass, I also love having mine in yours. You promised I'd get my turn."

"So I did." Jasper raised himself from Edward and slithered down his body. He reverently placed a kiss on the tip of Edward's cock and let his tongue dip into the slit. Edward's hips bucked and Jasper moved out of the way, grinning when Edward frowned.

"Stop teasing," Edward growled.

"I'm not teasing. It's your turn," Jasper said. He leaned back until he was sitting on Edward's calved. He ran a finger along the base of Edward's foot absentmindedly. "So, what are you going to do about it?"

The words were barely out of his mouth before Edward had flipped Jasper onto his back and ripped Jasper's shirt and jeans off. Edward's mouth was on Jasper's nipple, nibbling and sucking it until it pebbled, whilst a hand did the same with the other.

Once Jasper was gasping for breath, Edward kissed and nibbled his way down his chest. Every inch was lavished and sucked, every patch of skin received its due attention. Finally Jasper's cock was engulfed by Edward's warmth, the base and tip teased with every movement of Edward's tongue.

Jasper watched as Edward's bronze hair bobbed between his thighs. Jasper still couldn't help but be in awe of Edward. That Edward would do what he did for him was something Jasper had to work on wrapping his head around. It seemed amazing that someone like Edward wanted him, loved him, and saved him.

Jasper had jokingly taken to calling Edward 'hero' and once had even called him 'Prince Charming'. However, Edward had snottily replied that if he was 'Prince Charming' that made Jasper the 'Damsel in Distress'. Edward didn't get sex for two days after that and Jasper stuck with only calling him 'hero'.

Edward's fingers slipped into Jasper's entrance, stretching and preparing him for Edward. Edward's fingers curled against Jasper's prostate and Jasper came, digging his fingers into Edward's shoulders.

Edward released him and crawled back up Jasper. He stared down at Jasper and, again, Jasper was left breathless at the love showing through.

Edward brought his lips against Jasper's until they were brushing. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," Jasper whispered back.

Jasper wrapped his fingers in Edward's hair and kissed him, letting their mouths and tongues fuse together. Edward's hands caressed Jasper's thighs before lifting them and wrapping them around his waist.

With their mouths still together, Edward slipped into Jasper. Their vampire instincts tingled as they came together as mates have done for centuries.

This. This feeling of Edward inside him, filling him, moving in him, was easily the greatest tactile feeling Edward had ever given him. Jasper felt incomplete when he wasn't bodily connected to Edward. At this moment, when their hearts, thoughts, and bodies were one, they were as close to each other as possible.

Jasper could barely remember his life before he had met Edward, and he couldn't think if a reason why he would want to.

Everything – his heart, mind, body, and life – was Edward's and Edward's alone.

Edward speed up his tempo bringing both of them closer to their release. Not needing to breath was definitely one of the best things about being a vampire. They didn't need to break their kiss at all until Edward gave on hard thrust aimed straight for Jasper's prostate. Jasper threw his head back with a low moan and came after barely needing to touch himself. Edward followed soon after when Jasper tightened around him and put him over the edge. He stilled above Jasper and came with a guttural groan.

Edward dropped onto Jasper's chest and Jasper wrapped his arms around Edward, holding him close. This was their routine. After sex – regardless of whether it was rough or not – they would stay wrapped up together, letting their breathing regulate together.

Jasper caressed Edward's cheek, loving how soft and smooth it was. His fingers traced the lines of Edward's face. The perfectly formed nose, the strong jaw line, the arching brows. Finally his fingers ran along the lips. Lips that he had bruised, lips that would only be kissed and touched by him.

Edward's eyes lit up at Jasper's possessive thoughts. His lips opened and his tongue darted out to lick Jasper's finger. Jasper eyes filled with lust as Edward licked a trail up and down the finger. A light nibble on the tip was the final straw and Jasper pinned Edward beneath him.

"Ready for round two?" Jasper asked, though it wasn't really that much of a question.

"Always am."

"It's my turn now," Jasper insisted. He palmed Edward's cock in emphasis.

"Yes," Edward hissed at the contact.

This was another perk of being a vampire: quick recovery times and never needing to sleep. It was a rare night that wasn't spent making love until dawn.

Jasper was sure there were other perks to not needing to sleep, but a year in he had yet to discover what else he could possibly want to do with his time.

* * *

The next morning Edward packed the car while Jasper paced nervously in the living room. They would be leaving this home behind for a while, assuming everything went well with his parents. After spending time with them for a few days they would move on, though Edward wouldn't tell him where they were going. Just that Jasper would love it.

Jasper petulantly thought he would love it more if he knew where the fuck he was going. But Edward was so excited about his surprise that Jasper was loath to ruin it. So he let Edward keep his secret because that didn't mean he couldn't try to trick Edward into giving up hints. It didn't work though. Having a partner who read minds didn't bode well for any sneakiness.

"Ready?" Edward asked from the doorway.

"Yeah, just preparing myself."

"Well you have a three-hour long car ride to prepare yourself. If we leave any later we'll be the last ones there. I thought you might want some time alone with them before everyone arrives."

"Yeah, yeah I do. Do you have all the bags packed?"

"Everything's ready. Do you have your passport?"

That got Jasper's attention. "I'll need a passport? Where exactly are you taking me?"

"I'm not telling and don't get too excited. For all you know I'm taking you to Canada," Edward said. He wrapped his arms around him and not so subtly tugged Jasper out of the house.

"Fine." Jasper sighed then grinned widely, "Do you have the tickets."

"Yes and I'm not going to tell you where they are so that you can't try to sneak a peak." Jasper's face fell and he gave a tug on Edward's ear.

"Fine, keep your secrets."

"I will, thank you very much."

They both got into the car and Edward started driving at his typical high speeds. They were almost to Washington when Jasper decided to try again. The silly banter was the perfect distraction and they both knew that.

"This better be a fucking spectacular place to make up for all the teasing you've done these past weeks. I have high expectations now," Jasper warned.

"You'll love it."

"That's what you keep saying," Jasper muttered, "Can't you say anything else?"

"Yes I can: Mind your own business," Edward said. Jasper imagined it was hard to say that through the evil smirk that was spread across Edward's face.

"This is my business," he pointed out.

"Not yet it isn't. I'll let you know when I'm good and ready."

Jasper huffed and flopped back in the car seat. The most infuriating part of the argument was that Edward could read Jasper's mind and knew that Jasper wasn't really mad at him. It never helped their fights – which rarely ever happened anyway – when Edward could just dip into Jasper's mind and find out what would make him happy again.

"How about this," Edward reasoned, "I'll give you one hint. But after that, you're done. No more hassling, no more questions. Nothing."

Jasper sat up and had to contain himself from getting too excited. "Deal. Now give me a hint."

"Fine. Here's your hint: Statues."

There was a pause then Jasper made a strained noise. "Statues? What the hell kind of hint is that? That could be anywhere. Anywhere!"

"That's not my problem. That's your hint. Now shut up and think about it."

Jasper pouted for a few moments but quickly got over it. Thinking about the hint was better than thinking about the possibility of him ripping his parents apart. Before he knew it they were pulling into Forks.

Jasper automatically tensed as the scent of humans filtered through the air. Edward clasped their hands together and gave a reassuring squeeze. Jasper took a deep breath and nodded to reassure Edward that he was okay. He had a death grip on Edward's hand though and when Edward tried to pull his hand away Jasper hung on so tightly that his nails dug into Edward's skin. If he had been human it would have drawn blood.

Edward pulled into the Whitlock's driveway, parked, and got out before Jasper could say anything. Jasper hesitantly followed Edward up to the porch. While Edward knocked, Jasper distracted himself with looking around at the place where he lived for two months.

It looked so similar and yet completely different. The home was exactly the same and it had only been a year since he had last stepped foot on this porch, but it felt like it was a lifetime ago.

He could hear his parents in the house and instantly all his nerves vanished. The excitement at seeing his parents again, of bringing them into this wonderful new life he had, was overwhelming.

"They're coming," He said excitedly. "Thank you for not letting me back out of this. I love you."

Edward smiled and kissed him, "I love you too."

The door opened and Margaret gave a cry of relief before launching herself into her son's arms. Jasper clung to her as tightly as he could without hurting her.

"Oh my baby boy. I've missed you so much."

"I missed you too, mom," Jasper whispered into her hair.

"Are you good? The Cullens have told me that you're fine but I just couldn't believe it until I saw you with my own eyes."

"I'm fine, mom. Edward took care of me," Jasper said. He lifted his head to catch Edward's eyes and gave a loving smile. "He'd never let anything happen to me."

"Of course he wouldn't," Margaret said with a sniff. She pulled away from Jasper to release one of her hands so that she could wipe the tears from her eyes but kept the other arm firmly wrapped around Jasper. "How silly of me, keeping you boys out here. Come in, come in. Your father will be so happy to see you."

Jasper allowed himself to be pulled into the house to the living room with Edward trailing behind. Richard took one look at his son before pulling him into his arms. Edward stood in the door watching them all hug each other.

"Let's see you," Richard said. He pulled Margaret to his side and they both studied Jasper, taking in his muscles, his hair, and how healthy he looked. It was the first time since he was a teenager that they had seen Jasper looking completely healthy.

"Oh Jasper, you look beautiful."

"Mom, I'm a man. I don't look beautiful. Well," Jasper said after a thought, "Edward's beautiful. But it's his thing."

"Nonsense, you're my son and you standing here, happy, healthy, and in love is the most beautiful sight of my life," Margaret insisted. If Jasper could have blushed his face would have been bright red. Edward's laughter from the door didn't help him at all.

"Thanks mom."

Margaret's eyes filled with tears and faster than Jasper expected he was wrapped in her arms. Then Richard's arms encircled them both, and Jasper felt that final part of his life click into his place.

His family was now complete. He had his parents, the Cullens, and Edward – his family. And finally he had everything he could possibly want.

* * *

The Cullens arrived and Jasper couldn't imagine anything better than this moment. Edward was sitting next to him, their fingers intertwined together and Edward's hand carding through his hair, his parents were on his other side and the Cullens were across from them.

Surrounded by family, Jasper wondered why he ever hesitated to take this. Sure there were things he was giving up by being a vampire, and there were a lot of questions still unknown. But this moment, this exact moment, was worth it.

And Edward was worth everything. Jasper hadn't understood Edward's commitment to him until he became a vampire and fully understood how important mates were. The possibility that he could ever live a life of any value without Edward was ridiculous. Edward was his life. Every decision Jasper made was considered with regards to how it would affect Edward. With his amazing vampire mind, there was always some thought about Edward there. It was a constant.

Edward was a part of Jasper that could never be eradicated.

He finally understood how desperate Edward had been when he was sick. Jasper couldn't imagine what he would have done if the roles had been reversed. Jasper was constantly in awe at how patient Edward had been. Even more so, he was astonished that Edward had given him a choice. Edward had, knowing how necessary a vampire's mate is, willingly allowed Jasper to make a choice, even though that choice could have taken away his entire world. Had the roles been reversed, Jasper didn't think he would have given Edward a choice. Knowing what he now knew about mates, he couldn't imagine going through what Edward went through.

That was another thing that made Jasper love Edward. Edward was willing to give him up, just to make Jasper happy.

And he was happy. Indescribably happy.

Edward pressed a kiss into Jasper's curls. "What's got you thinking so hard, love?"

"You. This. Everything."

"That's a lot to think about. Don't hurt yourself," Edward said. Jasper growled quietly and tugged Edward's ear.

"That's not funny. That joke stopped being funny years ago and as someone who's lived forever you should know that." Jasper tilted his head until he was looking at Edward. "But seriously, I'm thinking about how lucky I am. If I hadn't met you I wouldn't be here now. If I hadn't come to Forks, I'd never have found you and you changed my life in ways I'd never have imagined."

"I would have found you," Edward answered fiercely. "If you hadn't come to Forks, if I had to wait much longer, I would have found you somehow. There was no way I was living without you."

"But you would have." Jasper straightened up and took Edward's face in his hands. "You gave me a choice. You let me decide even though there was a possibility that I wouldn't decide to be with you."

"Yes, well. To be honest, I probably would have been a lot more persistent if you hadn't told me when you did. I tried to give you space, but that wouldn't have lasted much longer. I would have annoyed you until you agreed. Trust me, I wasn't going to just let you say no."

"I don't know how you were so patient," Jasper admitted.

"It wasn't easy. Alice had to keep telling me that it would work out in the end. I had to believe that everything would be okay." Then Edward smiled and leaned into kiss Jasper. "And it did. You're here, you're wonderful, and we're going to be happy."

"Yes we are," Jasper said. "And," he said, to lighten to mood, "where are we going to start being happy first?"

"Stop it," Edward said with a teasing frown, "I gave you your hint, now bugger off."

"Bugger off? We're in America, Edward."

"Fine, fuck off, then."

"That's more like it."

Edward kissed him, because that always shut Jasper up.

* * *

Three days later their families drove them to the airport. Jasper was sad to leave his parents, but now that he had passed the final test he would be able to see them a lot more. Edward promised him that his parents could visit as soon as possible. In fact, Edward had already purchased tickets for his parents and in four months he would be able to see them again.

The Cullens were staying in Forks, though Emmett and Rose were coming to see them in a month and would be spending a few weeks with them as well.

Overall, while Jasper felt saddened that he was leaving his family, he knew that it was permanent. He knew that he would always have these people to turn to and rely on. This was his home.

"So are you finally going to tell me where we're going?" Jasper asked.

"You've known all long," Edward said. "I told you I had a place in Prague that I wanted to show you."

"That's it? We're going to Prague?"

"Yep." Jasper couldn't contain his excitement and pulled Edward in for a bruising kiss.

"But what about your clue?"

"My clue was perfect. There are the statues on Charles Bridge and the one of John Hus in Old Town Square. It fits."

"I don't even care right now," Jasper said, his annoyance evaporating. "You're taking me to Prague?"

"I told you that you'd like it."

"Like it? I'll love it. I can't wait. And to be there, with you and our family…" Jasper trailed off.

He couldn't believe how his life had turned out. One year ago he was dying, his body was destroying itself, his entire life was crumbling. And one simple meeting changed all that. Edward had given him hope; he had shown him that there was something worth living for. Now he was off with Edward to Europe. He was reunited with his family. He had received everything he had ever wanted.

Edward took Jasper's hand, "Are you ready for a new life, love?"

Jasper smiled at Edward, "I can't wait."

With one last kiss they were off.

* * *

"_I had not known, before us, that every vein in my body was capable of carrying light […] I had not really known I could be so much more than myself. I had not known another body could do this to mine […] Now I had taken a whole new shape. No, I had taken the shape I was always supposed to, the shape that let me hold my head high." ~From "Girl meets Boy" by Ali Smith, p.81_

* * *

_A/N: Thanks again you guys! I think the next story I'm going to write will be a Harry Potter (Harry/Draco) one, so if that's something your interested in, come check it out. (I already have the plot and summary so if you'd like to know, just ask in your review or PM me.) If not, hopefully I'll see you next time I write a Twilight fanfic. Until then! ~AJ Kelly_


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